The best thinking has been done in solitude. The worst has been done in turmoil.~Thomas A. Edison
I have a confession to make. Its rather an admittance…. I’m the type of person who loves alone time. Don’t get me wrong – deeply meaningful relationships with other human beings are a necessary and important part of my everyday life. However, I adore, crave, and carve out vast amounts of time alone.
For me, it turns out, solitude is a positive state, necessary to remain sane and healthy. Not everyone needs hours of time alone, but everyone needs his or her own personal balance between engagement with the world and engagement with self.
Why Solitude?
It Gives YOU Time to Rediscover Self and Reevaluate Priorities
People often want to accomplish big important things in their personal lives… Like achieving a fit and healthy body, overcoming an addiction, writing a first book/novel, or beginning a new self-based business. But one of the top reasons that stops them from achieving their goals is an inability to put themselves as a number one priority in their everyday lives. Deciding to spend time alone each day is an important step toward recognizing the value of putting self as a priority.
It Bring Back Your Lust for Life
You may be wildly busy in your life, but are you joyfully taking action on your most important dreams? It’s easy to push your personal goals to the back burner and think you’ll get to them tomorrow, next week, or next year. Unfortunately tomorrow never gets here. Each day becomes a repeat of the previous day. Living in a repetitive rut results in boredom and diminishing joy. To bring back your hunger for life, spend some time alone each day focusing on new experiences that would allow you to grow and branch out beyond the ho-hum of everyday living. To bring your dreams or personal goals back to the front burner, take a few minutes of alone time each morning and ask yourself these questions: What is really important in my life today? What can I do to nurture the core central relationships in my life today? What is one action I can take on the dream that is most significant to me?
It Gives YOU Time to Breathe and Release Stress Levels
Stress happens when we believe that we do not have the time, experiences, or resources to deal with a challenge or situation. Feeling pressured and anxious about a perceived unsolvable or impossible situation, our bodies release adrenaline and gear up for a fight or flight response to handle the immediate danger. Taking a few minutes of alone time to breathe and calm down helps bring new perspective that while the situation at hand may be undesirable, it is not a life or death situation. With relaxation comes a new ability to be at ease with yourself. And with ease comes the ability to tap into inner resources, grasp valuable insights, and find new innovative, creative solutions.
It Gives YOU a Chance To Be With Your Own Feelings
Taking time alone creates space to relax, clear out the world, and be with no one else’s feelings but your own. By stepping away from all the outside noise and busyness, you allow new opportunity to clear the confusion and sort out your emotions and feelings. Once our head is clear, you can take the time to explore what you truly believe.
It makes YOU Independent
A person who leads a self-reliant life is able to think for him or herself rather than meekly accepting other people’s ideas. When you’re relaxing by yourself it’s much easier to enjoy some self-reflection, be true to your own private heart, more independent, and more in control of your personal choices. Increasing your alone time can lead to an empowered ability to trust yourself, trust personal intuition, make decisions for yourself, and be confident in your own ability.
“A man should keep for himself a little back shop, all his own, quite unadultered, in which he establishes his true freedom and chief place for seclusion and solitude.” ~ Michel Montaigne. Indeed, for all men and women, creating solitude can refresh and lead us into acting genuinely.
Starting NOW, today, make a solid decision to nurture yourself positively with solitude. Be sure to block off some time each day where you won’t be interrupted. Then relax and enjoy the alone time essential to your health, inner peace, and happiness.
What are your thoughts on this topic? How do you positively nurture yourself? Have you found solitude to be a friend or foe? Do share your lovely thoughts in the comments below.
With Immense Love & Gratitude,
~Zeenat~
Counseling Psychologist/ Spiritual Counselor
Motivational Speaker/Naturopath
Holistic Healer/Writer
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Solitude is most definitely a friend of mine. I crave and cherish it as much as you do Zeenat. I marvel at people who are always on the go, zipping here, zapping themselves there. What’s the rush? There is no rush, really. We create it ourselves.
I bring this up because I’ve found that people fill their schedules to overflowing do so because they fear being alone.
Every time I find myself late for something or on the verge of being late I realize that I created or allowed the situation (it’s not that often anymore because i really don’t like it) and then I realize I can choose right now to relax and let it be.
I’ve heard the argument that we must be responsible and that we have duties to live up to and that in the spirit of service we must perform. All true, perhaps, but does that require a constant intensity that keeps us from our peace? I don’t think so.
It’s just my opinion, perhaps, but I believe the world would be a better, more peaceful place if more of us would take the time and initiative to learn to be alone, to center ourselves, to reach deep within and find the core where we’re all connected to one another in love and peace.
