Special Note: Today I have for you the words of a young and vibrant woman, who is truly wise beyond her years! Enjoy Adrienne’s words and do show her some love here. Love, Zeenat~
Empowering Your Own Inner Cheerleader
By Adrienne Jurado
After finally completing my M.S. in Psychology, do you know what I’ve learned about human behavior?
We are all amazingly unique, yet surprisingly similar. We have such tremendous potential, and an incredible capacity to learn, to grow, and to love. Not to mention, we’re all just a little bit crazy. Yes, crazy.
Your Inner Dialogue
Think about it. How many different voices do you hear in a given day? No, not out loud. In your head!
Every day, we are engaged in a continuous inner dialogue. We are so used to having this conversation with ourselves, we are often unaware of it. Of course, I can’t say for sure what this dialogue sounds like for you, but for me, it typically goes something like this:
Me: I really need to prepare for this presentation I’m giving tomorrow.
Inner critic: Yeah you do! Your last one was terrible. Your boss is going to be there. You really don’t want to mess this up.
Inner coach: Don’t even worry about that last one, shake it off! Let’s focus on the lessons learned from last time, make some changes, and practice, practice, practice!
Inner ego: Meh, no need to worry about this presentation. You are so good at winging it, you can glance over the slides tomorrow morning before the seminar and still pull it off.
Inner critic: Are you kidding me? You don’t know this stuff. You can barely practice what you preach. How are you going to teach this stuff to anyone else?
This dialogue can become an internal battleground, but it doesn’t have to.
There is another voice in there, one many of us aren’t used to hearing, at least not in our heads. It’s the voice of our inner cheerleader. It sounds something like this:
Inner cheerleader: I know you can do this, and you are going to be great! You already know exactly what you need to do to make that happen.
Your Source of Encouragement and Support
If you’re as fortunate as I am, you’ve been blessed with a real-world cheerleader. Not the kind wearing a skirt and carrying pompoms, but that kind that serves as an unwavering source of encouragement and support.
Thankfully, there has always been a voice telling me I can do anything, and that I deserve it. The voice is nonjudgmental, and seldom carries unasked for advice. It does not say “you should” or “this is how.” Rather, it wraps around me like a warm hug, affirming “I know you will.” Most importantly, the voice never falters. It’s been the steady “rah-rah” on the sideline of my life. For me, that voice belongs to my mom.
She has given me so much in life, but above all her gifts, I treasure her support and encouragement the most. Because of her, I am always able to peer thorough the mists of doubt and see the possibilities that lie beyond. Even when I’m nervous or scared, I am confident that I can get through anything.
The most magical part of her gift is that the voice no longer needs to come from her.
Over the years, hers voice has awakened my own inner cheerleader and showed her how to lead! When the critic starts getting too rowdy or the coach becomes overzealous, she’s not afraid to step in and do her thing!
What about you? Is there someone in your life that has roused your inner cheerleader? If you’re a regular reader here, I think you know that’s exactly what Zeenat does here with her Positive Provocations!
As amazing as it is to have someone to offer you that encouragement and support, it is even more amazing to become that source for yourself!
Empowering Your Own Inner Cheerleader
1. Be your own friend.
I distinctly remember the first time my mom told me, “I really like you.” She’s said “I love you,” a billion times, but this was different. She wasn’t telling me this as a mom to her child, she was saying it as one would say to a friend. She was telling me that she enjoys my company, thinks I am a good person, and that she would be my friend even if she wasn’t my mom. That’s exactly what your inner cheerleader tells you! Your inner critic will try to make you feel silly about it, but don’t let it! Look yourself in the mirror, and let that voice cheer, “I really like you!”
2. Write letters of appreciation to yourself.
Sometimes it’s difficult to hear our inner cheerleader because we’re simply not used to hearing the things she has to say. Think about someone in your life who is a true source of encouragement and support. What words and phrases do they use that you truly appreciate? Practice writing these phrases to yourself, and you will help give your inner cheerleader a voice.
3. Take time for yourself by yourself.
Carve out some alone time to do the things you really enjoy. It may be hiking your favorite trail, knitting a blanket, repairing an old car, or even sitting on your back porch sipping a nice cup of french-press coffee. Regardless of the activity, take some time to focus on your inner dialogue. Yes, I’m suggesting you talk to yourself! Allow your inner cheerleader to take the center stage. Really focus on keeping the spotlight on her for once, rather than letting the coach or another voice push her out of the way.
