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How to Just BE #HAPPY ~ 8 Positive Tips

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How to Just BE #HAPPY ~ 8 Positive TipsWhen we run after  happiness, it eludes us. But, when we realize and recognize that happiness is our soul’s natural state, all we need to do is eliminate all that comes between our happiness and US.

The pursuit of happiness is a kind of materialistic mantra of today’s world.

Materially, if we have a cycle, we want a scooter, if we have a scooter, we want a car. When we get a car, we want a bigger one. The list is endless.
And so is the pursuit.

Social Status wise, the moment we get a promotion, we begin running after the next one. A good pay raise is good only if nobody else has got a higher one. We are eying a separate cabin and privacy if the other guy has one. Again, the list is endless.
And so is the pursuit.

Emotionally and relationships wise, we evaluate successful relationships on the basis of how many visits, how many phone calls, how many invitations one gets and gives. We try to create a perfect family of always smiling people around us, and are disappointed if things are not picture perfect. Yet again, the list is endless.
And so is the pursuit.

Truth be told…the “pursuit of happiness” is a strange term. Like many phrases, we repeat it mechanically but it makes no sense whatsoever.

Happiness just IS! It is not an object or person that can be pursued.

In reality, this very phrase “the pursuit of happiness” is most often the seed of so much unhappiness.

As we continue to try to live a life of great material value, our happiness doesn’t seem to be increasing. The truth is, we find ourselves more discontented and unhappy. This pursuit of aquiring more, higher status, big image, and rewards has become the dominant part of our pursuit of happiness. Heart centric or non-material values like love, growth, caring, trust, respect in our relationships, and heart connections seem to have taken a backseat. We must realize the futility of pursuing simply material goals and then expecting the heart centric goals to work themselves out. When both pursuits are balanced, we can realistically look forward to a happier tomorrow.

I believe that happiness is not determined by what we have and own , but also by our knowledge, our life skills and our imagination: by being, not having. Compassion and co-operation are as important to achieving happiness as competition. And developing our minds could be the key to all of these changes.

Questions like ‘How do I know when I have enough?’, ‘How can I make sure others have their share too?’ and so on. We need to find a way to incorporate our hearts needs and goals into the very definition of what it means to be successful and happy.

We were meant to be ALWAYS Happy!

Its true that we are sometimes not too happy. We might be in circumstances we are not entirely comfortable with. However, this is no reason to stay unhappy. We have to find a solution to the issue. The problem is that very often, there is no real reason, and yet, we are filled with angst.

So, what should we do?
In this pursuing of happiness, we must remember that happiness is our natural state, our souls natural state. We were meant to be always happy. If we cant breathe properly, we would probably see a doctor. In a similar way, if we are not happy, particularly if we cannot understand any clear reason for our state of unhappiness, we should probably see what the doctors of the ‘soul’ have to say about our state. These doctors are available aplenty in life and in all wisdom traditions, be it in the form of folklore and stories, injunctions and guidelines for living and even religious scriptures….sources are endless.

How to Just Be HAPPY? ~ 8 Positive Tips

1} Be content with what you have:

Many simple people of India are tuned into the wisdom of contentment. “I earn enough to provide for my family. Isn’t this more than enough?” the auto-driver who brought me home, had responded when I asked him what he felt about the impending increase in auto fares. Having not taken a penny more than the meter fare, though I knew there had been a lot of delay due to the traffic jam, he said that it would be ‘haraam ki kamai’ (an illegal earning). “Every night I’m able to sleep peacefully” he said wisely. Hence, contentment is absolutely essential to remain happy no matter what your situation.

2} Be present in the current moment;

don’t dwell on the past or worry about the future

3} Cultivate compassion and empathy; try to contribute meaningfully to the happiness of others :

The fact that I am able to bring happiness to others makes me immensely happy. To me happiness has always been in giving and doing for others: my family, my friends…the help you can give, the smile you can share, the shoulder you can lend.Loud sing-alongs of children, people bustling about purposefully, and neighbours pitching in to help are everyday happenings…and everyday Happinesses.

As you move along, you reach the stage where you are able to reach out beyond your realm. You can be content with yourself within your world; share some of what you have, bring smiles on unknown faces and hope to those who have none. And strangely it is you who feels rewarded.

All Spiritual Masters have pointed out to us the wisdom of shifting the focus from oneself to the other to be truly happy. Albert Schweitzer said ages ago, “I don’t know what your destiny will be, but one thing I do know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who have sought and found how to serve.” Likewise, the Dalai Lama says today, “If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion.”

Compassion needs to blossom. For compassion to blossom you must empathize.

4} Don’t try too hard at be happy: 

You just simply have to accept the current moment for what it is.

5} Nurture relationships with love :

Many relationships break free of all bonds of convention and tradition, resting snugly in the purity of loving hearts.We should remember that our life is not defined by our job, our wealth, or possessions, but by our valuable relationships, which are our true assets. But, we also need to keep in mind that relationships can cause us pain, if combined with expectations. We should have the grace to accept that like life, relationships too go through several phases, each of which could make different demands on us. Acceptance and Love can make any relationship constantly happy.

6} Accept what life brings you:

Acceptance is often confused with fatalism, when actually, it is totally different. Acceptance is an appreciative look at what life still has to offer to us. IN complete acceptance lies the trigger to greater growth. This is true in serious issues as well as existential day-to-day ones. While most of us crib about our bad luck whenever something goes wrong, some enterprising souls choose to look at the brighter side. Essentially, as long as we fight with life, it seems to be an enemy to be conquered. The moment we befriend it, and go with it on its ups and downs, life becomes much easier, and we become much happier.

