“You cannot always control what goes on outside. But you can always control what goes on inside.” – Wayne Dyer
Have you ever felt like you want more out of your life? Ever felt like you have no control of whats happening around you? Then this is the article that will help you gain positive perspective.
If you want more in your life…thats ok and that’s a great place to start. It doesn’t matter if you are dissatisfied with your personal life, the career path you have taken, or something not as easily defined. When you make the decision to move forward in a different, more positive direction, it’s the first step that needs to be taken. The second step is to take control. If you are truly set on experiencing positive change, you must take control of the factors you can.
Positive Control- What CAN you really control?
In our day to day lives there are many many things we have no control over….like there is no way to predict how much traffic will be on the way to work or whether a friend will say or do something that will hurt us deeply. We can’t singlehandedly make the economy turn around and we can’t make gas prices change, no matter how much we complain. These are the things we have to deal with but can’t change on our own.
So what can YOU control????
YOU are able to control is how YOU deal with things that happen in your everyday life. We’ve all had one of “those days” when it seems that the entire world is against you. You know what I’m talking about: a day that starts with losing your phone only to find it in the desk drawer. This causes you to be late getting to work, followed by a call from the school telling you that your child is suffering from food poisoning…right when there is a super important meeting at work you need to be at. Top it all off with breakfast that burned while you were looking for your phone, the kids whining until you feel like screaming, and a phone call from your mother-in-law telling you she’s leaving her husband and coming to stay with you until she gets on her feet. Yikes!
Your first reaction might be to step outside to scream at the top of your lungs…but you hold it…take a few deep breaths. You draw a nice, hot bubble bath, sip on an entire mug of iced tea, and sit in your lukewarm bath to de-stress. Some days this really is the only way that you are able to take care of yourself! But what would happen if you took control instead?
What if you could view life as happening FOR you instead of TO you?
Lets Do Something About It – take control
“Taking control” means taking action; it’s not possible to take control of anything unless you are DOING instead of just TAKING.
In the bad day example above, a confident, well-grounded woman might thank her lucky stars for the opportunity to change. She might be reminded that one of her goals is to lose weight and chasing grumpy kids around the house gives her the ability to do that. Instead of looking at the food poisoning epidemic with disdain, view it as time away from work where she’s able to get to know her children better. While enjoying a staycation with the kids, she could meet someone at the doctor’s office who will help her start her own business(if thats what she wants). And having her mother-in-law move in for a while? Perhaps this will provide her with a built-in babysitter so she can take a college class a couple nights a week, or maybe, she can find a way to say “no” or at least put boundaries around the situation while still being the supportive daughter-in-law she wants to be.
By taking control of your responses to the situation, you are able to adjust your perspective, alleviate stress, and enable your creativity to kick in. With creativity, you can make your own destiny. It is up to you to decide how you are going to act – and react – to every situation. Sometimes you need a nudge in the right direction before you truly bring about a positive and lasting change in your life. And sometimes, that bubble bath – or listening to the kids scream in the highest register possible – is a great way to unwind, and find the space within to be in perspective about all that’s happened.
Now you might think “that my problems are far bigger than all she talks about in this article. How am I to take control of a problematic life full of hurdles?”
There is a positive way to look at your problems too. Think of every problem you have as a balloon you are holding on to. Naturally in due course of time, the balloons will either automatically burst or fly away one by one….leaving you with fewer and fewer balloons. Life, has a way of making problems naturally run its course. What seemed like ‘hell’ a few years back, now seems like ‘wow I went through that and survived’. What seems like todays ‘hell’ WILL be tomorrows ‘victory’.
Always remember, you may not be able to choose what happens in your life, but you are able to see what is happening FOR you or TO you. This simple positive shift in perspective can help you regain control of your life.
What are YOUR thoughts on this topic? What areas of your life do you feel are most out of control? Share your thoughts in the comments below. Let me help you take back Positive control of your life.
With Immense Love & Gratitude,
Counseling Psychologist/ Spiritual Counselor
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