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KNOW Your True Self Series-“Healing Past Memories”{2}

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Last week when we started talking about Knowing our true self, we touched upon the first step to this knowing and that was -Being a Dreamer! If you haven’t read that article{the first part of this series} I suggest you read it too, so that you can truly and very simply start the process of Knowing your true  calling. Once we have realized our dreams and have started working on them consciously, automatically they tend to replace all the negatives in our lives with hope and positivity. A certain passion within us will come forth at the realization of our true dream.

This is the Second Part of the “KNOW Your True Self Series” of Articles. You will find more details of this life altering series at the end of this article.

Every man’s memory is his private literature. ~Aldous Huxley

The second step is healing our memories. All of us have a vault of memories, that in itself can be the material for many many bestselling books and movies! We all have had heartache & pain, happiness & serenity, peace & contentment in our past. Amazingly when our memories come forth, they come in waves-waves of either happiness or sadness. And many times these memories can bring up lots of pain too, which hinder your growth.

There are 2 types of memories:
Good memories- The memories that make you happy, make you smile and make you want to relive that moment over and over again, each time making you happier and happier. Good memories help you regain your confidence, make you feel better about everything in you and around you.
Bad memories- The memories that make you un-happy and bring forth a very strong pain in the heart. You can’t help but cry..and usually you stay in this state for a whole day or week or even a  month. A bad memory is like a scar on your heart. The more you fidget(think) with the scar, the deeper and more painful it becomes. When you apply an ointment and leave the scar alone, the faster it heals.

Sometimes, its a smell, sometimes its just a color, sometimes its probably a date on the calendar….anything can spark a memory. Good or bad…memories are there and they can’t be undone. In-fact you being the star of all your memories, its hard to forget too. But, who says you have to forget. You should remember…its part of your healing process.
The bad memories though, are like scars on your heart and soul. If they come and bring you intense pain, sadness and leave you with an inability to function for a set period of time-you NEED to heal them! HOW?

How to Heal Past Bad Memories?

Don’t be too daunted, its not difficult and certainly not impossible. It just takes a bit of will power on your part.
Here are a few points you should remember and start working on. These will work like the ointments on those past scars and help them heal:

  1. Be Conscious at all times- Which literally means, don’t think on autopilot. Sometimes we are just going through our day literally automatically. In order to make sure, your bad memories don’t crop up unexpectedly and cause you to spoil your day, you need to consciously think. Example-when you wake up, in your mind tell yourself, today will be a good day. While brushing your teeth, think about brushing your teeth, not about something else…and so on. Be in the Present moment as much as possible. It will take some practice on your part, but you will master this. When you are in the NOW, no past can hinder your growth in this very moment. No past bad memory can control your today, unless you let it. The choice is ultimately yours.
  2. Forgive the bad memory and all in it- If a bad memory does come up, don’t shoot it down. Let it come up, let it bring up whatever feelings it has to. But, cause you are now consciously thinking and aware of it, try and deduce why this particular memory is causing you so much heartache. Usually its either you blame yourself or someone else. You need to forgive yourself and whoever is in that memory. Consciously forgive. You need to physically if possible write this memory down on a piece of paper..in as much detail as possible. Let it bring up emotions. Once this particular memory is on paper, read it and then tear this paper into tiny tiny bits and either throw it in the bin or in a near by pond or river..all the while forgiving yourself and all in that memory. If at first you mentally find it difficult to forgive its ok. Repeat this action as many times with the same memory as possible. Usually it wont take you more that 2 paper tears to get over it. This whole process lets you forgive and release all negativity from your system, thereby speeding up your internal healing and letting your true self emerge. That self which was hidden under the layers of negativity & painful memories.

With the above two ways, you will be able to get over all those bad memories you have stored within you, which are literally a hindrance in your potential growth. When you let go of these bad memories, you make space within you for so much love, peace and positivity. Which in the grand scheme of living your authentic life and finding your true calling are milestones for knowing your true self.

The best part of this process is, you are now thinking positive thoughts. You are now making positive memories. In a few years from now, when you think back to this time of your life, you will have only good memories and will be free of those haunting bad memories. I’m not saying you wont have any bad experiences in life..ofcourse you will, but your internal positive health will help you bounce back faster. It will make you stronger.

So, are you ready to fill your life with positivity and Know your truest self?
Take action NOW! Its all in YOU and only you.


“Know Your True Self” – The Series
How can we truly KNOW our true self?
Is a question that has been asked many many times. Many have asked me this very question via email, twitter, facebook and personally too.

