The Decision To Be You

“It’s choice – not chance – that determines your destiny.”~Jean Nidetch~

I remember when I was about 8 years old and loved playing with my barbie doll sets, if anyone asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up, I said a Barbie doll. And why? Because my Barbie has such beautiful things. Then when I was 12 yrs old, I was crazy about painting and wanted to be a Painter. At 13 it was an astronaut, at 15 it was a teacher, at 16 it was a doctor and at 18 well I just wanted to be left the hell alone!!

The point to all this is, we are constantly asked by everyone around-What do you want to be when you grow up???At that time when we were asked that we were naive, young and inexperienced individuals. We were still searching for answers and trying to figure out life. But, we still had an answer. However bizarre it was, the answer was there. We would actually announce it with full confidence even!! It was a decision we made with our heart. Something we were passionate about.

Where has that confidence and passion gone Today? Do we still know what we want to be when we grow up, now that we have already grown up?

I have met many individuals who are still in clue clue land. I was there too, clue clue land isn’t a very nice place to be for too long. You lose sight of who you are and cant make any rational decisions. Its like the world has taken over you, and you have let them. I remember being in a state where whatever anybody told me I would blindly agree with. I had so totally lost my own mind, that really finding that mind again seemed like it was never really there. It seemed impossible to me that my life was not my own. It was more like I preferred being in this clue clue land. Yes, and I stayed in that state for nearly two years.

It was a traumatic experience that knocked my head and heart so strongly, that in an instant clarity of thought took over. That instant didnt last very long. The worlds mind and clue clue land kept trying to take it over. And that instant was just about to be lost into oblivion, when I thought for myself and caught a hold of that instant. That instant was my soul realization. It was a good feeling with dire consequences. Again the world was taking over, with all the society pressures and what everyone will think….

But, the trauma was so strong and the scar of that hurt so deep in my heart, that I decided to go with my soul realization. As I looked ahead, the path seemed very bumpy full of mountains and pitfalls. But, I was taking charge of my life, and there is no better feeling than that. From the worlds point of view I was a stupid fool, but from my souls point of view I was Happy. Imagine that…all that turmoil and I could actually be happy!!! But it was MY decision for once in my adult life it was My decision. This was a decision that was taken without any pressures. It was empowering and consoling all at the same time.

Yes, my journey after that wasn’t a bed of roses. It wasn’t pretty. But it was and it still is my beautiful journey to take and learn from. Its my life today and I am Happy I take my own decisions. The ones that my heart and soul are happy with. The ones that make my world and the people who are attached with me happy.

Whatever or wherever you are now….is it your decision and yours alone?? The world has this nasty way of getting to you and taking over your mind, heart and soul. The irony of it is you wont even know it. You will be so oblivious of it, that even at the age of 60 or 70 when you have grandchildren, you will still be doing what everyone else wants you to do.
I have seen individuals who are like that. Who are still so oblivious to their own potential. Who are still living a life that’s not even vaguely close to what their hearts desires.

Trauma lead me to make the decision to get out of the clue clue land trap.

When are you going to make the choice, that your heart and soul  desires? The decision that will set you free. The decision that will make your spirit fly. The decision to be YOU!!!

with love Zeenat

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45 thoughts on “The Decision To Be You

  1. This is great stuff, Z! I recently rescued myself from my own “clue clue land”, and it’s so liberating. I still have some problems thinking for myself sometimes, I am especially vulnerable to trying to live up to the expectations that others have of me…what they want me to do, who they want me to be, but I am learning slowly to be myself…and nobody else. Posts like this one help clarify where I want to be, so thank you for writing this!