7} Explore your interests, rekindle your passions. Its never too late:

We have many gizmos, many options for entertainment today, but very often, these become yet another source of dissatisfaction or boredom. Why? Cause we miss the crucial factor for a complete life – passion. If we haven’t already done so, it is time to begin. Whatever our age, we can surely rediscover the spark that interests and inspires us.

8} Infuse Love:

Infuse Love in ALL that you do! While I do speak of love all the time…it still never tires me to say that LOVE can move mountains and conquer all fear. Do with love and feel how everyday, in everyway becomes pure happiness.

I remember the time I tried to chase a butterfly as a child. Try as I might, I could not hold it. When I gave up and started playing elsewhere, it came closer and sat on my shoulder. Such is the case with happiness.

It’s high time, then, that we move away from pursuing happiness to just being happy.

Now its your turn…What are the things in your life that keep you happy? Care to share your happiness in the comments below? :)

♥♥”Thank you SO much for reading! Please, Share this article on your favourite social networks. Every share, like or tweet makes me reach more people who need a positive healing nudge in their lives. I appreciate you!”♥♥

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With Immense Love & Gratitude,
~Zeenat~

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Author: Zeenat Merchant Syal

Counseling Psychologist/ Spiritual Counselor/Motivational Speaker/Naturopath/Holistic Healer/Writer

26 thoughts on “How to Just BE #HAPPY ~ 8 Positive Tips

  1. I agree with all you are saying. Cars and other objecs other people have and we desire, do not give happiness. I am happy to be abel to pay the bills to keep a roof over my head and have food to feed my family. We have only now, the moment we live in and be happy in. Love , kindness, compassion makes me happy. Thanks for another awesome post!

    • Hi Ute,
      Materialism can make us feel like we are acquiring happiness….but its not really happiness if you can simply buy it right ?!
      So glad you agree with my point of view here.
      Thank you for for lovely comment here.
      Much Love~

  2. oops sorry its twice, please delete one comment!

  3. Great tips Zeenat. Being content, developing compassion and helping others are great ways to create happiness as a by-product rather than chasing happiness. I wrote a related post on Chasing Happiness. http://writingtofreedom.wordpress.com/2013/05/22/chasing-happiness-away/. Blessings, Brad

  4. This is just so true, Zeenat! Happiness isn’t outside of ourselves. It’s a process of learning to tap into our natural state. But, when we tried too hard it just brings more tension and worry! It’s like learning to ride a bike. A little tricky at first, but we can do it! Thanks for these beautiful tips.

    • Hi Sandra,
      Tapping into our natural state becomes difficult because of all the negative conditioning that we have been brought up with….but although difficult, its well worth it.
      Thank you for sharing your beautiful thoughts here.
      Much Love~

  5. Hi Zeenat,

    Happiness is so subjective! The more you have, the more unhappy it makes us unless we tell ourselves… ‘I have enough’…The secret lies in understanding that happiness is a journey and the more comfortable it is, the more discontent it breeds!
    I think life itself introduces us to happiness. Ask a destitute what is happiness when he is adopted by a willing mother, ask a poor, hungry child what happiness is when he is offered a meal, ask the desperate, deprived girl when she gets an opportunity to go to a school. They will give you a big and warm smile and make you learn the essence of happiness…which no doubt lies in contentment, as you have rightly pointed out. I would say…count your blessings!!

    Thanks for reminding and reinforcing the concepts of positivity, we very conveniently forget despite all these blessings we were born with! Your beautiful and austere thoughts always inspire to think positive, even on those days of disappointments.

  6. These are the things we believe we know but never grasp the true meaning. Why do we think that it is about eating in a fancy restaurant and paying tons of money? Why can it not be simple as sharing a simple picnic in the park or break bread with friends? For a moment we love the ideas and the next we are back in the rat race. I think you are in a higher enlightenment than most of us.

    • Hi TCI!
      Its not about being higher in enlightenment…its more about being more in tune with yourself. When we realize happiness isnt a byproduct of something external….we will look within and find it.
      I hope and pray you can feel the happiness within.
      Thank you for sharing your lovely thoughts here. I appreciate you.
      Much Love~

  7. Wonderful advice! Happiness is not outside ourselves; it is found within. It is a place of contentment and gratitude.
    Blessings!

  8. So true…we’re always chasing this invisible butterfly of happiness but only when we stop chasing it and start enjoying the moment of natural beauty around us that the butterfly comes and sits quietly on our shoulder!

  9. Such great advice Zeenat! Thanks for uplifting and inspiring me!

  10. It is perfect time to make some plaqns for the future annd it’s time too be happy.
    I hazve read this post and if I could I desire to
    suggest you few interesting things or suggestions. Maybe you can write next articles referring to this
    article. I wabt to read even more things about it!

    • HI Gita,
      Your wish is my command. I will definitely write more on this topic….but if you wish to read more, you can look through the older articles here on the blog….almost 4oo posts for you to choose from :) There are so many on happiness…I’m sure it will keep you busy for a while :)
      Thank you for the great suggestion and for your comment here.
      Much Love~

  11. I love the way you view this “pursuit of happiness” and I agree … one can’t pursue it . Your tips on just being happy are great. Am keeping them close to my heart so I practice them everyday. thanks

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