6 Signs You are Stuck in a People-Pleasing cycle& How to Heal from it

“Care about what other people think and you will always be their prisoner. ~ Lao Tzu

People-pleasing is a common coping mechanism humans use to fit in to their surroundings. Most of the time we develop the habit of people pleasing because of our need to protect ourselves from negative emotions. It shows up in a pattern of behaviours that, on the surface, make us seem ‘nice, sweet, flexible, very understanding and agreeable’.

Confession: I am a reforming people-pleaser myself. So, I know first hand that Empaths and Sensitive souls suffer from people-pleasing the most.

While being kind and helpful is generally a good thing, going too far to please others can leave you feeling emotionally depleted, stressed, and anxious.

We really want people’s approval and to stay in their good books, which often results in us neglecting or not even being aware of our own needs.

Because of our need to please others, we struggle to set boundaries and tend to overcommit, leading to overwhelm, anxiety and burnout.

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How to Stay True to Your Soul?

When you feel overwhelmed and the world is loud, you will find the most peace when you are able to stay true to your soul and are living in alignment with your higher self.

Why?

Because thoughts and actions taken outside of this place will always end up in the negative energy, thereby depleting you of your life force. You betray yourself when you are not in alignment with your soul, and that’s why you feel so bad.

Staying true to your soul means…

Staying true to your soul means honoring and accepting what you know to be true for you. It is what lights you up, and facilitates your to follow your bliss.

It means not defining yourself by….what your friends, parents, partners, acquaintances, the media, or any other outside influence says about you.

Why? Because they don’t really know you. Honestly, they can’t know you. Only your higher self fully knows whats in your heart.

Your mind on the other hand is not to be trusted.

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The “stop, breathe, reflect” technique to Calm Overthinking

“Put your thoughts to sleep. Do not let them cast a shadow over the moon of your heart. Let go of thinking.”~ Rumi

Do you find yourself in the overthinking mode sometimes?

Overthinking is when someone thinks about one thing again and again in a mind numbing loop.

When overwhelm kicks in, the mind automatically goes into overthinking mode. Our mind has a built in fight or flight mechanism to protect us from danger. So some level of thinking, problem solving mentally is a natural response. But when it takes over your life, and all waking moments are full of overwhelm, thats when we need to reevaluate what is normal.

It’s in this overwhelming mode, that very detrimental life decisions are made, because the mind is so tired of overthinking, it often settles on the wrong solution. This is the reason all decisions should be made with a calm mind, not an overthinking one.

Overthinking might be a result of underlying anxiety, which can trigger overthinking at any time, and this is often out of anyone’s control.

The trigger can’t be controlled, but the response certainly can.

Excessive overthinking can affect our levels of happiness, our relationships, and our entire lives.

Use this exercise to calm your mind anytime you start overthinking:

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