    1. Hi Jay,
      Liberating is the perfect word for getting out of clue clue land 🙂 Its a process Jay…I have that pull many a times …you know the pull that says just go with the flow…why bother being unique and different……But, I have to constantly remind myself…we all have a unique set of finger prints…Noone is the same and thats how God intended it to be. So, I am better of being different…God knows best 🙂

  2. Loved this, Zeenat. I’m pretty sure that I was the Queen of Clue Clue Land a few years ago. The fear of letting people see the ‘real’ me kept me there. Now the fear of going back to clue clue land keeps me ‘real’. I still struggle with being me at times, however. It is amazing what fear can get me to do. I’m so glad I read this today. I need to have a conversation with a teacher today, and this will help me remember to stand my ground and speak my truth. Thank you.

    1. Jill believe me….we were all queens in our own right in the clue clue land…thank god we are all out of it…Give me pots and pots of gold..and i will still never ever be Queen in that land again. I do steer at the gated of clue clue land many times…but catch myself before the gate opens up.
      I am glad this helped you. Atleast now i know….I’m not the only visitor of clue clue land 😉

  3. It is by trauma that most of the times we realize our real potential. My story is no different. And I bet this is everybody’s story. Staying for too long in the comfort zone, staying away from confrontation, walking in somebody else’s shoes, all these avoiding strategies are practically forcing the destiny to shake us. The longer we resist, the harder the wake-up will be.

    It was a really good article. 🙂

    1. HI Dragos,
      Everyone has been there isnt it… The whole irony is…even though we have all bee many of us realize it ?? And even after realizing many of us actually have the Courage to get out of it? The courage to decide and then Do ….now thats the missing link in many stories….
      Glad you liked this article 🙂

  4. Zeenat,
    This is so good to read. It’s easy to fall into that place of doing something that isn’t what your heart sings…and then keep on doing it…kind of “going through the motions” of life. It’s really when we connect with something within ourselves that we are really following our bliss. And that can be scary and bumpy road…but a road that is so worth it – because it is also filled with all that deeply matters to us and bring us joy.

    1. HI Lance,
      You say it perfectly ““going through the motions” of life…we all are often at this stage..and mostly coming in and out of it….
      Its when we connect with our self …our true self, that we can actually get out of the motions of life…the repetitive self destructing motions…
      JOy and happiness are well worth the journey always 🙂
      Thank you so much for your beautiful words here as always 🙂

  5. Juancav

    When doors are locked,and you crash your nose against it,over and over,make God willing,that was my decision.

  6. I like the quote and your post is wonderful. Sometimes I think we are afraid to go ahead and commit to a given path. But it is the only way we move forward. And I love the part about being true to ourselves. Clarity is the antidote to anxiety! Thanks for your inspiration today, it is what I needed to read!

    1. Hi Eriin,
      Clarity as an antidote is such a wonderful thought 🙂 Committing to one path..and not wavering on the way is easier if done with an open mind and total and utter faith in God and ourself. Somehow the way just automatically seems clearer then.
      Thank you for your lovely comment…and am so glad you liked this post 🙂

    1. Hi Bunny,
      Hiding only brings about heartache….learning to live openly and on your own terms…now that’s awesome 🙂
      Thank you for your insight 🙂

  7. You know Zeenat,
    My life has been complicated by illness…so on the one hand, the world/or my body…is determining certain things for me…but at the same time…I am choosing on a daily basis to live side by side with this disease and Love Life even more than ever. I cannot “do” many of the “things” I would like to do, but I can still find joy, peace, sadness, love, mystery when I choose to look and listen with my whole heart. It isn’t easy, it never was before either…and I certainly experience moments of despair…but then I return to the blessings, to gratitude and know that despite my “disabilities” I am “able” to “choose life” while I’m living.

    gentle steps,

    1. HI Laura,
      Youre a brave and compassionate soul. Despite all the problems you are still so strong …thats commendable. You are an inspiration to us all…we all need to have the exact attitude you have in order to make life ALIVE 🙂
      Lots of love to you…and may you be blessed.

  8. Dear Zeenat – you are SUCH a dear! – this is a wonderful trumpet call! It is amazing to look back on my life and see that sometimes a kick-blow to the heart was the only thing capable of waking me up! I know I’m not alone in that either, am I?

