6 Signs You are Stuck in a People-Pleasing cycle& How to Heal from it

“Care about what other people think and you will always be their prisoner. ~ Lao Tzu

People-pleasing is a common coping mechanism humans use to fit in to their surroundings. Most of the time we develop the habit of people pleasing because of our need to protect ourselves from negative emotions. It shows up in a pattern of behaviours that, on the surface, make us seem ‘nice, sweet, flexible, very understanding and agreeable’.

Confession: I am a reforming people-pleaser myself. So, I know first hand that Empaths and Sensitive souls suffer from people-pleasing the most.

While being kind and helpful is generally a good thing, going too far to please others can leave you feeling emotionally depleted, stressed, and anxious.

We really want people’s approval and to stay in their good books, which often results in us neglecting or not even being aware of our own needs.

Because of our need to please others, we struggle to set boundaries and tend to overcommit, leading to overwhelm, anxiety and burnout.

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The “stop, breathe, reflect” technique to Calm Overthinking

“Put your thoughts to sleep. Do not let them cast a shadow over the moon of your heart. Let go of thinking.”~ Rumi

Do you find yourself in the overthinking mode sometimes?

Overthinking is when someone thinks about one thing again and again in a mind numbing loop.

When overwhelm kicks in, the mind automatically goes into overthinking mode. Our mind has a built in fight or flight mechanism to protect us from danger. So some level of thinking, problem solving mentally is a natural response. But when it takes over your life, and all waking moments are full of overwhelm, thats when we need to reevaluate what is normal.

It’s in this overwhelming mode, that very detrimental life decisions are made, because the mind is so tired of overthinking, it often settles on the wrong solution. This is the reason all decisions should be made with a calm mind, not an overthinking one.

Overthinking might be a result of underlying anxiety, which can trigger overthinking at any time, and this is often out of anyone’s control.

The trigger can’t be controlled, but the response certainly can.

Excessive overthinking can affect our levels of happiness, our relationships, and our entire lives.

Use this exercise to calm your mind anytime you start overthinking:

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How to calm down quickly when you’re feeling stressed ~ 6 tools

“Stress is not what happens to us. It’s our response to what happens and response is something we can choose.” ~ Maureen Killoran

Today, is world mental health day, 10th October. The theme for this year is “Mental health is a universal human right“. The premise behind this theme is to improve knowledge, raise awareness and drive actions that promote and protect everyone’s mental health as a universal and basic human right.

Keeping that in mind, today’s article is about how you can understand and heal from stress.

More than two-thirds of visits to the doctors or surgeries are for stress-related illnesses.

Stress has been linked to headaches, backaches, insomnia, anger, cramps, elevated blood pressure, chronic fatigue syndrome, fibromyalgia and lowered resistance to infection.

For women, stress is a key factor in hormonal imbalances resulting in menstrual irregularities, PMS, fibroids, endometriosis and fertility problems.

Stress can also be a factor in the development of almost all disease states, including cancer and heart disease; the leading cause of death in men & women.

This happens when we put all our energy into only one or two areas of our life (usually work) and ignore the rest.

Continue reading “How to calm down quickly when you’re feeling stressed ~ 6 tools”