That beautiful glow in your heart when it’s the beginning of a relationship…. You do everything possible to please your Love and vice versa. The romantic candlelit dinners, long walks, buying gifts, staying up all night talking and then … well, doing more than talking! Everything seems so perfect but as time passes by, you find that there’s something amiss in your relationship.
There’s no spark, no fire left in it. And suddenly one fine day you wake up wondering ‘Is the romance dead?’ Well don’t worry. There are ways to retain that romance long into the relationship. I just celebrated my 5th wedding anniversary last month and after one beautiful daughter, I can tell you this, the romance isn’t dead….on the contrary its grown, its bloomed into something so awesome. But, it takes Loving to nurture your love garden.
With Valentines day coming closer, I felt it fitting to write and share with you some of my Love Garden tips. After all it is the season of Love, today and always!
How to nurture your love garden(your relationships)?
LOVE GROWS DEEPER
It’s true that you may miss those moments when you and your partner used to look into each other’s eyes or hold hands. But think about it this way – over time, your relationship has grown deeper, bringing with it trust, comfort, security and the true intimacy that comes from knowing someone so closely. New romance is always exciting, but fleeting. It’s important to appreciate the wonderful things that come from time rather than novelty.
LOVE MAKES TIME
In this fast paced life there are many commitments that one has to fulfill. But then these were existing even at the beginning of your relationship and you used to manage to take time out for your partner. So that means you can reschedule your plans once again. Take time out for your mate. Perhaps you could forgo your dance class for a day for a candlelit dinner or get up little early in the morning to make breakfast together. Or plan a weekend trip. The point is not to take your relationship for granted. It’s as important as your other priorities.
LOVE COMMUNICATES
Talk to each other . When you get to know someone you tend to tell them about your life, your aspirations, your secrets and hearing theirs in return. But when you feel you know someone inside-out, you feel there’s not much to communicate. Instead, you complain about daily irritations, you focus on the trivial, instead of the meaningful. There’s always more to learn about each other. Even discussing current events or asking your partner for their point of view on a problem. Only discussing the surface of your lives leads to estrangement. Eventually, you’ll feel like that connection that you had at the beginning has disappeared. Keep asking questions about their life and sharing memories and stories and continue to build on that connection, rather than letting it fade away.
LOVE GOES THAT EXTRA MILE
It’s easy to be lazy in a relationship. You stop saying thank you or saying “I love you”. It doesn’t take a lot to make a little more effort to be considerate and appreciative, but it’s easy to forget how important it is. Remember at the beginning of your relationship when you were so eager to surprise your new lover with a breakfast or a spontaneous little gift? Don’t forget that. Pick up a single rose when you know your partner’s had a bad day at work, make some soup when they’re feeling ill. These kinds of actions will make your partner do the same kind of things for you. Let your mate know that he is still important and worth making an effort for.
LOVE INVESTIGATES
Find out what each of you expects . The two of you go into separate rooms and each write down his or her idea of spending quality time with their partner. What does it look like? What does it feel like? Then you can share it.
LOVE KEEPS THE FIRE BURNING
If your relationship is still important to you, then it will be well worth a little more time and effort. Don’t slack off and don’t take your partner for granted. Love is like a garden. It needs consistent, careful attention to thrive. Without it, your relationship is destined to wither away. Let your love bloom from the inside out.
These tips are not necessarily applied only to romantic relationships, they work with all your relationships. The language of love doesn’t see who its showering its beauty to. Love in everything and everyone is all that truly matters.
“You can’t stop loving or wanting to love because when its right, it’s the best thing in the world. When you’re in a relationship and it’s good, even if nothing else in your life is right, you feel like your whole world is complete.”~ Keith Sweat
Having good, solid, loving relationships in our lives, paves the way for us happily doing so much more. Nurture that Love Garden, Nurture every being that comes your way with love, and watch how your being elevates to new heights.
What are your thoughts on Love?
Do you have any tips to nurture the love garden? Do share your thoughts and wisdom in the comments below.