    Boy if nothing else does it, age surely SHOULD. While I love maintaining some childlike behavior for the sense of joy and wonder it brings, the “adult” in me hears the tick tocking of the clock ever louder in my 60’s! It’s no longer a tick tock but a drum beat. It’s helpful, in an odd sort of way, because it incites me to eliminate things I used to do that now, in hindsight (which I have an abundance of, btw!) are so not necessary – like cut to the chase – quickly discern if this is worthy of my time/attention and get on with it!

    Simplify before you get here, is all I can advise. Comes a time when you cannot carry as much of a load!

    1. Hi Suzen,
      I agree with you….SIMPLIFY has become my new mantra for living. I agree with you on not being able to carry the load….but, i think i am facing that issue right now..all this load I need to shed right now. Its not allowing me to live the way i want to. Your insight will help me for sure…in shedding the load sooner than later. I was infact writing about the simplify issue…will probably publish it next week 🙂
      You know both of us should write about it…together…what do you think??
      Lots of love.

  9. Hi Z.
    Not many people ever showed me a way of being in life that I liked or admired. Somehow everybody always did things in order to have or to be who they were not.
    Only young children seem to have what I want and it hurts me to see how their potential too soon will be curtailed.
    For me it starts with realizing how hard it is to reclaim who we are meant to be while living in this current environment.
    Then we can slowly begin to see the task ahead of us and then when we see the enormity we might dare to ask for support from the people we trust.
    And in the meantime I keep increasing doing things I love doing, more and more each day until my days are filled with things I love doing.

    1. Hi Wilma,
      Kudos to you for taking small steps to induce your life with things you love. Thats the sure shot way to being YOU for sure.
      When i see my little one..and see the LIFE that she exudes at this point…i am afraid it will all go away once the she starts understanding and learning more. I will make sure i let her be exactly the way she is..full of life…but the thought of the world taking over her innocence and zest for life..its unsettling.
      But as a mother i will try to let her LIVE just the way SHE is 🙂

  10. Hi Zeenat,

    This so amazing…the post that I published today is about my experience with this very topic. I have always been the odd one in a group since I pretty much have always marched to the beat of my own drum. My childhood was really tough and as a result, I was always on the fringes of the mainstream. This bothered me for many years and I tried to conform but it never worked out. I inevitably was always drawn back to being more like myself as opposed to what was expected of me.

    We all have our pain and suffering. No one is immune from that. Life is so short…there is no need to waste precious time in trying to please everyone. You just cannot make all the people happy all the time. The key is to just have inner peace and that to me is my defintion of happiness.

    Hope all is awesome!

    1. HI Nadia,
      I agree with you completely. We all go through life with some pain and sorrow….noone is immune…but letting that rule your thats your decision entirely. Our peace and happiness are in our hands ….we just need to put our hand out..and the universe does the rest….

  11. Peggy Nolan

    Hi Zeenat,

    Looks like the blogosphere is cooking up some marvelous articles on life transformation today! Like you, trauma got me out of “clue clue land” and into my own skin. Six years later, I still make the necessary tweaks and course corrections, but the only person I will ever be is me. The me that is authentic and real and not the me someone else wants me to be.

    Fabulous post!

    1. Hi Peggy,
      I am glad you liked this post…and we are both clue clue land visitors like many others…..the difference is..we realized it..and did something about it….The decision to thats a big deal for me 🙂
      Thank you for your lovely comment on this post 🙂

    1. Hi Lana ….youre so right…pure persoal satisfaction only comes form being our true authentic self. Glad you loved this post. Thank you for your lovely comment on this 🙂

  12. To be You — that’s a strong message sent to us all. I actualy feel that life has only started going right for me when I made the choices I want, do what I feel right and feel good at it. We need to get in touch in who we are, constantly. The more we do what has been given us, the bigger potentials we can perform.

