Notice how we keep falling into the same patterns repeatedly, especially in relationships?
Whether its trusting the wrong person or being too giving or any other pattern that gives you a sense of unease after. Actions, words or events in patterns that your don’t entirely understand, as to why they keep happening to you?
We need to start questioning why this is happening to us repeatedly. Why me? Why does this happen to me again and again?
Think about this; all of us go through recurring patterns with something or the other, usually someone or the other. Unrelated incidents manifest themselves as patterns once we recognize their frequency.
Example- A woman who after an abusive marriage, walked into another wedlock with a guy who not just had an extra-marital affair, but is also mentally abusive. This lady comes from a well off background and is an intelligent and well-sorted person. Are you wondering how such a bright and evolved woman could have chosen wrong both times for herself!
Such a recurring pattern may be negative, but could also be positive!
However, we are unlikely to note the positive incidents; they get taken for granted. We are convinced that we are essentially good people and so don’t question the good things that come our way. It’s only when things start going wrong that we start watching out for and questioning patterns! It’s then that we start blaming the world around for the chaos we find ourselves in.
Lessons to learn
We get into recurring patterns because there are lessons to be learnt from our past that we haven’t imbibed and till such time that we do so, we will find ourselves falling into the same trap again and again. However though we could blame Destiny for some of these recurrences, some could be due to flaws in our own personality too.
A pattern of abuse is like a self-fulfilling prophesy. It’s a defense mechanism called projective identification where we pull and attract through behavior or our body vibes, situations or people who inflict similar kind of pain or act in a manner that helps the environment go wrong. And then we say the world is too chaotic for us! The paranoid instinct takes over and the picture that emerges is a tarnished, paranoid image.
Break Destructive Patterns
In order to break such destructive patterns, the first step is awareness. First, an understanding and an acceptance that one is a victim of such a recurrent destructive pattern, then an awareness, that the problem is within, not outside us. We have to understand that the chaos we visualize the world to be, is actually a reflection of the chaos within us. We are attracting those people and situations towards us.
So, a certain amount of soul searching is important. Even if we cannot understand why we are on this self-destructive path, just an awareness that we are on it, is enough to set us on the path of healing. In fact, these negative occurrences or people are not really destructive, but friendly because they help make us aware of the problem within. Emotions that inflict pain help us develop cognitive skills that take us to the next level.
Once we become aware, we can evolve to a higher plane of consciousness where we take ownership for our own actions and it’s from here that the change begins. Why not pray for those that harm you most because they do so in order to help you realize problems within.
And, it’s when you start thinking positively that your cosmic relationship with that particular person starts changing and there is a break in negative patterns. You then stay away from the people or situations, who though still around, are not getting dragged into nor dragging you into recurrent patterns.
What about YOU? Have you noticed any recurring patterns in your life? Have you identified them?
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