The answer is a vast yet important topic, with many facets to uncover. Hence I’ve decided to turn this answer into a Know Your True Self - Series of Articles which will be spaced out over the next few weeks. The articles will be short, simple & full of practical ways to Know Your True self, thereby guaranteeing success to you in your journey of Knowing your true calling. Be sure to subscribe, so that you don’t miss any part of this life altering series.

 

What are your thoughts on this topic? How have you been coping with past painful memories? Do share your thoughts in the comments below.

Stay Tuned! Next week we talk about Know Your True Self by Knowing and Honing Your Passions” Be sure to subscribe, so that you don’t miss any part of this life altering series.

If you liked this article please share it with your friends and family on your favorite social networks…facebook/twitter/stumble..The sharing buttons are at the end of this article.

With Immense Love & Gratitude,
~Zeenat~
Counseling Psychologist/Spiritual Counselor
Motivational Speaker/Naturopath


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Author: Zeenat Merchant Syal

Counseling Psychologist/ Spiritual Counselor/Motivational Speaker/Naturopath/Holistic Healer/Writer

25 thoughts on “KNOW Your True Self Series-“Healing Past Memories”{2}

  1. It’s those very same memories that form the foundation of our beliefs about what we deserve and what we are capable of. Memories are seldom objective because the memories we hang on to are the ones with a strong emotional component. That means that we have used our emotional perspective to assign a good or bad label to those experiences with corresponding feelings of pain or pleasure.

    • Hi Jonathan,
      I have to agree with you on this. The reason I focused on the emotional side of the memory is, cause that’s where all the pain in stuck at. Working on it form that level makes it easier to let go. You cant let go of the object…but you can certainly forgive the person and the situation that cause that pain. The release is enough to start the healing process.
      Now i know why your book is gonna be a super duper hit :)
      So much Love~

  2. Hi Zeenat,

    It is so very important to forgive ourselves and others to move forward with our lives and heal. I coach from a method I came up with and Pardoning (of oneself and others) is the VERY first step in healing from within. (AND the one my clients usually have the most trouble with). I look at it like this – forgiveness doesn’t mean “I am sooo happy that happened”, it means “I am not letting this effect me any more”. I was very hard on myself for being so sick for so long and forgiveness of myself was one of my hardest things to overcome… I love Deepak’s quote for this “You must realize that everyone is doing the best they can from their own state of consciousness”… that goes for us too.. Forgiveness of how we or someone else acted is so very healing when you recognize MOST LIKELY they (we) were not truly AWARE of the repercussions when we did such a thing to begin with.

    You brought up good points about being conscious AND about facing the emotions tied to the bad memories. When we store these emotions and don’t process them – dis-ease can definitely occur.

    Wonderful points Zeenat and good advice on how to move forward… MANY can benefit from reading this! Loving this series! :-)

    Love,
    Jenny

    • HI Jenny,
      You have said it perfectly…many times its hard to see the other persons point of view at the time of a heated argument, which leaves a bad memory. But when you think about it calmly, you realize ‘who knows what he/she must be going through to react that way.’….And yes, deepak’s quote is perfect..
      Our consciousness coming into our hands is the best gift we can give ourself….
      Thank you fro your amazing comment here. So beautiful.
      So much Love~

  3. This is a great addition to your series, Zeenat! I especially like your point about how we don’t need to forget the bad memories. Truly, they are part of who we are, part of what has made us into the people that we are today.

    When the healing has been completed it is possible to look back on bad memories in a whole new light. It’s possible to look on them without the bad feelings associated with them that used to be there.

    Those bad memories can be used for good. We can reach out to help others who are going through similar hard times, or we can help others who are trying to heal from similar times. We can reach out and heal relationships that were harmed during the hard times. We can even be grateful for the hard times because we can see how they actually helped us become a better person. It really is amazing that all of that truly can be accomplished, but it can!

    I’ve gone through a lot in my life, I’ve also healed / overcome so much too. It is a real blessing to be able to look back on a hard time and be grateful for the hardship. I’m planning on writing about several of these experiences in my blog in order to hopefully help others.

    Stacy

    • HI Stacy,
      Its apparent in your being and in your writing that you are such a compassionate person…this compassion grows when we are faced with problems in our life. Its lovely to see that you have taken your experiences and grown and learned from them. I await to read more of you and your amazing life lessons on you beautiful blog.
      SO Much love to you~

  4. :) i will try to do what u say..ma’am
    just the thought that u r there to talk to me..about things..makes me feel better day by day..*hugs*

  5. Hello Zeenat,

    Writing down memories is a very powerful way to take the emtion out of them, particularly with bad memories. When we are able to look at those bad memories objectively, as somethat happened, without it having an effect on our current emotional state we have forgiven and can feel fabulous again!

