“Year’s end is neither an end nor a beginning but a going on, with all the wisdom that experience can instill in us.” ~ Hal Borland
2022, the year when the world started getting back to normal after the pandemic. The collective human consciousness was in a state of lets go back to normal mode. Everyone wanted to live like they lived pre-pandemic. This was that year when we all made ourselves believe it was almost back to normal. But really, was it? Or rather, is it back to normal?
Normal, I think is totally overrated. When were we all totally normal anyway? But the human mind likes to feel like it can recreate a familiar space, because it needs to feel safe.
“As you think, you travel, and as you love, you attract. You are today where, your thoughts have brought you; you will be tomorrow where your thoughts take you.” ~ James Lane Allen
We know that our thoughts create our reality, but it blows my mind to think that everything I did or thought for all those years has brought me to this very moment in my life where I am writing this article for you. The gravity of it all hit me when I read the above quote by James Allen.
“All relationships are a reflection of our relationship to ourself.” ~ Deepak Chopra
We all have been in relationships or are in relationships or are looking for a relationship. The partners we choose to fall in love with and to spend our lives with directly affect our state of happiness for the long haul.
Our life is then entwined and blended with this partner. Be it building a life, a home, a family etc. Its all part of the growth that happens with this partner by our side.
But what happens when who we choose for ourselves, doesn’t exactly make us feel loved Or makes our life difficult and painful. What if they are not who we thought?
One question I get asked a lot in therapy sessions is, “But why did I then choose such a partner who was not going to be a source of happiness for me? And why did he/she choose me?”
From the get go, please know that relationships are complicated and simple all at the same time. Complicated when they don’t work easily and Simple when they do. The LOVE is what keeps most people together even if the partnership is complicated.
As evolving souls, who are trying to attain spiritual growth, we choose to practice radical authenticity and honesty with ourselves about our relational patterns and needs. In that realm of honesty, unavailable partners are no longer attractive or a viable option. But, even though they are not an option, we still tend to choose them. Why?