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Really Know Yourself By Making a Date with Yourself

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Really Know Yourself By Making a Date with Yourself“Being alone can be the best healing medicine for the heart and soul.” ~ Z~

What happens to you when you are alone?

Do you feel lonely? Or do you use that time to reflect and get to know your Self better?

No matter how you choose to deal with alone time, there’s no need to feel lonely. Being on your own presents a wonderful opportunity to get in touch with your deeper Self.

Does Being Alone Mean You’re Lonely?

There is a vast difference between being alone and being lonely. The first is positive; it’s something we choose. The latter is an emotion that we attach to the fact of being alone. The truth is, you can be lonely even in a crowd of people and you can be alone and enjoy it very much – as long as you are connected and at peace with your Self.

It is NOT negative to be by yourself; in fact it could be considered a luxury if you can think of the time in positive terms.

When you are single, the holidays can be a time of angst. But how much of that feeling is brought on by commercials and store displays and how much is really in your heart? Don’t forget that you always have a choice and there’s no reason you couldn’t volunteer your time over the holidays helping others and making yourself feel good at the same time.

The Luxury of Alone Time

Have you considered alone time, for the luxury, it truly is? What if you unplugged for a while and used that opportunity to get in deeper touch with your Self?

How about using a few minutes, maybe an hour, a day, a week in quiet reflection, allowing yourself to really feel and respond to things that have happened without having to worry about what someone else might think?

When you are alone, you are given the ability to think through all sorts of things. You have the chance to reexamine situations and consider other responses you might have used. You can dream of the future and how you will change your life to fit into that ideal vision.

Whether you believe it or not: Your inner Self is a precious gift that you can choose to share with others. Why not cherish it?

Know Yourself By Making a Date with Yourself

If and when you have scheduled a doctor’s appointment, you keep it right? When you schedule coffee with your best friend, you work hard to make it a priority too, right?

So why not make yourself a priority and make a date with your Self?

  • Take the time to reflect.
  • Use the time to simply follow whatever whim you might have.
  • Be open to discovering something about yourself you might not have realized was there.
  • Give your Self permission to NOT live up to anyone’s else’s expectations for a little while and see how it feels.

Renewing and rejuvenating is what alone time can be. It can also bring you to the realization that your regular life isn’t quite as satisfying as you once thought. If you want to return to that period of time, when you could do whatever you wanted, use it as an indication of what your heart and soul – your deep Self – really wants to be doing in your everyday life. Chances are this is what agrees most with your core values. And honoring your core values results in happiness and fulfillment – every day.

Let your alone time be your priority – be your own best friend at least once a month (and more if you can!). Go ahead and try it and see what you find out about your Self. I just know you will rediscover passions you never knew you had.

Knowing yourself helps you to positively heal your past and move forward with success and confidence in your own abilities.

You know what I do in my alone time? I pray. I also go for a walk to the park and meditate. Many of my articles, posts and book ideas have surfaced during my alone time.

So, what are you going to do on a date with yourself? The possibilities are endless and the healing is limitless.

Now its YOUR turn: Do you spend time alone with yourself? How has it helped you? Share your thoughts in the comments below. 

With Immense Love & Gratitude,
~Zeenat~
Counseling Psychologist/ Spiritual Counselor
Motivational Speaker/Naturopath
Holistic Healer/Writer

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Author: Zeenat Merchant Syal

Counseling Psychologist/ Spiritual Counselor/Motivational Speaker/Naturopath/Holistic Healer/Writer

32 thoughts on “Really Know Yourself By Making a Date with Yourself

  1. I enjoy alone time every day thanks to working from home. And it is glorious because it gives me me-time by default. I find joy in everything I do.

    Thanks for a lovely post! Bless you, Zeenat. Hope you are fully recovered now! Hugs!

