*Positive Provocations*

~Healing with Positivity, Love & Happiness!~

Earning Goodwill while Dealing With People

36 Comments

Some time back, I had written and discussed the importance of our Good Will Bank. How important it is to have an account in this bank is and what are the benefits.

Today I give you a list of ways you can Earn some Goodwill while dealing with all the people in your life.

Most of us know that dealing with people can sometimes be the hardest thing to do or wrap your head around. But an attempt in the right direction can make you Goodwill Rich.

Just step inside of yourself and Try these Tips and you’ll know :

  1. Acquire the art of kindliness and persuasion. Kindliness is an attribute of the strong.
  2. Put consideration to human dignity before anything else.
  3. Get rid of double standards in thoughts and behavior; one for others and different for yourself.
  4. Start your request always with “PLEASE”. Words and actions inspire confidence.
  5. Give credit when credit is due. Praise fearlessly. If you must tell somebody off, never do it in front of others. Most peoples self esteem cant take it.
  6. In handling grievances let others tell their full story without interruption. A kind word always helps.
  7. Learn to listen. It inspires trust and confidence. You may be listening…but are you really listening or getting ready to argue?

“Think about how you feel when someone says nice things about you, about your personality, your intelligence and so spotted your virtues. You can make others around you feel nice as well- It does not take much effort. Just a will to do good.”

Do you have any tips to earn good will? How rich is your account in the Goodwill Bank?

with love Zeenat

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Author: Zeenat {PositiveProvocations.com}

Counseling Psychologist/ Spiritual Counselor/Motivational Speaker/Naturopath/Holistic Healer/Writer

36 thoughts on “Earning Goodwill while Dealing With People

  1. Hi Zeenat .. good points to earn our way to goodwill. When that doesn’t work .. then we just must be ourselves, but quiet and reserved, without harsh words .. it’s not an easy time .. but with kindness in our hearts and a smile on our faces – all times should be goodwill times.

    The two I would add are “Thank you” – my mother says thank you to her carers and they’re always amazed at how considerate she is.

    2ndly – giving a little extra time for people, if and when they need it .. just those extra few words with a smile, and perhaps a compliment, will gladden many a heart and endear you for ever.

    Great pointers – thanks
    Hilary Melton-Butcher
    Positive Letters Inspirational Stories

    • Wow Hilary,
      Your mum sounds like such a marvelous person. Youre a lucky girl!
      And what you said about being quite when we cant do or be good…such sound advice! I believe in that too…if you cant say anything nice…then dont say anything….cause then whatever you do say might end up hurting the opposite person. “Thank you” and “Extra Time” both perfect additions to earn so great GoodWill.
      Thank you for your lovely and insightful comment Hilary!
      Lots of love.

  2. Hi Zeenat. An alternative perspective is everyone is love and good will is a given. When you share compassion, the universe responds. It is up to each person to sense the advantages and blessings where they are. You can also choose not to see. You have reasons for all your choices. Realize those and grow.

    • Hi Liara,
      So beautifully said!! We are all LOVE. I couldnt agree more with your thoughts on this. I just hope and pray that each and every one of realize this and make the choice of compassion. The world would be sucha wonderful place with so much compassion…..Just thinking about it gives me goose bumps!
      Thank you fro stopping by and sharing your thoughts. Appreciate it. 🙂
      Lots of love.

  3. We must deliver our fellow these fruits of the Spirit: love, joy, patience, gentleness, goodness, kindness, perseverance.faith, modesty, temperance and chastity.

    • HI Juancav,
      Such beautiful fruits of the spirit!! I hope we can all gift each other with these beautiful fruits.
      Thank you for you beautiful thoughts on this post 🙂

  4. Great post and thanks for sharing. My general view is it doesn’t take much to be good/Kind and if we do struggle I pray for God to help us. Here is one of my favourite quotes. “What is important is to look upon everyone with a deep sense of honor,
    because your own heart and mind are influenced by the way you look at others.
    If we could do just that, we would be rendering the greatest service to our fellow beings”. ~ Swami Muktananda

    • HI Fatima,
      I loved that quote!! Its so perfect how it explains how we should truly treat others.
      And yes, Noone but God can help us all in achieving these fine attributes. Prayer is my way of asking for guidance too 🙂
      Thank you for sharing your lovely thoughts 🙂
      Lots of love.

  5. Hey Zeenat, I’m likin’ the new theme 🙂

    This is a great post that you have done, for you have strictly focused on the acts of kindness. That is a very important attribute because kindness is what binds all human beings together.

    One thing I would like to add is to be kind to yourself. As long as you like yourself and you are kind to yourself, those behaviors and concepts will be reflected in how you treat others. Otherwise, you’ll always assume negativity from others just as you assume it from yourself…which is how many people treat each other these days.

