I love romance and all and I truly mean ALL things related to it. I have been given many lovely nick names over the years, but the one that sticks most is ‘love bunny’. My intense slant towards romance and love in general could have something to do with it ;)
Romance fills our thoughts, our dreams, the movies we watch, and almost anything we listen to. And why not? Romance is the very essence of life. It is the celebration love.
With Valentine’s Day coming up, thoughts are turning to love and romance. The men are getting cold sweats and the women are getting entitled. The candy and trinkets have been on the shelves since days. But there is another way to approach this celebration of love and giving – romance yourSelf!
Typically, we expect romance to come from a partner, a lover, or a significant other. Wanting to love and be loved is fundamental to our nature. Yet, when we don’t have that special someone in our lives, the absence of romance can leave us feeling dull. And sometimes, even when we do have a significant other, we still sometimes sense that lack luster feeling of detachment and emptiness.
It doesn’t matter if you have a partner or not. You don’t need to depend on another person for you to feel loved, whole and cherished. In fact, since the main person in your life is YOU, ideally you should be taking steps to honor and respect yourself every day.
What exactly is romance?
Everyone has their own specific definition of romance, but we can agree that romance means to have affection, to provide an interest in your own contributions, and to feel passion and strong feelings.
“Romancing Yourself” happens when you take life into your own hands – when you get to know yourself, spending time with your likes and your joys. When you romance yourself, you do the things that nourish and bring out your inner radiance. You place attention on the details that are important and meaningful. And you delight in your senses, opening up to how wonderful things smell, taste, look, and feel. Romance is the little things – showing yourself that you care.
19 Positive Ways to Romancing Yourself on Valentines Day or any other day:
Get to know, and appreciate, all of who you are! Below are nineteen ways to rekindle your love affair with yourself! Take yourself out on a date this valentine’s …. ;)
- Take yourself on your ideal date. What have you always wanted to be asked out to do? Here’s a secret: You don’t have to wait to be asked. Go ahead; splurge. You’re spending an evening with the most special person you’ll ever be blessed to meet: yourself.
- Treat yourself to that special restaurant, the one with the flower filled outdoor patio. Read your favorite book by the table’s candlelight, occasionally pausing to look up at the starry night sky.
- Take yourself out to a four star movie. Buy a big tub of popcorn. Laugh uproariously.
- Listen to what pleases your ears on a breezy summer afternoon. Let your eyes tear and your imagination wander.
- Spend a Sunday afternoon in the park. Watch the kids play catch catch, and be sure to walk barefoot in the cool grass.
- Keep a journal. Write down random thoughts, snippets of poetry, or your dreams. Draw a portrait of the person who always sits across from you on the bus/train ride to work.
- Spend an afternoon at the art museum. Melt into the paintings. Visit the natural history museum. Be a tyrannosaur. Hungrily devour the humans walking oh so quietly through the museum halls. Its fun to be with yourself ;)
- Play with Legos and colored pencils ¯ creativity is good for the soul.
- Sit quietly in your room early in the morning. Breathe soundly and listen to the sound of the dawn. Know your beauty in silence.
- Be generous to yourSelf materially. Yes, that means buying something just for you! Don’t wait for someone else to purchase something for you. If you have had your eye on that gorgeous set of earrings, then buy them! You, my dear, are worth it. He can buy you the matching necklace ;)
- Be generous to yourSelf with time. Instead of running around all day in a frenzy of activity for your job, family, school or whatever else you give your time to, take some time for you. Whether it be a day off of work, an hour long soak in the tub or ½ day curled up in a good book, give yourSelf permission to enjoy some down time.
- Forgive yourSelf. What’s done is done, and your expectations for yourSelf are probably higher than anything you’d ever ask of someone else. Whatever you feel you have done “wrong,” learn from it and forgive yourSelf. You’d do the same for another person, so why not for you?
- Let go. This goes hand in hand with forgiveness. If you find that you are carrying around anger or a grudge toward someone else, why not just let it go? The only person you are hurting is yourSelf – and that doesn’t make much sense, does it?
- Take care of your body. It is good to you, carrying you around and allowing you to get on with your life. Make sure you nourish it with healthy food once in a while, take supplements and get some exercise. Your body will thank you!
- Eliminate the word, “should.” Every “should” statement is laden with unnecessary guilt. If you say that you “should” do something, that means that someone else expects you to, perhaps even yourSelf. If your “should” is something that you honestly don’t want to do, then don’t do it. You always have a choice.
- Affirm yourSelf. You’re good enough, you’re smart enough, and doggone it, people like you! Telling yourSelf wonderful things about yourSelf makes you feel great! If you hear something enough, you will begin to believe it. So why not make sure that you are hearing the good stuff?
- Pamper yourSelf. Treat yourself to a massage once a month, or once a week. Feel how good it is to be at home in your body. Go for a manicure, a pedicure, a massage or whatever else makes you feel special. After all, you ARE special and you deserve these things!
- Support yourSelf. People need people. Do you have a circle of friends that you can talk to? If so, spend some time with them. If not, brainstorm about how you can meet other women. Research has shown that women who have a close circle of friends feel more positive on a day-to-day basis.
- Replenish yourSelf. Spend some quiet time in prayer, meditation, walking in nature or whatever makes you feel connected to a Higher Power. Quieting your mind and connecting with something or someone bigger than you are can bring about an intense sense of inner peace.
Remember, Valentine’s Day is not the only time you can do these things! In fact doing them on a regular basis will improve your whole Self – physical, emotional and spiritual.
“Romancing Yourself” is all about nurturing your own beautiful, sensual connection with life. It’s about being in tune with who you are, and taking action to do the things that add spice to your life. When you romance yourself you feel more alive and more filled with love.
So, go ahead. Love yourself. Be good to yourself. Treat yourself well. Romance yourself and let life romance you in return.
You are the only one that you can totally depend on…and you’re worth it!
What are your thoughts on this romantic topic? Any suggestions to romance yourself up your sleeve? Do share in the comments.
Special Note: On Valentine’s day be ready for a Super Special Article all dedicated to LOVE….I told you I love LOVE ;) !!
With Immense Love & Gratitude,
Counseling Psychologist/ Spiritual Counselor
Further Positive Reading:
- Transform Yourself with Self-Compassion (positiveprovocations.com)
- How to lovingly support someone who is experiencing Hopelessness and Depression (positiveprovocations.com)