Tag Archives: therapy

How to find the Healing Happiness in Cooking

“A good cook is like a sorceress who dispenses happiness.” ~ Elsa Schiaparelli

Cooking heals. Cooking can soothe jangled nerves, heal broken hearts and cure boredom, insomnia and anxiety.

Cooking is therapy and, fattening or not, it’s effective.

It worked for Julie Powell, who set out to whip up every recipe in legendary chef Julia Child’s cookbook when she felt stymied by her own problems. The blog and book that resulted, “Julie & Julia,” are portrayed in a must see film starring Meryl Streep and Amy Adams. I highly recommend watching it. Continue reading →

How to Open Your Heart to Warmth ~ Raoka

“May you have warmth in your igloo, oil in your lamp, and peace in your heart” Eskimo Proverb

Having grown up in a desert (muscat) all my life, I was never a fan of the warm temperatures there, that could literally burn your skin and make you dehydrated in a matter of seconds. Sun block and Sun glasses weren’t optional there, they were a necessity. But now, after some traveling and being around the cold wintry places of the world, including where I stay now, I kind of have come to appreciate the warm temperatures and the sun. Just goes to show this past winter was really chilly in this part of the world, more than I was ever used to before. Continue reading →

How NOT to Panic-The Wallet Incident

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Last night My Hubby came home from an out of town trip. Ok so what’s the not to panic part about this?? I’ll tell you what…this morning when we were unpacking, his wallet wasn’t to be seen anywhere! I actually started freaking out, considering all the worst possible scenarios. Firstly, what was in that wallet??Credit cards, Debit cards, Identity card, Pan card among other paper work. No money thank god..Cause during the trip he kept the money in another pocket.

Irrespective of that..i started telling him…what’s wrong with you..why cant you be more careful? What if whoever found it uses your credit cards..oh god oh god…etc etc…you know us nagging wives!!! To which he gave an explanation (poor thing), that it probably got snipped during his journey..Cause he was sure he had it on him. But I couldn’t stop freaking out but, well he was surprisingly calm. Hmm..I wonder why???

After I finished my panicking (nearly 10 minutes) ..i started thinking..we can always handle this situation. There has got to be a solution to this…and then I panic again…seeing which my darling hubby says, “don’t worry! I will handle it. I needed new cards anyway..the other ones were getting too old. And I will make a stay on them as well so no one can use them. The paper work wasn’t that necessary. I will have it replaced.” …and he went on about how it was all ok. All the time he was explaining I was getting calmer and calmer and finally I was totally fine.

When I was sitting and thinking about the whole situation, I realized that my hubby was just reinforcing what I keep saying to myself and to others…to think positively in all situations or rather to see the positives in all situations. And the best part was that before I could start thinking positively he already had the solution to the problem. Smarty Pants Hubby!! This in turn made me stop panicking. Hmm…now I know why he was so calm? He already had a solution to the problem.

So bottom line before you start panicking about any given situation, first think of a solution to the problem and then well, you won’t even need to panic.

Have any of you ever had any panicky situations recently? Let me know how you handled them. I might learn a thing or two. Do leave a comment so I know…

I am still Positively Learning :)   Are you?

(Thank you Hubby dearest, I don’t know what I would do without you around to straighten me out! You make me learn something new everyday.)


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See The Positives In All Situations

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{Total Read Time- 7 mins.}

Avoid negative thoughts of powerlessness, dejection, failure, and despair. Chronic stress make us vulnerable to negative suggestion. Learn to focus on positives.
  • Focus on your strengths

  • Learn from the stress you are under

  • Look for opportunities in the stressful situation

  • Seek out the positive – make a change

Here is one way to get out of the destructive negative thinking habits. All possible situations we face can be classified into two categories:

One: Situations where we can do something about to change the outcome.

In this case, don’t just sit there and worry about it. Go ahead and take care of it. You have control. Procrastination is the root cause for many stressful episodes.

Second: Situations where you have no control on the outcome.

In this case sitting and worrying will not make any difference on the outcome. So, don’t worry about it. Let the situation resolve by itself; you cannot do anything about this anyway.

When all seems to be doom and gloom, there are still positive possibilities; you just have to look for them. Too often, we only focus on the negatives.

Learn to look at every difficult situation as a present; the gift within is the possibilities it holds. To open the gift you must find the “possibility.”

When you are in a difficult or a stressful situation, reflect on the following four questions:

1) Could it be worse?
2) Are there lessons I can learn to avoid a similar situation in the future?
3) What good can be realized?
4) What am I going to do about it?

COULD IT BE WORSE?

In the majority of cases, there is always a worse situation we could be in. By reflecting on a worse situation, it helps put the current situation into perspective.

