Unavailable Partners ~ Why we choose them & what’s the solution

“All relationships are a reflection of our relationship to ourself.” ~ Deepak Chopra

We all have been in relationships or are in relationships or are looking for a relationship. The partners we choose to fall in love with and to spend our lives with directly affect our state of happiness for the long haul.

Our life is then entwined and blended with this partner. Be it building a life, a home, a family etc. Its all part of the growth that happens with this partner by our side.

But what happens when who we choose for ourselves, doesn’t exactly make us feel loved Or makes our life difficult and painful. What if they are not who we thought?

One question I get asked a lot in therapy sessions is, “But why did I then choose such a partner who was not going to be a source of happiness for me? And why did he/she choose me?”

From the get go, please know that relationships are complicated and simple all at the same time. Complicated when they don’t work easily and Simple when they do. The LOVE is what keeps most people together even if the partnership is complicated.

As evolving souls, who are trying to attain spiritual growth, we choose to practice radical authenticity and honesty with ourselves about our relational patterns and needs. In that realm of honesty, unavailable partners are no longer attractive or a viable option. But, even though they are not an option, we still tend to choose them. Why?

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6 Self Healing Promises for a Happier 2022

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“Promises are the uniquely human way of ordering the future, making it predictable and reliable to the extent that this is humanly possible.” ~ Hannah Arendt

2021 was really something! I know it was one of those years when everything ebbed and flowed. More ebb less flow. The highs were too short lived and the lows were long and drawn. Not too different from the 2020 pandemic energy that went by the year before, but atleast this year it looked like we were sort of coming back to some sembelence of normalcy. Right now though a new phase of the pandemic is coming forth. Another learning curve for us all. That’s the beauty of all these new phases, if we are open to them, we come out wiser.

I have also been thinking of the year gone in terms of achievements, high points, low points, successes, failures, learning points etc. Introspection and a constant need to be a better more evolved human(e) being makes me think of the year that’s gone by in a learning light.

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4 Ways of Calming Life’s Chaos

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“It’s all about finding the calm in the chaos.” ~ Donna Karan

Life is So rich, so stimulating, so amazing! I love how life thrives in me and around me. There are opportunities and activities going on everywhere around me and I feel like a kid at a carnival, wondering which game to play first. Its an amazing feeling to be immersed in the wide tapestry of life and enjoy its colors fully. There is wonder and awe everywhere if we choose to see it that way.

But, while life can be full of all things amazing, it can also be full of unmanageable tension when our mind is going so many places at once. That’s inner chaos for you. On the outside, it all feels doable, approachable, delicious even…but on the inside there is indecisiveness, stress, anxiety and tension.

Sounds familiar?

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