    Anyways, thanks for the post 🙂

    PS: Working on your stick-figure now 🙂

    Steven

    • Hey Steven aka Mr. Hoot,
      You’re right!!! We do truly need to first be kind to ourselves…and that in turn will automatically reflect in our actions towards others.
      It is a shame how people are so consumed with just hiding their internal negative conflict…that in-spite of hiding it.. it tends to come out in the form of rudeness or bad behavior towards others. Sometimes even close friends and family at the receiving end.
      Lets hope all have this spark of kindliness and light up the world around them too.
      Thank for you philosophical comment 😉
      And my stick figure better be cute and pink ..or i will seriously take over your smiley face blog…!!! 😉

  6. I think the listening piece is key Zeenat…when we are predicting where a conversation is going or preparing to suggest something or to defend ourselves…we are missing an opportunity to learn something unexpected…perhaps information…but maybe, more importantly the unexpected thing is the feeling of God’s Presence when we listen fully with open hearts…AND the connection that we feel with the person who is talking…this is (or can be) priceless.

    gentle steps,
    laura

    • HI Laura,
      Youve touched on something so profound in your comment-Gods presence. I just know, if we all thought God was with us at all times, we wouldnt or rather couldnt think or do anything negative; especially when it comes to our interactions with other people.
      Thank you fro your thoughtful comment 🙂
      With Love.

  7. Hi Zeenat! We’ve connected on Twitter and SU, but first time commenting here on your blog.

    I find when I am able to have a few moments or hours before having to deal with a difficult person, I am so much more able to see things from their perspective and say what I need to say with kindness and respect, thus earning a few points in the Goodwill bank.

    Unfortunately, when presented with a sudden situation, or someone with rather negative energies, my ego and ridiculous fears kick into gear and thus a few points are withdrawn from the Goodwill bank.

    When that happens I try to remember the grace that Princess Diana showed at all times. Finding someone as a role model really helps me keep things in perspective.

    • Welcome Laura,
      I’m so glad you actually made it to the blog 🙂
      I agree with you, its sometimes hard to handle another persons negativity, especially when its sudden. But the whole point is of being aware of our own thoughts at all times. It comes with practice..and even then we can lapse, we are only human….but try try until you succeed. And you will !
      Yes, Princess, Diana is a wonderful role model. I always admired her courage especially in her weakest of moments.
      Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts here 🙂 I hope to see you here again.
      With Love.

  8. Hi Zeenat,

    Here is something to consider:

    Research has shown that when a person extends kindness to another, the seratonin level increases for the person giving the kindness as well as the person receiving the kindness. And if that doesn’t blow you away, then this will: The seratonin levels also increased for those *observing* the act of kindness.

    We are all connected. When you are kind to others, you are being kind to yourself.

    George

    • Hi George,
      Science has proved it….but still we creatures of God and supposedly higher intellect dont seem to able to digest this fact. I think for those highly logical and scientific people this fact will work wonders in getting them to change their attitude to kindliness.
      So much fun that science is on our side too !! 🙂
      Thank you for sharing your insightful thoughts by commenting 🙂

  9. I love the idea of remembering to start every request with please. Sometimes when I’m in a hurry and emailing a request, I have to re-read it and insert that magic word!
    I also love praising others. There is so much good in this world, and people who are good to their core, and shining a light on them might inspire more goodness. At the very least, it may make them feel good, which is such a wonderful thing.

    Lots of good information here, and I may have to re-read it a few times so it all sinks in and stays with me – accessible at all times. Thank you, Zeenat! You make the world better with your wisdom, love and guidance. (smile)

    • HI mY Joyful Angel,
      The magic words are just entering my daughters vocabulary. She says “pls gif this” and “thankooo” !! I tell you just to hear her use those words from right now, makes me feel that she will be fine when she grows up. I hope she is a compassionate soul..I’ll certainly try to give her all the magic words and tips I can 🙂
      I’m glad you liked this post…and well the info and the informant are both at your service 😉
      Lots of love and hugs.

  10. Hi Zeenat!
    This post is full of grace – no doubt because the writer is a wonderfully gracious person! 🙂

    It may take a little more effort dealing with some people but I like to think of that as my spiritual exercise. Using good manners (please, thank you), showing respect by listening (great point about not planning your reaction!) and enlisting patience, kindness and love is certainly key. Begin and end with love!

    Zeenat, your recipe is right on!
    Hugs,
    suZen

    • Hi Suzen,
      Youre right…Love is indeed key to all our interactions. Having that in the mix surely brings out the best in us 🙂
      And I am happy you liked the recipe 😉
      Hugs to you too.

  11. I really appreciate this post Zeenat. All of these points spell respect for others, which is very powerful. Most of human communication is nonverbal. That is true for sending messages and receiving them. We all respond better when we sense that we are being shown respect, and mutual respect sets the scene for mutual goodwill. This is an aspect of life that is often overlooked by self-serving individuals, which winds up costing them in the long run.

