“The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and to let it come in.” ~ Morrie Schwartz
Whether we like to admit it or not, the relationships in our life are usually the biggest source of happiness or pain.
We all strive to build deeper and more meaningful connections with the people in our lives. When we care, we want to know more of what other people are feeling and thinking, wanting and planning. To do this gently and positively, we need to use positive questions that “open” people up instead of “closing” them off.
“All relationships are a reflection of our relationship to ourself.” ~ Deepak Chopra
We all have been in relationships or are in relationships or are looking for a relationship. The partners we choose to fall in love with and to spend our lives with directly affect our state of happiness for the long haul.
Our life is then entwined and blended with this partner. Be it building a life, a home, a family etc. Its all part of the growth that happens with this partner by our side.
But what happens when who we choose for ourselves, doesn’t exactly make us feel loved Or makes our life difficult and painful. What if they are not who we thought?
One question I get asked a lot in therapy sessions is, “But why did I then choose such a partner who was not going to be a source of happiness for me? And why did he/she choose me?”
From the get go, please know that relationships are complicated and simple all at the same time. Complicated when they don’t work easily and Simple when they do. The LOVE is what keeps most people together even if the partnership is complicated.
As evolving souls, who are trying to attain spiritual growth, we choose to practice radical authenticity and honesty with ourselves about our relational patterns and needs. In that realm of honesty, unavailable partners are no longer attractive or a viable option. But, even though they are not an option, we still tend to choose them. Why?
“The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of those depths.” ~Elisabeth Kubler-Ross
Grief is the emotional distress we experience followed by a significant loss. It is all part of the human experience – similar to many other emotions, it exists across beliefs systems, cultures, races, and languages. However, it may differ in how it is expressed, in terms of intensity, duration, your own life experiences, etc.
Most often, grief is associated with the death of a loved one. This type of grief doesn’t only lead to a state of deep mourning for the deceased soul, but also the significant life changes, because of the loss. So in other words its also a loss of a life that was planned.
Although this form of grief is arguably the most painful, individuals experience grief in response to losses that may not be due to death. In this article I wanted to highlight what these losses may look like. And please know that we all, at some point(me included) have faced these levels of grief. Like I said before, all part of the human experience.