    • Hi Vidya,
      Youre lucky to work from home :) I work from a home office too…so the feeling is mutual. But my little one isnt quite so independent as yet…so the day is full of her. The only time I get to myself is early mornings :) which I make hte most of ofcourse ;)
      Thank you for your lovely thoughts here and for your love. Am recovered and all ready to GO!
      Much Love~

  2. I am quite like you there Zeenat!

    My alone time is my most productive time of the day too when I pray, meditate, go for my walks (if my hubby isn’t with me!), and that time I get the maximum post ideas. I truly enjoy those moments, and yes, they are the real positive moments you get to spend with your own self.

    Thanks for an inspiring post. :)

    • Hi Harleena,
      Oh getting my hubby out with me for a walk is a task in itself ;)
      But youre right, inspiration is at its all time high in those quiet times.
      So glad you enjoyed this post. Thank you for sharing your beautiful thoughts here.
      Much Love~

  3. Isn’t that the truth! I really admire this post as i’ve moved from a place where my thoughts and decisions were almost always based on other peoples opinions (Especially family). I’ve since had many dates with myself (Which i absolutely love now despite what others think) and i’m discovering so much about myself which allows me to evolve into this person i’ve always wanted to be. So thank you for the clarity Zeenat :)

    • Hi Manu,
      I get what youre saying….I was in that ‘do what everyone thinks is best’ phase too! Its such a relief to be out of that space and to be myself again. These times alone have been my own special self reflecting and healing times.
      I’m so happy you stopped by and shared your thoughts on this post. Thank you!
      Much Love~

  4. I share your sentiments. I have always valued solitude. Morning meditation, an hour’s running each day without conscious thinking or perhaps just gardening. the best demonstration of the value of allowing subconscious thoughts to surface is in the number of solutions to issues and challenges which come from such times and none moreso than when awakening at 4 in the morning with ideas and solutions.

    • Hi Joe,
      I admire your resolve to get up at 4am! I have tried many times…but I cant consistently wake at 4 am…due to my tight work schedule etc my sleep is most affected. But still when I’m UP and alone wow..the clarity is astounding. Gardening sounds like so much fun Joe. I actually do it with my little girl now..and she loves getting her hands dirty :)
      So lovely to read your awesome thoughts here. Thank you for that.
      Much Love~

  5. Wonderful perspective Z, I often spend and enjoy quiet time alone, but hadn’t thought of it as a date with my most precious self. Great way to reframe being single or alone time!
    thanks! Brad

    • I gather youre still single eh ;) Want me to set you up with YOURSELF? I can do that you know ;) But enjoy this introspective time Brad. Once you have a big family (soon) it will be an hour here and there. Every moment you spend with your self you get to rediscover so much of the world in you and around you.
      Thank you for your awesome comment here.
      Much love~

  6. HI. PLEASE SEND ME HANDBOOK.E BOOK AND DAILY DEVOTION. I’VE BEEN SUBSCRIBED FOR A YEAR AND UNABLE TO GET THESE.SANDRA KEETON 4334 CO.RD. 6 FLORENCE,AL 35633sandrarkeeton@comcast.net i send your provocations to the jail here and they love them and is helping them.what a blessing!!!! SEND OR EMAIL ME ANYTHING I CAN USE TO HELP THEM. YOU ARE SUCH A BLESSING!!!!!!

    • Dear Sandra,
      I have emailed you :)
      So lovely seeing you here.
      You are such a sweet soul to recognize goodness in everyone.
      Thank you for your kind words here.
      much Love~

  7. I LOVE MY ALONE TIME TO PRAY & MEDITATE & COUNT MY MANY BLESSINGS EACH & EVERY DAY. I’VE LEARNED TO ENJOY THE SIMPLER THINGS IN LIFE AND I’M SO MUCH MORE HAPPIER & AT PEACE WITH MY SELF.I ENJOY LIFE & CAN FACE AND HANDLE ANYTHING THAT COMES MY WAY IN THE RIGHT MANNER.I’M A HAPPY PEACEFUL,KIND LOVING CARING PERSON WHO LOVES EACH AND EVERY DAY AND IS REACHING OUT TO TRY MAKE OTHER PEOPLES LIVES THE SAME.GOD BLESS YOU!!!I’LL BE WAITING TO HEAR FROM YOU.