Basically, you’re already a little crazy. Inner dialogue is part of your everyday life. The good news is, you are in control of that dialogue!
You write the script. Allow your inner cheerleader to play that oh-so-important supporting role.
If this is one of the greatest gifts anyone could ever give to you, why not give it to yourself?
It’s not about pride or arrogance, it’s about authentic self-love and appreciation. It’s about knowing that you can and you will, and that you deserve it, because you do!
Dearest Readers, I have been away for two weeks, busy with life, which due to some circumstances(all good) and major changes, require my undivided attention. I hope you have enjoyed all the new writers and their words here on Positive Provocations! If any of you have emailed me or contacted me, and I haven’t responded as yet, please know that I will respond to each and every one of you within the coming week. I will be back to my writing, online counseling and blogging schedule this Sunday! See you again then. Till then show Adrienne here some love by sharing this amazing article and leaving a beautiful comment. Love you all 🙂About the Author: Adrienne Jurado is a wisdom-seeker on a journey to experience life fully and to encourage others to do the same! Her background in physics and psychology, combined with her military experience and love for the great outdoors, brings a unique perspective to the insights she shares at experiencelifefully.com. Connect with Adrienne on Twitter @adriennejurado.
With Immense Love & Gratitude,
~Zeenat~
Counseling Psychologist/Spiritual Counselor
Motivational Speaker/Naturopath
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Thank you Adrienne for a great post!
Many times I go along, juggling life’s great gifts and not so great gifts, until I’m reminded by a post like yours that I really need to slow down and listen to my inter cheerleader.
You were speaking about your Mother being your cheerleader, I want to be a cheerleader for my grandchildren. Some of the words from my youth, that I remember the most, are from my grandmother. She was kind and gentle and when she spoke I wanted to listen.
Now that I’m retired it’s even more important to listen to my inner cheerleader as I have set about learning new skills and practicing some that have been with me for quite a while.
Hi Ellene,
What you are trying to do and be for your grandchildren is so precious – truly the best give you can ever give them, besides love of course! Your words, “She was kind and gentle and when she spoke I wanted to listen,” gave me chills! Isn’t it amazing when we find ourselves in the presence of wisdom like that?? I hope your grandchildren look at you the same way!
I love that you are out actively learning and practicing new skills in your retirement!! I’m a believer that if we’re not growing, we’re withering. Good for you for continuing to bloom. 🙂
We all need this reminder so badly to listen to our ‘inner cheerleader’ especially when the inner critic is out and about with his/her mallet beating every ounce of confidence out of us!! I love what you say about your Mum’s constant faith in your ability to ‘be’, and how that is what has given you your inner cheerleader. As a mother of three myself…I know I’ve made lots of mistakes along the way… but the one thing I’ve always wanted my children to believe is how ‘wonderful’ I KNOW they are. I am positive that having the self-belief that they have the inherent power to ‘be’ who they were born to be, is the most wonderful gift a child can receive from their parents. Thanks for this wise and wonderful post Adrienne. 🙂
Hi Rosemary,
Haha, laughing at the image of the inner critic and the mallet!! But yes, that’s exactly what it’s like!
You are so right about the power in the gift of “self-belief!” All moms make mistakes, even mine. 😉 But now that I am grown, I have such a tremendous respect for what she was able to do for me, which is put her own desires aside and empower me to be me, no matter what that was at the time.
A coworker and I were chatting the other day about how her mom was upset when she and her husband were considering moving out of state for a new job. While that is certainly understandable, it made me think of my mom when I left Pennsylvania to go to school in Arizona, or when I decided to join the Air Force. Of course it was difficult for my mom to let me go, but she never put a doubt in my mind that I should do it. It’s like that saying, “If you love something, let it go.” That is SO difficult to do, but necessary for parents to let their children spread their wings.
So glad you enjoyed the post!
Dear Zeenat,
Thank you for for sharing your beautiful space with me today!! I’m especially happy to be able to help out during a time when life is especially busy for you. I hope we’ll be hearing about these good and big changes soon! 🙂
Much love,
Adrienne
Darling Adrienne,
What a fun and full of wisdom article this is! Wow!
See how much your words are loved… 🙂
I just love how your mom is such a beautiful role model and cheerleader in your life. May all mothers have the consciousness to give that much positivity to their children. It makes for such well rounded adults. Look at you as a shining example of that.
