“The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed.” ~ Carl Jung

In our age of uber connectivity human connection is not such a common phenomenon. We see lots of people but find our little cucoons to hide in. We don’t realize we’re craving a deeper connection with others until we actually find it. That is because deep human connections are Healing!

After publishing last weeks article where I shared my thoughts on how we have become so independent and how it is actually depressing us…my inbox was flooded with emails. All from beautiful souls of all age groups and demographics who felt the same way and were curious to learn how to build deeper human connections. Because it IS hard to do so. I get it. We all struggle with this.

Cultural norms come in the way and make it hard to connect with other humans – we’re supposed to talk about the weather, sports, the news, but not our deepest struggles. We’re supposed to say cool or funny things, but not share our greatest hopes for our lives or the person we want to become.

It’s hard BUT…

It’s hard, but… human connection is one of the most powerful healing forces available to us. We don’t realize we thirst for it, but we do, and the thirst is deep and very very real. When I find real human connection, it nourishes my soul, changes me, moves me to tears.

Building deeper human connections plays a positive and powerful role in emotional and mental healing. Here’s how:

1. Emotional Support and Validation

• Shared Vulnerability: When we open up to others about our struggles, it can be incredibly healing to feel heard and understood. Genuine connections provide a safe space to express emotions, which releases emotional tension.
• Feeling Understood: Emotional validation from others helps reduce feelings of loneliness, anxiety, and shame. It reinforces the idea that we are not alone in our experiences.

2. Reduction of Stress and Anxiety

• Calming Presence: Being around people we trust can help regulate stress levels. Research shows that social support reduces the body’s stress response (lowering cortisol levels), which in turn helps with emotional regulation and mental clarity.
• Emotional Containment: When we talk to someone about our pain, they help “contain” the emotions, making them more manageable. Sharing lightens the burden of emotional distress.

3. Sense of Belonging

• Counteracting Isolation: Deep connections foster a sense of belonging and community, which is vital for emotional health. Isolation, on the other hand, often exacerbates emotional pain, leading to feelings of abandonment or depression.
• Affirmation of Self-Worth: Strong relationships affirm our sense of identity, reminding us that we are loved and valued. This counters feelings of worthlessness and helps rebuild self-esteem.

4. Mutual Healing and Growth

• Reciprocal Empathy: Deep human connections are often mutually beneficial. Helping others with their pain allows both people to heal. Offering support and empathy often brings a sense of fulfillment, while receiving it fosters feelings of safety and care.
• Learning from Others’ Journeys: Connecting with others who have faced similar challenges can provide insights into healing. Hearing how someone else coped with similar pain or trauma can offer new perspectives and solutions.

5. Rewiring Trauma Responses

• Healing Trauma through Relationships: Many traumatic experiences stem from relational wounds (e.g., abandonment, betrayal). Building healthy, supportive relationships can help rewire the brain’s trauma responses, teaching it to trust and feel safe again.
• Corrective Emotional Experiences: Forming new, positive relationships can serve as corrective emotional experiences. For example, someone who has experienced emotional neglect can heal by being nurtured and valued in a supportive relationship.

6. Promotes Physical Healing

• Boosting Physical Health: Deep human connections have been linked to better physical health outcomes, such as lower blood pressure, improved immune function, and even faster recovery from illness. Positive relationships reduce chronic stress, which is known to negatively impact the body.
• Lowering Inflammation: Research shows that emotional connection and social bonding can reduce inflammation, a biological factor that contributes to various chronic diseases, including depression and heart disease.

Deep human connections act as a bridge between isolation and healing.

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By offering emotional support, validation, and the comfort of shared experiences, meaningful relationships help soothe emotional wounds, enhance resilience, and foster both emotional and physical well-being.

So, how do we connect, when it’s so hard?

How to Build Deeper Human Connections(at any age)

Building deeper human connections involves focusing in genuine connections, vulnerability, cultivating empathy, trust, and mutual understanding. And these are ways you can use no matter what your age is.