    • Hi Jonathan,
      Youre so right…that if we become self serving it does eventually come back to haunt us later on. Whereas being in respect of another soul always brings back so much positive energy.
      Glad you liked this post 🙂

  12. Hi Z,

    I love what you say here especially 3 & 4 . People don’t realize each of us differ in our reactions. No matter how well you know someone it is often a surprise to see how someone else deals with surprises ( good or bad). The truth is the difference in peoples perspectives is what make it easier to help one another.

    We love the design!!!! Simple and clean and inviting.
    Love you ~

    • HI Bunny,
      Its sometimes a surprise for us too…when thrown with uncomfortable situations how we react….Our own behavior can be a surprise for us …so why should others be any different??
      Just knowing consciously what you’re saying and saying it with love and respect is key.
      Glad you liked the new design 🙂 In lieu of my yellow sunflower obsession 😉 also my IT friend said its the best theme SEO considered.
      Love you too…

  13. Wonderful Zeenat, thank you. Treat others as you want to be treated yourself, and I would love to be treated exactly the way you outlined. I really hope to have enough kindness and consciousness to treat others this way too.

    • Hi Lana,
      I hope all of us have enough kindness and conscious thinking to treat others and ourselves this way too 🙂
      Glad you liked this post. Thank you fro sharing your thoughts on it 🙂

  14. Hi, Zeenat — lovely post, makes me think of Hippocrates’ dictum “above all, do no harm”. Words, smiles, and overall body language can have such a healing effect, and as George said, the giver is healed as well as the receiver and even the observer. And like Steven pointed out, showing the same kindnesses to ourselves is a beautiful thing! Most of us would never call someone else stupid, but how many of us might call ourselves stupid (like when we put a cake in the oven then realize we left out an important ingredient)? I think that every one of us are meant to be healers. Thanks so much for this reminder!

    • Hi Jeanne,
      “above all, do no harm” Oh..thats just so perfect. It says so much of what this post is all about. And yes being nice and kind to another so beautifully reflects on us as well. We were intended to all be healer..and we are….most of us still dont know our true power!
      Glad you stopped by shared your thoughts 🙂 Thank you 🙂

  15. Hi Zeenat, I really like that picture!

    This was an excellent post. I liked this one because it is so important:

    Put consideration to human dignity before anything else.

    Thanks!

    • HI Stephen,
      Well, youre the first observant one to like the pic…i thank you for that 🙂
      Human dignity is among one of the core values we all must have….and it only comes with practice.
      Glad you liked the post. Thanks for you lovely comment 🙂

  16. Being in integrity so people can count on you.
    Only speak with good purpose, which means you say less and listen more.
    Do not judge, that means you honor the one who is in front of you would be my list.
    I do pay more attention to the goodwill bank than on my money bank account and I feel connected to you as I too think you are a customer of that bank.
    Hugs Wilma

    PS I cannot wait for Steven’s stick figure of you, paid for no doubt by your goodwill bank?!

    • Hi Wilma,
      I am so glad you and me are on the same page on this topic. Judging and thinking we are better than the rest is the biggest mistake we all make at some point in time or the other.
      It feels nice to be connected to someone on the level of integrity isnt it 🙂
      HUgs to you too…
      ohh..and steven just posted the stick figure of me on his blog. There is a small picture in the sidebar which will take you to it. hope you like it 🙂

  17. Absolutely, Zeenat.

    Listening and starting each sentence with “Please” are enough to make you shift your behavior. Good will bank is good, but yur direct interaction value is sometimes even more valuable than that. Whenever you open up like this, the reward is immediate.

    • Dragos, So so true. The reward is immediate….but the act is unfortunately done with such little faith that the reward usually passes us by. But when we listen , truly truly listen….nothing goes unnoticed….not even the reward. And that is satisfying.
      Thank you fro your awesome comment 🙂

  18. Beautiful. It’s not always easy to live like this but it’s worth a shot as the benefits are immense.

    I would add, “Give others the benefit of the doubt.” Sometimes, others can rub us the wrong way or put us on the defensive with what they say or how they act. But it’s very likely they have issues they need to work out or that we may be misunderstanding their motives. By giving them the benefit of the doubt, we aren’t stuck on a reactionary level. And when we see past the “quirks” of others, it’s very likely we’ll be able to begin to see the good in them. And I think that’s always a good thing.

    • Hi Belinda,
      So nice to see a nice new face…with such wise words 🙂
      Loved every part of your comment! Youve touched on a very important point about giving others the benefit of doubt. By doing this we not only let the the other person be free..but also ourselves. We become more and more open to possibilities without becoming judgmental and defensive.
      Thank you so much for stopping by.
      Lots of love 🙂