Thank you sweetie for sharing your brilliant wisdom here. I loved the article so much….i cant even begin to tell you how much. Your writing comes straight from the heart…and that my dear is a gift. Keep up the lovely work you’re doing and I’m so so so happy you wrote for Positive Provocations!!!
Lots of love,
Z~
p.s. big announcements coming up in the next post here 😉
Hi Adrienne,
Your example of the coach, ego, critic and cheerleader made me smile. Each day there are so many choices we make, large and small, and I think we all just want to feel as though we’re making good choices. Keeping a positive focus is so important and I love the idea of being your own cheerleader.
My husband is my cheerleader and my favorite thing that he says to me is “I like you just the way you are”. No one had ever said it like that before… and the deep sense of feeling and thinking “Yes, I like myself too” was what I needed to have a better perspective on whatever the stress/worry/drama of the moment was.
Thank you for the inspiration! Have a wonderful weekend :~D
Sue
Hi Sue,
Welcome to my head!! 😉
I’m so happy to hear you have a real-life cheerleader – as much as we need to be our own cheerleaders, we all need someone like that in our lives, too! I don’t know why, but your comment made me think of the scene in “Shall We Dance?” where the mom is talking about love and marriage:
“With all these promises that we make and we break,
why is it that people get married?
Because we need a witness to our lives.
There’s a billion people on the planet…I mean,
what does any one life really mean?
But in a marriage, you’re promising to care about everything…the good things, the bad things, the terrible things, the mundane things,
All of it… all the time, every day.
You’re saying “Your life will not go unnoticed because I will notice it.
Your life will not go un-witnessed – because I will be your witness.”
~Beverly Clark
Adrienne, I think it’s great you had such a powerful mentor in your mother, and that you’re able to channel that when needed. It’s not always easy to talk ourselves up TO ourselves, but as you wrote, it oh-so- worthwhile. I loved your tips – thanks for sharing them, and here’s to telling ourselves that we can do EVERYTHING we set our minds & hearts to!
Hi Megan,
Definitely not easy – as with anything, it’s a continuous process. Even this week I found myself needing to take my own advice as the inner critic was being especially vocal!
This is kind of a funny analogy, but i really like it — my husband and I just watched “The Green Lantern” last night, and it was all about the battle between fear and will. As strong as fear can be, we can always overcome it with will. Really, it’s fear that fuels the inner critic…fear of failure, fear of rejection, etc. But the inner cheerleader is that force of will! 🙂 (I told you it was silly!)
Taking time away from yourself is THE BEST thing to do. It’s about Silencing your mind and focusing on you. WE all need Some ME time…don’t we?
Hi Jonathan,
I think you’re probably right. Although I’ve gotten much better at listening to my inner cheerleader, I haven’t really succeeded in quieting the voices altogether. Haha, that makes me sound crazy, but I hope you know what I mean. The few times I have succeeded in meditation, I have found myself in a serene and quiet place – a place I think I definitely need to visit more often. Thanks for your perspective!
Adrienne!
Love it!! And what a sweet, sweet mother you have!! (I have this sneaky feeling you’re a cheerleader to her, too!!)
And…(why am I admitting this?!?!?)…I, ,ummm, have a cheerleader outfit. Yep. Skirt. Pom poms. Pink wig. (…I’ll stop there…)
Maybe it’s time to get it back out (now…should that be literally or figuratively???)
Hi Lance!!
She’s the best! 😉 You know, you bring up a great point, because I think I accidentally slip into coach mode rather than cheerleader mode with my mom. I don’t know when I suddenly thought I knew better than my mom – I guess when I was a teenager, haha – but I’ve been slowly growing out of that. I love my mom so very much, that I just want the absolute best for her. When I see her making choices that I don’t agree with, I automatically go into coach mode. It wasn’t until recently that I realized I do that…which is ironic, since she rarely did that with me. It makes me realize that I do need to be that same cheerleader for her that she always was with me.
And for the record, I’m not at all surprised about the cheerleader outfit!! 😉
Loved this!
Thanks!!
And I don’t know….my parents are pretty crazy! 😉
so beautiful! you have such a wonderful way of words and always keep me thinking 🙂 I do like really like you Adrienne…i like you alot. You amaze me..Adrienne Morin Mom