    • Youre an inspiration Sandra! And now that I know what you do for the inmates…I’m so happy to come in contact with you. May you keep spreading the love and positivity wherever you go.
      Sending you love~

  8. I ‘need’ time to myself every day Zeenat, it’s precious and priceless for my well being not to my expanding my consciousness, which, it turns out is equally important to my well being!

    Loved this dearest Zeenat.

    Love Elle
    xoxo

  9. I *love* this message, thank you!

    I spend lots of alone time daily…as well as lots of time with others. A wonderful balance. However, the best treat is one day every two weeks, I am completely by myself…no children or commitments..and I love to date myself…I got the idea from Julia Cameron’s “Artist Way”…I go for long beach walks or to an art museum or farmer’s market…sometimes even a movie…and I make something delicious that I love to eat and serve it with music and candles. It is a relatively new practice, within the last few years, and truly allows me to know myself well, and probably deepens the connection I have with others because I am fully present with them, because I am fulfilled and wish to be!

    • Darling Joy,
      I love how you emphasisze that both our alone and our people times should be in balance. Thank you for pointing that out :)
      I suppose we all need to let our creative selves out in the open by being on our own.
      Thank you for sharing your beautiful thoughts here.
      Much Love~

  10. Alone time certainly is a luxury – you’re not kiddin’! In my house, getting time to myself is a small miracle. But last week I started doing just what you said (though I didn’t call it a date…but I like that!) – Every Thursday morning before work, I’m gonna spend by myself, doing whatever I want/need to do. Last week it was writing and errands (boo to the errands!). This week, it’s going to be writing, reflecting, reading and relaxing.

    Whatever you do with your alone time is soo important, I think. Not only does it recharge you, but looking at *how* you spend your alone time can tell you a lot about yourself! I find that if I’m stuck, looking at my alone time can tell me what I need to do. Am I preferring to read? Maybe I need more input to get my output going. Or if I’m preferring to paint, write, etc, then maybe I need more expression!

    • Dear Kaylee,
      I say alone time is a luxury cause seriously I know how it is to be in a full house and have very little time to yourself. I think I appreciate my alone time more cause I have so little of it :)
      I love all the things you do with your alone time.
      So loved your comment here.
      Thank you for sharing your awesome self here.
      Much Love~

  11. I took myself to a movie today at the cheapie theater and saw Cirque du Soleil – Worlds Away. Loved it – it fed my creative soul.

    • Susan,
      What an awesome date with yourself you have had! I love taking myself to the movies too :)
      Thank you for stopping by and sharing your wonderful experience with us here.
      Much Love~

  12. Hi Zeenat,
    I definately spend alot of time by myself and don’t think anything of being by myself the whole week just doing my own thing, but I take the time to work towards my goals, meditate, find inspiration. In my past when I was by myself wasting time I felt bad and found it hard to be social when I did socialize. But now i’m on my own path doing something valuable with my time I feel great and I have no problems socializing confidently when I need to.

    -Ben

    • Hi Ben,
      Now thats a productive use of your alone time for sure!
      Working towards your goals requires passion….which you must have lots of :)
      Socializing is overrated…there needs to be a subtle balance between being with yourself and being with others. Its the alone times that makes our people time better.
      May all your times be just as productive.
      Thank you for sharing your amazing view here.
      Much Love~

  13. Zeenat – This is a post that hits my heart. I thrive on time to be with myself. When I have a day filled with meetings, even when i practice intent, I look forward to being at home – in solitude – even for only 30 minutes. For me, it’s a necessity. Thanks for a wonderful ‘New years post. xxoo-Fran

  14. Dear Zeenat,
    This is life saving advice. “We all need to digitally disconnect and enjoy some solitude every day to remain balanced. Disconnecting from technology to daydream, meditate, pray, chant, take a walk, ride a bike, stroll along a beach, watch a sunset or do absolutely nothing at all are effective stress reducers. They are life savers for me.” http://thistimethisspace.com/2013/01/05/does-solitude-have-a-place-in-your-life/#more-12370

  15. Super post. Thanks sister.
    and the best alone time is Tahajjud’s time.

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