*Positive Provocations*

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The Love Series:How to Uncomplicate & Blossom Your Relationships with Love

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Please Note: This is the Second Part in The Love Series. Please also read the first part of the The Love Series:How I Embraced Love


Let your love be like the misty rains, coming softly, but flooding the river.” ~Malagasy Proverb

When we think of relationships, immediately the word “complicated” seems to get formed in our minds. I recently met a friend after a really long hiatus, and when I asked her how things were going with her Husband…all she could do and say was “ahhhh…..hmmmm….let it be…its complicated…”. Just to clarify, this is the one person who was the most open about everything in her life, and couldn’t keep a secret even if it meant earning millions from it. If she could just not talk about something, it meant it was something huge. I probed a bit further, and after much ado she went on to say, “the spark is gone. its no longer the same as it was in the beginning. He doesn’t notice me or have long conversations with me. I don’t know what to do. I just go about my day and work as if nothing has happened. What else can I do? I cant become 21 again na…!”

Most of us have amazing people in our lives. Be it a partner, friend, roommate, brother, sister, cousin, parents, colleagues. I say amazing cause each of them, whether you like it or not, or acknowledge it or not have added some positive value to your life. Its another thing that you have chosen to focus on the negative value….and thus given yourself heartache. But each person has a big bundle of positive values that they add to your life. These positive values come in the form of a helping hand, someone who listens to you ramble when you are upset, someone who doesn’t judge you, someone who truly values you for YOU. But don’t get me wrong, not all people are full of positives, and sometimes their negatives outweigh their positives. Hey! do you think you are so awesome to be around that no one around you needs to think twice? Think again…we are not perfect! In fact when it comes to our own self we tend to think we are little angels sent from above, who cant do no harm! Seriously! Aren’t we all living under a cloud?

We all have our issues, our negatives. But when there are people around you who can dig deeper in you to still be there for your positives, don’t you think its only fair that we try the same for them?

When was the last time we were truly appreciative of the people in our life?

When my friend finished her long list of issues she had with her hubby, I asked her  “when was the last time you told him you loved him like you really meant it?” Puzzled at the question she said, “we tell each other i love you everyday. Every time he leaves for work he says it and so do I…”
I asked again, “like you truly meant it. Like you used to tell him when you were dating. With that much love and feeling?” She paused for a few minutes. She was clearly thinking about it. And very softly, very under her breath, she said “I don’t know when” !

Isn’t this the case with most of our relationships. We have forgotten to truly love them. OK, we love them, but do we really show them how much we love them?


Here are a few ways you can make sure all your relationships are getting the right amount of loving that’s required to keep them happy, healthy and blossoming always:

  1. Notice with love: Take time to notice from your mundane life. And when you notice something nice, make sure you compliment with love. Put some feeling into that compliment…and watch how the person on the other end beams with love too.
  2. Understand with love: Try to understand that the opposite person can also be having a bad day. How sweetly do you act when you are tensed or tired? Exactly…the other person could be feeling just that. Let them be. Show them you love them and you care for them, just by sitting there. You don’t always need words to show your love, or for the other person to feel it.
  3. Act with love: Make the effort to do something new at least once in a week. Just to spice things up. Something that’s out of the ordinary, yet shows the opposite person you love and care about them. Actions do speak louder than words.
  4. Breathe with love: When you are upset or angry about something, just breathe first. Take 10 deep breaths and think if your bursting like an atom bomb is really necessary. Will it solve anything? It usually never does. In fact, it’s in these times when arguments can crop up and range from your family, my family, your head, my shoes, your attitude, my attitude, the door  knob not being fixed….and by the end of it, neither know where it all started in the first place. Hmm….wouldn’t it have just been better to calm down, rather than waste all that energy in tampering with your relationship?
  5. Accept with love: Most of the time all the heartaches we have are because we want to at some deeper level want to change the opposite person to fit our little mold. We want to change them to be how we want them to be. We waste precious time and energy in doing this…and then still complain after years and years “he/she will never change”. When in all reality, its your expectations that have changed. The opposite person is still exactly the same person you fell in love with. If your expectations of him/her have changed, its not their fault. Accepting with love is imperative to the success of any relationship.