Here are some positive ways to foster more meaningful relationships which can then eventually turn into lasting bonds:

1. Go to places where people who have similar interests to you: A retreat, a meditation class… is filled with people trying to change their lives and interested in healing. That’s such a rare thing, to be with a group of people like this. Find a group like that – at a small conference, a retreat, group meetings, a yoga club, a book club, anything. Do some online searches for ideas, but say yes to at least one. There are online groups like this as well. So no excuses 🙂
2. Leave your initial resistance at the door: I always feel resistance when meeting new people. Especially if I have a presentation or seminar coming up in front of strangers. The resistance can keep us from ever getting out of our comfort zones. Don’t let it. The benefit of connection is so much greater than the resistance that you really must push through it. For me the resistance is always in the beginning, but when I push through the first few minutes, it eases and flows. I honestly then feel recharged and rejuvenated by the end of these meetings. Coming back with new friends and deeper connections.
3. Curiosity is your friend: When you meet these new(and sometimes scary) strangers, open yourself up. Smile, because its the easiest way to break the ice and then ask them about themselves, try to find out more. People appreciate a good listener, and questions can start a conversation and keep it going.
4. Be Open to Sharing with Care: Listening is always better than talking when trying to get to know new people. Within that listening, I’ve noticed that when am slightly vulnerable and share my own fears or struggles, the other person feels he/she can do the same. This points is when a real connection is made. How much you can you share? – you don’t want to share your deepest secrets as soon as you meet someone, but you can slowly open up, as the other person does the same. Many people might not be comfortable opening up immediately, so don’t push it too deep or expect everyone to want to make this kind of connection. Truth is, when you are authentic and open to these kind of connections, they do present themself rather beautifully.
5. Be Open-Hearted: Understand that these people who you meet are all are also human beings – who have tender hearts, pains and hopes just like you do. Opening your heart allows you to really see who is in front of you and appreciate who they are. Be fully yourself, and trust that you are worthy of love and respect as well. Let others in. Smile and Give hugs.
6. Ditch your Phone, please!: Most of us have the bad habit to use our phones when we’re in public spaces, but when you’re going somewhere that has a lot of people(like a conference, seminar, party or meeting), being on your phone is a big mistake as you are shutting yourself off from connecting. Instead, ditch your phone and seek real world interaction, even if it feels a bit uncomfortable in the beginning. I love to start conversations with people by complimenting something I can see I like about them, like their sense of style etc. Kindness is the most honest and effective ice breaker ❤
7. Be supportive: As is my habit, I always help and offer support in whatever way I can to anyone I meet. Everyone is struggling with something or the other. As am I. So if I can ease someones day I feel good about myself. Whether its helping someone carry their groceries, or offer to give someone a ride, or simply offer a shoulder as support…any support is good support. This support is the binding glue that keep relationships beautiful. Kindness begets kindness and makes for a lovely life.
8. Make the effort to stay in touch. In all the hustle of life, if you do manage to make a real human connection, find a way to keep the conversation going, and even meet again in person if it’s possible. If it’s not possible, try video calling so you can talk face-to-face. We all know making genuine connections is hard, so when you are open and keep the channels of communication open, the connection has a chance to grow into something amazing.

In all honesty, I still get nervous and awkward when I meet new people. But as I have gotten more and more confident within myself and my abilities, its become easier to sustain the right connections.

I know most people who meet me, think I am the most confident and put together person, which might be true now, but it was not always the case. I struggled with social anxiety, public speaking, self doubt too… Which means that it is an acquired skill and can be learned by anyone….till it becomes second nature. I can confidently say, healing my relationship with myself aka self love has been my biggest stepping stone.

If I can, you CAN too ❤

There are beautiful souls who are literally put in your path daily, be open to building those connections. You deserve a world in which you feel seen, heard and above all loved.

Your turn: Did what I shared in this article resonate with you? What are your thoughts on this topic? Share your thoughts in the comments ❤

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