ARE THERE LESSONS I CAN LEARN TO AVOID A SIMILAR SITUATION IN THE FUTURE?

Look at the situation. Could it have been avoided? Don’t go beating yourself up for not realizing this previously. Learn from the situation. Mistakes are our greatest teachers! No sense dwelling on the issue. Recognize and think of ways for the future to avoid a similar situation and then move on! Remember you can’t change the past, but you can change the future!

WHAT GOOD CAN BE REALIZED?

This is the gift. Rather than focusing our energy and thoughts on the negative of the situation, look for the positive. Sometimes you have to look hard, sometimes you don’t even realize until later. But in every situation, there is positive, you just have to find it! By focusing on the positive you are helping to reduce your stress levels!

WHAT AM I GOING TO DO ABOUT IT?

In my opinion, this is the most critical! What are you going to do? Often just by taking action, by doing something about the situation we can relieve the stress and help correct the situation.

Here are a couple of real life examples:

Example 1 -You have lost your job.

*Could it be worse? You bet. You could have lost your health and without your health you could not obtain any type of work.

*Are there lessons you could learn? Depending on the circumstances, absolutely. Did you bring value to your company, (suggesting ways to improve company profits, continuing your education, etc) or, did you see the situation coming but did nothing to further yourself, such as looking for other employment.

*What good can be realized? You can look for a job in an area that you have an interest in where you may find a better opportunity.

*What am I going to do? Start looking for another job!

Example 2 – I don’t have enough money to buy Christmas/Eid/Diwali… presents.

*Could it be worse? You bet! You could not have enough money to pay your rent/mortgage.

*Are there lessons you could learn? Possibly. Could you have started your shopping earlier taking advantage of sales; could you have made your own gifts; etc?

*What good can be realized? Look around you and be thankful for what you have, appreciate life. Sometimes a note to someone just telling them what they have meant in your life is worth more than anything money could buy. Great suggestions you say, but what if the gifts are for my children – they don’t want a note. In these cases, ask for help from very close family or friends. There are times in all of our lives we need help from others. I truly believe what comes around, goes around. The day will come when your circumstances will be better and you will be able to help a family.OR Go and make something sweet for your kids. Its cheap and holds so much value when its made out of love. The point is there is always a positive solution, we just have to look for it.

*What am I going to do? Rather than sit and feel sorry for yourself, take action, either write that letter, ask for help! OR go ahead and make those gifts!

Example 3 – A simple everyday example is a situation I found myself in last week. I was behind in my work, major work were overdue. I was creating stress for myself just thinking about everything I had to accomplish. I stopped for two minutes and asked myself the four questions:

*Could it be worse? Yes, I could have no job, no income

*Are there lessons I could learn? Yes, I need to set more realistic deadlines, and employ better time management skills.

*What good can be realized? The realization that I was overwhelming myself to the point I was wasting time. Rather than thinking about it, and shuffling the paper from one pile to the next, if I broke the projects down and focused on the smaller task I could have them done by the end of the week.

*What am I going to do? I prioritized and started working with a focus, rather than an overwhelming feeling.

The key to moving on is forgiveness–of self and others. Although it is a waste of energy to worry about future events over which we have no control, it is human nature to do so. Plan and prioritize as best you can, and then be easy on yourself. The future hasn’t happened, and the past is not going to happen again. In the words, “Be here now.” You can start by recognizing and accepting when a situation is beyond your control.

If you focus on the possible positives when you experience difficult situations, YOU CAN positively change your outlook, reduce your stress, and concentrate on achieving things that otherwise may not have been possible.

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Depression..the painful truth!

Knowing and realising you have depression are the foremost problem.

Depression is very difficult to get rid of without therapy.

Feeling down from time to time is a normal part of life. But when emptiness and despair take hold and won’t go away, it may be depression. More than just the temporary “blues,” the lows of depression make it tough to function and enjoy life like you once did. Hobbies and friends don’t interest you like they used to; you’re exhausted all the time; and just getting through the day can be overwhelming. When you’re depressed, things may feel hopeless, but with help and support you can get better. But first, you need to understand depression. Learning about depression — including its signs, symptoms, causes, and treatment — is the first step to overcoming the problem.

Signs and symptoms of depression

Depression varies from person to person, but there are some common signs and symptoms. It’s important to remember that these symptoms can be part of life’s normal lows. But the more symptoms you have, the stronger they are, and the longer they’ve lasted — the more likely it is that you’re dealing with depression. When these symptoms are overwhelming and disabling, that’s when it’s time to seek help.