    • Hi Kate,
      I agree…writing down memories is a kind of release a letting go action. Its out of your system and on the paper for you to do whatever you want with it. Its empowering and healing.
      Thank you for your fabulous comment here.
      Much love~

  6. Hi Zeenat,

    Forgiveness is crucial if we want to get rid of the bad memories. We have to learn to forgive each other and empathize with people. Thanks for sharing

  7. Hello Zeenat!

    Wonderful article Z. You gave excelent advice when you said that it’s ok if you have a bad memory come to mind. We just do not need to use that experience for our benefit. I know that I look at such things as a valuable learning experience.

    My favorite part was when you spoke of how that since we are now making good memories, therefore creating a great history…today! :-)

    You’re awesome as always Zeenat. I love coming to your blog. :-)

    • HI Keith,
      Oh it takes awesome to recognize awesome too ;)
      Usually if we can learn from our past it makes for a better present and an amazing future. Most people dont realize this fact and keep dwelling on past memories as a source of discouragement. …I hope more and more people realize that its ok to have bad memories and mistakes…just learn and not repeat them.
      Thank you fro your awesome comment.
      Much love~

  8. What better thing to do to escape to your site when mine crashes in the midst of writing a long post…..And I am smiling already – Can you believe it? Zeenat, if there was one soul I missed sorely at Blogworld, it was YOURS! I don’t even think I could have handled all the brightness you would have had with you but I would have inhaled your sweetness and devoured your company – and as for this article, thank you for don’t saying to forget the bad memories but rather how to “acknowledge and release” them as I like to say! Thank you dear sweet heart…..thank you for calming me down and giving me perspective….!

    • HI Sweet Farnoosh,
      So sorry about the crashed site…but your last post is super duper…I guess its just all the traffic. Which on its own is awesome. Just make that site stronger so it can handle the now pro-traffic ;)
      I love your thought of “acknowledge and release”! Its a very simple yet effective approach.
      And I’m always here to calm thee ;)
      So Much love~

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  10. Hello Zeenat,

    You are so brilliant when it comes to working with mind! What could be more perfect than staying in the present moment, being aware of whatever thoughts and emotions arise and simply letting them pass by? It takes practice, but as you say, we can all master this in time. I also love the idea of looking back in a few years on a new bevy of happy memories.

    Thanks for the inspiration.

    • HI Sandra,
      Yes, it takes practice…but it can be done. And thank you sweetie for the knowing the mind compliment :)
      I love it that we all have so much power to create so much happiness!
      Thank you for you amazing comment here.
      SO Much love~

  11. Dear Zeenat,
    The process you have shared above is so valuable. Writing down bad memories was a process I undertook years ago. I also sketched and painted them. The process of being with those memories and feeling all the feelings and then expressing them through writing and painting led me to a discovery.

    And I came to know forgiveness as an empowering gift. I had given my power away and allowed my emotion charged memories of past events control my life. Paradoxically, I would be the one who benefited most from extending forgivness. I would get my power back by letting go.

    Some people think that being powerful is a negative thing. I don’t. I believe from a deep place of alignment within your self owning your power is having the courage to take responsibility for your consciousness. I forgave myself and the other people too.

    Conscious living is living with more awareness – it’s waking up to the joy and positive significance of each moment. It flows from the recognition that the wisdom that we seek is already within us — within the moment.

    Smiles and blessings,
    TiTi

  12. Hi Zeenet:

    I was thinking of doing some blog comments tonight and I came to Preeti’s blog. There I saw Farnoosh and her comment, I ran to Farnoosh’s blog site. She has so many comments, I was going down my way to write a comment, I saw you and ran here. As I liked your name and …

    Long journey to meet you. It is a pleasure to visit your blog. The topic is awesome and I loved the way you have expressed it. Past memories and forgiveness are
    so related, as usually bad memories are hard to forget, but still these are best when forgotten. I have made a habit of reminding myself to let go and move on, and now it is getting easier to do so after years of reminders.

    Thanks for a beautiful post.

    Make yourself a great day

    Fran Aslam

  13. I am so happy that I have come across your blog Zeenat. The exercise you describe above is one that I definitely need to do and soon. So who knows…maybe today will be the day. Thank you for this and looking forward to reading lots more of your insightful and beautiful posts! Thank you :)

    • HI Rosemary(offbeat woman),
      I’m so glad you stopped by :) Your comment exudes such amazing energy. I’m sure once you put your mind to it..you will be able to this exercise of letting go of past memories..and emerge fresh and healthy.
      Lovely to see you here and thank you for your amazing comment.
      Much love~

  14. Pingback: KNOW Your True Self Series- “Knowing & Honing Your Passions”{3} « *POSITIVE PROVOCATIONS*

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