Oh boy that sounded serious! ha! On the other hand, let’s just have fun and enjoy! 🙂
Hi Carmelo,
Seriously awesome is what that comment sounds like 🙂 Keep em coming !
Indeed we could and would have a better world if we could just enjoy ourselves by ourselves 🙂
Thank you for your seriously awesome comment here.
Much Love~
Hahahaha … you’re welcome. Seriously appreciated reply!
(now, i have a “serious” matter to attend to … ;-))
psst…dont get too serious! We need thy funnyyyness too 😉
I read your posts on mail, but this is the first time I am commenting here. You have a lovely blog, with such positive messages 🙂
I for one, am a great one for solitude and appreciate it when others want to be by themselves too instead of feeling hurt that they are ignoring me 🙂 This post is very comprehensive, coming out with all the positives of being alone. I had done a post on this too (though not so beautifully 🙂 ) Do check it out http://cybernag.in/2011/12/alone-or-lonely/
HI Zephyr,
So glad you stopped by to share your wonderful thoughts on this topic. And I am super happy that youre one of the email subscribers too ..yay! Thank you!
Its amazing how most of us love and need our solitude…but seldom take out time for it.
I’ll definitely check out your post on this topic. I bet its amazing…cause anything that comes from the heart always is.
Thank you for your amazing comment here.
Much Love~
Dear Zeenat,
This is a valuable article for those of us who are learning how to live meaningful lives. The point you made about becoming independent is a key one. My experience has been exactly what you stated: “Increasing your alone time can lead to an empowered ability to trust yourself, trust personal intuition, make decisions for yourself, and be confident in your own ability.”
I start my days in solitude and silence because it allows me to listen to my internal dialog better and become aware of my thinking patterns. Those thoughts give rise to emotions and actions and can be easily overlooked if I am too busy to be still and listen. Throughout the day I seek solitude again and always benefit the rejuvenation that I receive when I sit breathe and just be.
Love and peace,
TiTi
Dear TiTi,
Like you I start my days in solitude too. I love to wake up and have that hour or two for myself to just breathe and refresh everything.
The day goes by in a flash for me…without a moment to myself….so my mornings are super precious. Like you said..we can just breathe and Be.
Thank you fro your loving comment here. Love seeing you here.
Much Love~
Zeenat, lovely post and one that speaks to my heart. I enjoy my alone time a lot, at peace with myself. I guess I grew up that way – as you know, i went through 5 schools from grade 1 to 10 in different cities – and that literally necessitated bracing up to leave – I never knew how long we’d stay in a place – such was our family situation. I learned over the years, to enjoy my own company, to focus on what I wanted to do, to accept myself the way I am and – get a whole lot done 😀 And oh yes, I am independent. I do love my family and friends to bits – and my community, too. Yet I treasure the time I spend alone. I am lucky to work from home, as I get a lot of that precious commodity – time.
Thank you, dearest Zeenat. Have a beautiful Sunday followed by a fantastic week!
Darling Vidya,
Your experience of learning to me by yourself after shifting so many schools and cities…shows how much being by yourself can give you a sense of belonging to yourself…and not having the insatiable need to be with others. Being your own best friend is far easier than we think eh 🙂
Your independence is as inspiring as you!
Thank you for your heart warming comment here.
Much Love~
Yes Zeenat!
I didn’t understand it for a long time, and felt it was not acceptable, but I am a lover of, and definitely need my solitude. Luckily, there were only a few people in my life who felt that my desire to be alone should be squashed. 🙂
I find I need that alone time to unwind and let go of the days stresses and anxieties. To think or not think and…just be. When around others, I can enjoy them and apprerciate that time, but it can also become overwhelming. I find crowds and people draining instead of gaining energy. But I also understand that there are others (my husband 🙂 ) who find crowds energize them and have no problem being busy all the time.
I guess the key is figuring out which works best for you. But that time to reflect, and get in touch with who you are, where you are going; that is a must. And I am just now beginning to realize how useful that time can be for my own personal growth, and not just unwinding!
Thank you for the wonderful thoughts and ideas.
Hi Nay,
Firstly wonderful seeing your comment here. I always love a new commenter
And secondly i completely agree with you…there will always be people who don’t ‘get’ what we are about. The key is to let them be and time usually makes them understand. There are many who love crowds….I do too, but I need my alone time to recharge to be able to enjoy those crowds.
I’m glad you’re a fellow solitude lover.
Thank you for sharing your awesome thoughts here. Love it!
Much Love~
Each note can be a foot step into, or a foot step out of solitude:
I am pleased that with the two fingers and thumb sticking out of the cast on the left arm, and with my free right hand I was able to spend *solitude* time in my ‘little back shop’ repairing a very small ladies wristwatch movement 🙂
Solitude is a great mountain to ski in Utah!