Next Week– The Mega “love is…” Article + My Loving Gift to YOU “Your Self Healing Starter Kit” for Valentines day!Be sure to be on the Mailing List(click here to subscribe) to receive “Your Self Healing Starter Kit” straight in your Inbox!
With Immense Love & Gratitude,
~Zeenat~
Counseling Psychologist/ Spiritual Counselor
Motivational Speaker/Naturopath
Holistic Healer/Writer
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The evolution of love. How accurate. How true. How wise. Zeenat, I love the concept of a “love garden” – I love gardens period but a love garden is unique. Advice above yours? Hardly any. But my love for my husband has grown in amazing ways. We have grown and evolved together. We have both matured to see that the trivial rubbish not only matters very little but we hardly remember it a month or a year later but if we hurt each other about it, we remember that feeling for a lifetime. Being kind and giving and remembering to watch the words during our moments of anger. And doing everything else you say here, darling Zeenat….
Dear Farnoosh,
I love love love gardens too! Infact whenever I take Haaniya to the park to play, I’m the one catching butterflies and marveling at mother nature.
Its so beautiful what you and your husband have today. I can totally relate to watching our words during those angry bouts 😉
I’m so happy you liked this article…and my little love garden 🙂
So Much Love to you~
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Zeenat,
It’s amazing what love can do, isn’t it? When you first meet it’s wild and all consuming. Then after that it settles down and you begin to see the person for who they really are. That’s where it gets tricky. A lot of people can’t handle the “real” person they want the wild romantic love that comes in the beginning. But, I don’t think you can have that “falling in love” experience for too long.
It’s what come later that matters most. If you can stay together and commit to trying each day to supporting and honoring each other, well, then you really have something.
Explaining this process as the evolving of love is the perfect description.
Hi Angela,
I think love is all encompassing..and so beautiful. You’re so right…that committing to trying each day to support and honor each other, is the best kind of nurturing there is. A relationship which is completely transparent yet amazingly satisfying!
I’m so glad you liked this post and thankful to you for sharing your beautiful thoughts here.
So Much Love~
Beautiful words and beautiful image from a beautiful person!
Zeenat, you have said it all – love is eternal and it’s up to us rekindle and keep the fire burning.
Wishing you love always:)
Love and blessings
Arvind
Oh Arvind, Your comments always make me blush!! You are the love junkie like me..and I love that about you!
I’m still checking up on your new LOVE site…and will link to it in the valentines day post. I cant wait…
Love and blessings to you too, by “love junkie” brother 😉
Zeenat, I’m always running, running, running – I apologize I also meant to thank you for linking to my post about how to get the answers to life’s problems.
Thank you!!!
Oh Angela…you and me both! I runnn…and runn…and that goes literally too! Little 4 yr old and a Big hubby baby ;)…
No thank you necessary Angela..I loved that post..and it will be a valuable and helpful read for my readers, who will enjoy it thoroughly.
Hello there Zeenat,
Thanks so much for finding my post worthy of linking to. At present I’m not focused as much on blogging as I am on being available to my siblings. For me family and friends who close enough to me to be considered as family family are priority number 1. Two of my siblings are in dire straits with medical issues — very serious medical issues. Therefore I have been focused on loving them every moment that I can for we are facing “impermanence”. Granted we are all “terminal” but these two siblings are 10 years junior to me in age and what we are going through now is a very painful, heart wrenching experience.
What can be worse that the pain associated with loving those whom you have raised as if they were your own children and then being unable to help them while you watch them pass over? I really don’t know. I’m focused on loving them every minute that I can.
Love and peace,
TiTi
Hi TiTi,
I’, sorry youre going throuhg a rough patch with your siblings right now. I know how hard it can be, cause I lost my sibling(younger brother) to an accident a few years back…its not a good feeling when those younger to you go through pain. You feel this need to take their pain away…but then helplessness sets in.
I can understand how everything else can take aback seat..family should always come first. You be there for them, and I will pray for them from here. God willing, all will be well.
Lots of love to you and your family in this time…
p.s. the linking was just natural to me..cause I loved that post of yours so much. I just know the readers will love it too!Thank you!
P.S. I was weeping as I typed my comment above and that combine with visual impairment resulted in me making typos. Will you please edit and crorrect them for me?