If we can just put our egos aside and operate from our hearts, we will see how easy it is to live from love. In living from love, we will notice no negativity, we will have no complains and we will have more happier and loving lives. Accepting our own imperfections, makes it easier for us to accept the imperfections of others and still love and celebrate them.

Love knows no malice, no negativity. It comes from a pure and gentle heart…and it touches other hearts amalgamating all into Oneness.
We are all byproducts of this Oneness. And this oneness is divine.
Divinity can not be complicated.

Just read the last 3 lines over and over again, till it fits into your heart like the blood pumping in its veins. You will never feel or live anything but love…thereby blossoming in love. So will all your relationships.

Positive Healing Energy To all your happy, beautiful, blossoming, loving relationships….. 🙂

What about you? Do you have any tips on how to keep your relationships happy and blossoming? Please share your wisdom in the comments below.

With Immense Love and Gratitude,
~Zeenat~

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Author: Zeenat {PositiveProvocations.com}

Counseling Psychologist/ Spiritual Counselor/Motivational Speaker/Naturopath/Holistic Healer/Writer

30 thoughts on “The Love Series:How to Uncomplicate & Blossom Your Relationships with Love

  1. AS always i really love the way you write. It’s simple but carries powerful message..

  2. Beautiful post, Zeenat. I think in our hectic modern culture we are bombarded with all sorts of skewed depictions of love – in romance movies, music, in the celebrities we worship. This is how most people come to understand what love is. No one is really explaining it to them on a more detailed level, in a way that people can see and feel what love means [like you do]. If only you taught young people about love before popular media got to them!

    Thanks for sharing the love! Best wishes.

    • HI Lynn, Lovely to see you here 🙂
      You are right about the media bombarding the youth with twisted notions of love. Love is beautiful…just not all gooey like the youth these days think it is…and divine love is just magnanimous.
      I usually go to local schools to give motivational seminars…and many a young kids have enjoyed the change in perception 🙂
      Thank you fro stopping by and sharing your beautiful thoughts.
      Much love~

  3. Aloha!
    I’m so glad I subscribed to your blog! Finding this in my email box this morning was a delight. Beautiful loving words…keep ’em coming’!
    Aloha, Gina

  4. Nice post 🙂 As you said I always say Love you to my bestfriend.. I also wrote about love in http://munnuz.com/fasting-makes-your-life-better/
    a few words in it on love 🙂

  5. lots to learn here, zee. thanks

  6. Hi Zeenat,
    Any relationship is a case of treat them how you want to be treated. Do something lovely now and again, cook a nice meal, give them a big hug, put your own issues aside when you are listening to them – and relly listen. It will come back in droves and they will do the same for you.
    And be honest, others are not mind readers, if they don’t know what is wrong, they can’t fix it!

    • HI Kate,
      Thats some solid advice there! I love how directly you are able to clarify the issues today’s relationships face. You are right…people aren’t mind readers…if we are not clear about our needs and issues…how do we expect any fixing to happen? let alone loving…
      Thank you fro sharing your wonderful wisdom here Kate 🙂
      Much Love~

  7. Zeenat,
    This was a joy to be greeted with this morning! We make love so complicated!
    I wrote a blogpost called Love Made Visible where I share some of my love wisdom.
    I am so thrilled to be on your mailing list and get to shae in your wisdom!
    http://brendastrausz.blogspot.com/2010_06_01_archive.html

  8. Hi Zeenat,
    One of the best ways we can blossom our relationships is to focus on the similarities that we have with the other person. Number 2 (understand with love) is so important. If we don’t understand what the other person is thinking or feeling, then we would run into problems. Thanks for sharing

  9. Hi Zeenat

    There is definitely no mistaking present, authentic love.

