marriage – *Positive Provocations*

“All relationships are a reflection of our relationship to ourself.” ~ Deepak Chopra

We all have been in relationships or are in relationships or are looking for a relationship. The partners we choose to fall in love with and to spend our lives with directly affect our state of happiness for the long haul.

Our life is then entwined and blended with this partner. Be it building a life, a home, a family etc. Its all part of the growth that happens with this partner by our side.

But what happens when who we choose for ourselves, doesn’t exactly make us feel loved Or makes our life difficult and painful. What if they are not who we thought?

One question I get asked a lot in therapy sessions is, “But why did I then choose such a partner who was not going to be a source of happiness for me? And why did he/she choose me?”

From the get go, please know that relationships are complicated and simple all at the same time. Complicated when they don’t work easily and Simple when they do. The LOVE is what keeps most people together even if the partnership is complicated.

As evolving souls, who are trying to attain spiritual growth, we choose to practice radical authenticity and honesty with ourselves about our relational patterns and needs. In that realm of honesty, unavailable partners are no longer attractive or a viable option. But, even though they are not an option, we still tend to choose them. Why?

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“Let your love be like the misty rains, coming softly, but flooding the river.” ~Malagasy Proverb

Relationship status: Complicated, is what gets seen around more and more on social media these days. When we think of relationships, immediately the word “complicated” seems to get formed in our minds. I recently met a friend after a really long hiatus, and when I asked her how things were going with her Husband…all she could say was “let it be, it’s complicated…”. Just to clarify, this is the one person who was the most open about everything in her life, and couldn’t keep a secret even if it meant earning millions from it. If she could just not talk about something, it meant it was something huge. I probed a bit further, and after much ado she went on to say, “the spark is gone. its no longer the same as it was in the beginning. He doesn’t notice me or have long conversations with me. I don’t know what to do. I just go about my day and work as if nothing has happened. What else can I do? I cant become 21 again na…!”

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