Darling..I did the editing immediately…and I wish I was there to wipe those tears…oh now I’m crying too…Love you lots. Take care of yourself.
I feel more fertile already. Since I am male, this is somewhat odd. However, love allows us to see through the eyes of others with greater empathy. The produce from this garden does have miraculous qualities. Love is the chief nutrient of all spirit.
I love your blog, Zeenat.
Hi Mikey!
So awesome to see you here again!!
And hmm fertile….men can be very fertile mind you 😉
Love is so so beautiful and so healing na. As you say so eloquently ‘love allows us to see through the eyes of others with greater empathy.’ wow!
I am so glad you are enjoying&loving my blog….I’m blushing 🙂
Much Love~
Yes I remember the passion of the first days and weeks vividly and over the past 22 years we have had our up and downs, we have had some tough times that have brought us closer together. We are open and honest with one another and for the past 9 years we namaste one another each morning- Des always remembers:) We respect our differences and tell one another each day of our love. Wow you made me realise how blessed I am to have asked Des to come to a fashion parade all those years ago.
Namaste
Suzie
Dearest Suzie,
Ahh you too remember the good ol’ days hmm… But you know like you I wouldn’t trade this connection I have right now with my hubby for anything else in the world.
Yes, there are always ups and downs…but coming out from there loving each other deeper is what makes it all worthwhile na 🙂
May you and Des be blessed with love forever and ever ! And fashion parade..oh oh…I have to hear that story!!!…
Lot of love to you~
I was just telling Des about your post at lunchtime and he said yes what we have is special a love story that spans more than 20 years.
lots of love to you as well
Hi Zeenat!
What a nice post about love you have here. It’s a shame to see a lot of marriages crumbling these days and most of them due to BOTH parties not willing to tolerate and make effort.
We might just try writing a list of ideas for spending quality time with each other. 🙂
Thank you for sharing this with us and may God bless you with many more years of love and happiness between you and your husband!
Tariq and Shaheera
Great words of wisdom written here. Love is complicated.Often time or timing is an issue,both partners need to spend more time talking and not allow anything to get in the way.Communication is so very important.
This post had me smiling from start to finish. It’s so beautifully written.
I love the tips on how love makes time and love communicates. My husband and I go for a walk together almost everyday in the late afternoon. We sit on a lava rock and gaze out into the ocean. The last few days we’ve had the thrill of seeing whales! Most importantly, we converse about what is deep and important to us as we walk. We seem to communicate more deeply than ever.
Thanks for this beautiful inspiration.
Zeenat,
The only thing I can add to this wonderful post is to be sure to find ways to laugh with the people you love. I always find that when I share a laugh with someone, it touches something deep inside me and there’s a connection made.
I read the comments before I commented and I got stuck on the one by “timethief.” Having lost people in my life, I feel for her right now and also send my loving thoughts her way. In addition, I want you to know that you are so gentle in how you approached her in this difficult time.
Thanks for being who you are, Zeenat:~)
Zeenat, I loved this post! You’re so right that love needs nurturing, much like a garden. And I do love garden metaphors 😉
One thing that is really important to me is talking. As we grow, so too do our dreams and aspirations. My partner and I always talk about ours, as there’s always new perspectives and things to consider.
I think it’s really important to recognize when you are feeling a weak connection – that is the perfect opportunity to stimulate a little love. (With meaningful conversation, saying “I love you” or doing any of the little things you mentioned)
Much love to you! 🙂
Beautiful Zeenat! This was soothing to read, and made me excited for what’s to come. I am planting a garden and hope to soon make manifest a partner with whom to share a lifetime’s worth of blossoms and harvest.
I loved, loved, loved Suzie’s response, too! Wow! Her relationship cements for me that yes, amazing romantic love not only exists, but lasts! 20+ years is just incredible…
Timely post for the February month of love. I agree that love needs commitment and time. I have been married for 10 years and my relationship with my husband keeps getting stronger! It’s because we take the time to work our differences through and to spend fun time together as well!
Love your post! Twittered and facebook shared! Have a great weekend!
This was absolutely beautiful – thank you so much!