Common signs and symptoms of depression

  • Feelings of helplessness and hopelessness. A bleak outlook—nothing will ever get better and there’s nothing you can do to improve your situation.
  • Loss of interest in daily activities. No interest in or ability to enjoy former hobbies, pastimes, social activities, or sex.
  • Appetite or weight changes. Significant weight loss or weight gain—a change of more than 5% of body weight in a month.
  • Sleep changes. Either insomnia, especially waking in the early hours of the morning, or oversleeping (also known as hypersomnia).
  • Psychomotor agitation or retardation. Either feeling “keyed up” and restless or sluggish and physically slowed down.
  • Loss of energy. Feeling fatigued and physically drained. Even small tasks are exhausting or take longer.
  • Self-loathing. Strong feelings of worthlessness or guilt. Harsh criticism of perceived faults and mistakes.
  • Concentration problems. Trouble focusing, making decisions, or remembering things.

Depression and suicide

Depression is a major risk factor for suicide. The deep despair and hopelessness that goes along with depression can make suicide feel like the only way to escape the pain.

Thoughts of death or suicide: A serious symptom of depression

A suicidal person may not ask for help, but that doesn’t mean that help isn’t wanted. Most people who are suicidal don’t want to die — they just want to stop hurting. Take any suicidal talk or behavior seriously. It’s not just a warning sign that the person is thinking about suicide: it’s a cry for help.
If you think a friend or family member is considering suicide, you might be afraid to bring up the subject. But talking openly about suicidal thoughts and feelings can save a life. Speak up if you’re concerned and seek professional help immediately! Suicide prevention starts with recognizing the warning signs and taking action.

Depression causes and risk factors

Some illnesses have a specific medical cause, making treatment straightforward. If you have diabetes, you take insulin. If you have appendicitis, you have surgery. But depression is more complicated. Depression is not just the result of a chemical imbalance in the brain, and is not simply cured with medication. Experts believe that depression is caused by a combination of biological, psychological, and social factors. In other words, your lifestyle choices, relationships, and coping skills matter just as much — if not more so — than genetics. However, certain risk factors make you more vulnerable to depression.

Causes and risk factors for depression

  • Loneliness
  • Lack of social support
  • Recent stressful life experiences
  • Family history of depression
  • Marital or relationship problems
  • Financial strain
  • Early childhood trauma or abuse
  • Alcohol or drug abuse
  • Unemployment or underemployment
  • Health problems or chronic pain

The cause of your depression determines the treatment

Understanding the underlying cause of your depression may help you overcome the problem. For example, if you are depressed because of a dead end job, the best treatment might be finding a more satisfying career, not taking an antidepressant. If you are new to an area and feeling lonely and sad, finding new friends at work or through a hobby will probably give you more of a mood boost than going to therapy. In such cases, the depression is remedied by changing the situation.

The road to depression recovery

Just as the symptoms and causes of depression are different in different people, so are the ways to feel better. What works for one person might not work for another, and no one treatment is appropriate in all cases. If you recognize the signs of depression in yourself or a loved one, take some time to explore the many treatment options. In most cases, the best approach involves a combination of self-help strategies, lifestyle changes, and professional help.

Ask for help and support

Ask for help and supportIf even the thought of tackling your depression seems overwhelming, don’t panic. Feeling helpless and hopeless is a symptom of depression—not the reality of your situation. It does not mean that you’re weak or you can’t change! The key to depression recovery is to start small and ask for help. Having a strong support system in place will speed your recovery. Isolation fuels depression, so reach out to others, even when you feel like being alone. Let your family and friends know what you’re going through and how they can support you.

Make healthy lifestyle changes

Lifestyle changes are not always easy to make, but they can have a big impact on depression. Take a good look at your own lifestyle. What changes could you make to support depression recovery?  Self-help strategies that can be very effective include:

  • Cultivating supportive relationships
  • Getting regular exercise and sleep
  • Eating a healthy, mood-boosting diet
  • Managing stress
  • Practicing relaxation techniques
  • Challenging negative thought patterns

Seek professional help

If positive lifestyle changes and support from family and friends aren’t enough, seek help from a mental health professional. There are many effective treatments for depression, including therapy, medication, and alternative treatments. Learning about your options will help you decide what measures are most likely to work best for your particular situation and needs.

Effective treatment for depression often includes some form of therapy. Therapy gives you tools to treat depression from a variety of angles. What’s more, what you learn in therapy gives you skills and insight to prevent depression from coming back.

Some types of therapy teach you practical techniques on how to reframe negative thinking and employ behavioral skills in combating depression. Therapy can also help you work through the root of your depression, helping you understand why you feel a certain way, what your triggers are for depression, and what you can do to stay healthy.

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