    I was never a fan of the typical “I love you” upon leaving or at the end of conversations with loved ones, as they just seem too inauthentic, too routine, too robotic, as if saying it just for the heck of saying it makes everything right.

    No matter what relationship, we need to be present for each other first and foremost, and yes, say it like we mean it!

    Great tips and as always, let us focus on the positive 🙂

  10. HI Zeenat…
    Thank you sooo much for this post. There is no coincidence in this life… 😉
    I have a question though: is it completely imperative to utter “I LOVE YOU?” I have met people in my life who don’t allow themselves to utter these words. What is this phenomenon called? FEAR?
    Again, my gratitude goes out to you for sharing this love and positiveness.
    Many blessings…

    • Hi Clau,
      SO glad to hear you are liking this series 🙂
      As for saying “i love you”…its important to say it or atleast make sure you show it very visibly. Otherwise there might remain regret incase you miss the opportunity due to unforeseen circumstances.
      And people who have this thing about not saying it or visibly showing it..is not cause of fear…but cause of their own vulnerability. They dont want to show they are giving in first or show they are more into their partner…they feel its a sign of weakness …and would rather have an upperhand. Its all ego based most of the time. And yes, maybe fear of losing that ego at the hands or hearts of someone else.
      When we can really throw away that ego….its then that love blossoms 🙂
      Thank you for your beautiful comment here Clau. I appreciate it.
      Much love~

  11. Hi Zeenat! Love is always the answer to whatever is going on in our lives. If we approach our relationships with love, we get love back. It seems to always work. No need to change anyone, just experience the love that we are. 🙂

    Thanks for writing on such a beautiful topic! Loving blessings!

  12. wow….thats great….well written and interesting….gud work frm ur side…..keep blogging….Best wishes

    By the way:
    hi………i’m a 15 year old blogger…..currently taking part in the “My Demand” contest……
    please read my post n support me by voting if u find it interesting….

    My post link: http://www.indiblogger.in/indipost.php?post=30629

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  13. Zeenat,

    I love these 5 ways to put love into action! I’m practicing on my kittens. 🙂 I’m seeing how many times a day I can tell them I love them. Putting our ego to the side, was a key phrase for me in this article. Just loving the love series!

    • Hi Sandra,
      Kittens are so cute…and you know I love them..cause I was literally in love with my 3 kittens when I was growing up 🙂
      Telling anyone and everyone how much you love them..makes for such a loving living … 🙂
      Glad you are enjoying this series…lots more where this came from 🙂
      Much love~

  14. Hi Zeenat,

    I think what makes relationships so beautiful is that they are complicated and part of being with someone is to uncomplicate the whole process.

    To me, the best thing you can do in a relationship is give unconditional love. Try to understand why they do what they do and realize when you fell in love…you fell in love with not only the good qualities but all the other stuff that may upset you.

    And by all means…never go to bed mad at each other. Talk things out until everything is out in the open. Even if it means staying up to 4 in the morning.

    Isn’t love just wonderful? Thank you for doing what you can to help spread love!

    • Hi Nadia,
      I love your suggestion of not going to bed till the tension is over or sorted. I firmly believe in this…I personally follow this rule…no matter how early I need to be up the next day… we never go to bed upset. Thats the beauty of being able to talk openly and honestly….and mostly of being in love.
      Glad you are loving this series. Thank you for sharing your wisdom here.
      Much love~

  15. Wonderful Zeenat! I loved this quote, so beautiful 🙂

    “Let your love be like the misty rains, coming softly, but flooding the river.” ~Malagasy Proverb

  16. Dear Zeenat,
    Thanks for pointing out that even if the jing of marriage goes out, it shouldn’t stop the caring. could be that the caring add’s just the spice needed.
    v