I believe that solitude gives *self* the *space* *sensation* *silence* *serenity* to find one’s fundamental *sincerity* to live *selflessly* in “step” with the universe.
Thank you Zeenat for letting all of us walk in your foot steps…
Thank you dear Rand for sharing your wonderful self with us here. And that line is pure poetry….”I believe that solitude gives *self* the *space* *sensation* *silence* *serenity* to find one’s fundamental *sincerity* to live *selflessly* in “step” with the universe.”
Much Love~
Thank you Zeenat! I needed this today! I crave solitude like air. Unfortunately it’s been almost impossible to be by myself with my beautiful little kids around me all the time. If I get up early, they follow me. And post-bedtime is the only time my husband and I have together. Like everything else – it’s a passing phase.
Without my quiet time alone, over time it feels like knots develop on my insides that can only be loosened in solitude.
The peaceful, tranquil time is when the answers to the big questions come to me, when everything makes sense again, when the world stops spinning around me.
Thank you again!! Big Hugs!!
Dear Paige,
So glad you too love your solitude. I think we all need to carve out time for ourselves.
I know what it is like with kids around….I’m with you my fellow Libran sister 🙂
Thank you for your lovely comment here.
Much Love~
I find it gives me time to breathe too Zeenat. I treasure my ‘quiet time’ however long or short it is and then I’m refreshed and raring to go.
Lovely reminder dear Zeenat to take care of ourselves.
Love Elle
xoxo
Darling Elle,
So glad you love your quiet time too! We do so need it…breathe refresh renew everyday!
Thank you for sharing your amazing thoughts here.
Much Love~
Being alone gives me time to think Zeenat……and to dream & imagine…which is a good thing
be good to yourself
David
Dear Zeenat – Thank you for such a lovely post. Yesterday was a wonderful reminder to me of how much solitude is necessary to my spiritual wellness.
For a very long period in my life, I thought that there was something ‘wrong’ with me for needing vast amounts of alone time. I was fortunate enough to latch on to a very good counselor who told me (I couldn’t tell you how relieved I was to learn this) that I was an introvert. Hence I naturally needed vast amounts of alone time.
I love being around people, having my children’s friends over, spending time with my own friends and doing things that bring me joy. Going and doing takes a great deal of effort on my part, and if I sometimes find myself going and doing too much without having down time; I become a real grouch.
Yesterday was one of those days, and I was so glad to see your post. When I spend a day in my yard or quiet in my office (where there is scads of books), I am able to come back to center and find my Self again. As I was walking through my yard yesterday, I noticed a small swarm of yellow summer butterflies lighting on a Bottlebrush bush, and it made me stop, smile and be grateful for the quiet hiss of summer here in the southeast US.
I used to believe that spending time alone was taking away from my family and depriving them. I now know that by not spending some time in thought, in prayer – I am depriving them of the best me that I am capable.
Thank you Zeenat for this wonderful blog and for the love that pours out.
Many blessings and with Love,
Wendi
I just spent four days up at my cabin in solitude. That is where I seek it out the most. No phone, no Internet, no TV. Just me and the trees and the creek. Ahhh.
I enjoy my alone time as well. A nice balance of people and solitude suits me well. Take care.
I’m quite a bit like you. I need more time alone than most people do. I love the contentment I feel when I’m alone. I feel more connected then than I do when I’m with other people.
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Zeenat….I spend the majority of time in solitude. If I have a day without any, I feel confused and cut off from my soul. Thanks for a beautiful post. xxoo-Fran
Oh Zeenat, I just cant tell you how much I liked the article, the whole idea of solitude just clicked. I love solitude and I still cant imagine you favoring solitude, since I always thought being in solitude does more bad than good but after going through your article, I definitely feel better.
I crave for my time alone and try to get it daily and must tell you, I feel much more relaxed and refreshed after that. It nurtures the soul indeed.
Immense love.
solitude is essential to maintain our inner peace and tranquility. It is as important for our soul as food is for our bodies. I agree with everything you say here – I value and treasure my solitude greatly !
I agree. Ever since I was little, I choose to always be alone and be with my solitude. I like being with other people, but I find that when i spend time alone, I reconnect with who I am and I feel connected with the divinity inside of me. It is a wonderful, blissful feeling. 🙂
Dearest everyone,
I apologize for not being on the blog more these past couple of days. There has been a family emergency of sorts(all good now). Haven’t been able to concentrate on the blog cause of that. This month of September is going to be a treat for the readers…cause there are a few awesome surprises up my sleeve 🙂
Thank you for all your comments…I have read them all and appreciate you’ll so much.
So much love~
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