    Social/Blogging Tracker

    1. HI Wchingya,
      Its so empowering when we start doing what we are truly meant to do..and if its our own decision..that makes it more of an achievement.
      Thank you for your wonderful thoughts on this 🙂

  13. In my observation of life I have discovered that the experience of adversity–let alone tragedy–can wake us up to the reality of life. We have confined ourselves to the limits of this world that we have abandoned our limitless self.

    Whatever we can gain from this life is our choice. But we should remembered that we are not of this world. 🙂

    1. Walter,
      Wow….now that was an insightful comment 🙂 I agree with you….we have indeed confined ourself to limits…when in reality we are limitless beings..full of potential and magic…

  14. tumblemoose


    I struggle with this. I really do. I know what to do, I know that I want to but I can’t seem to push myself to get past the fear of consequences. Right now I’m reading “The 4 hour Work Week” and a big part of this is conquering the fear and doing the hard stuff. I’m hoping that helps.


    1. Hi George,
      I hear you…its hard to take that first step. But, it needs to come from your heart. When the right time comes and that right spot touched in the ehart, you will decide and it will happen. You will be able to come out of clue clue land….Come join me on the other side 🙂

  15. Z.

    No one is taking over my heart mind and soul. I came from Wilma’s blog. I had to tell you I loved your comment and put it on an index card. “Awareness, conscious thinking and loving courtesy for self and others.” Today and always!

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  17. gyanban

    I believe one cannot become whatever one wishes for…I ‘d rather have someone spend more time to exploit what he or she already has….

    good post.

    1. Hi Gyanban,
      I agree with you…if we cant enjoy the experience of what we already this moment..what are we working for right …
      Thank you for sharing your thoughts and am glad you liked this post 🙂

  18. Got this from Blogadda! Excellent post indeed !
    Well, I am still stuck in clue clue land and I don’t know what I want. 😦
    What do you suggest?

    1. Hi Anu,
      Why dont you email me in detail as to what youre going through..and we can take it form there. We can both work together to get you out of clue clue land 🙂
      Will wait for your email.
      Glad you liked the post 🙂

  19. Zeenaatt! Beautifully written once again.

    Your story is extremely inspiring to the people who needs it. And I’m one of them.

    As you know, my age is basically the time of “clue clue-land” immersion. I’ve lived there for a long time but only recently I’ve developed a sort of maturity to realize that I need to get out of it.

    You hit the spot when you said how you would agree with just about anyone because you had no solid beliefs of your own, no confidence with the identity of your soul. And because of that lack of confidence, comes the lack of power and fire that brings up our true individuality.

    When I talk to some people, their unique individuality just shines all over the room, they are so bold and memorable…however there are some people who I feel has a dim light underneath. I am sure they have much potential, but the control of their thoughts and actions are dominated by the world around them and not themselves.

    I’m sure many people feel much uncomfortably constrained from their hindered identity in society, however, I also feel that it is because they have constrained themselves for so long that they have forgotten how to light up their potential once again anymore.

    For you, as you mentioned, it took the traumas and the desperation for change. For others it might take inspiration and admiration. However for many, those changes may never come. So the way I see it is to feel extremely grateful that we have the power and the awareness of control in our decisions and our identity, and we shall help those in need of that power and awareness.

    I say you’ve done quite a job with your blog with helping people. 🙂

    1. Hi Steven oh philosphical one 🙂
      I love what youve written here…and I do agree with you. There are still a lot of people who are still stuck in the “worldy views” of themselves. If we can recognize this and help them would certainly be a ‘good will bank’ deed 🙂
      For each person the realization point is different..but the important thing is that realization …it does happen. We just need to be aware in order to hold on to it.
      Glad you liked this post…and thank you for saying this blog is helping…its whats intended….I hope I can help as many people as I can.
      Thank you fro your lovely comment 🙂

  20. Beautiful article, Zeenat.

    It is often adversity which allows a soulful realization, and when soulful realization comes, there is not stopping. This doesn’t mean life gets easy…but it does get very clear!

    Thanks, I hope you are well!


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