19 Positive ways to Romance Yourself this Valentine’s

On By Zeenat Merchant Syal-Counseling Psychologist|Spiritual CounselorIn Mind, Heart& Soul-Motivation&Inspiration, Mind-Mental Health

I love romance and all and I truly mean ALL things related to it. I have been given many lovely nick names over the years, but the one that sticks most is ‘love bunny’. My intense slant towards romance and love in general could have something to do with it 😉

Romance fills our thoughts, our dreams, the movies we watch, and almost anything we listen to. And why not? Romance is the very essence of life. It is the celebration love.

With Valentine’s Day coming up, thoughts are turning to love and romance. The men are getting cold sweats and the women are getting entitled. The candy and trinkets have been on the shelves since days. But there is another way to approach this celebration of love and giving – romance yourSelf!

Typically, we expect romance to come from a partner, a lover, or a significant other. Wanting to love and be loved is fundamental to our nature. Yet, when we don’t have that special someone in our lives, the absence of romance can leave us feeling dull. And sometimes, even when we do have a significant other, we still sometimes sense that lack luster feeling of detachment and emptiness.

It doesn’t matter if you have a partner or not. You don’t need to depend on another person for you to feel loved, whole and cherished. In fact, since the main person in your life is YOU, ideally you should be taking steps to honor and respect yourself every day.

What exactly is romance?

Everyone has their own specific definition of romance, but we can agree that romance means to have affection, to provide an interest in your own contributions, and to feel passion and strong feelings.

“Romancing Yourself” happens when you take life into your own hands – when you get to know yourself, spending time with your likes and your joys. When you romance yourself, you do the things that nourish and bring out your inner radiance. You place attention on the details that are important and meaningful. And you delight in your senses, opening up to how wonderful things smell, taste, look, and feel. Romance is the little things – showing yourself that you care.

19 Positive Ways to Romancing Yourself on Valentines Day or any other day:

Get to know, and appreciate, all of who you are! Below are nineteen ways to rekindle your love affair with yourself! Take yourself out on a date this valentine’s …. 😉

  1. Take yourself on your ideal date. What have you always wanted to be asked out to do? Here’s a secret: You don’t have to wait to be asked. Go ahead; splurge. You’re spending an evening with the most special person you’ll ever be blessed to meet: yourself.
  2. Treat yourself to that special restaurant, the one with the flower filled outdoor patio. Read your favorite book by the table’s candlelight, occasionally pausing to look up at the starry night sky.
  3. Take yourself out to a four star movie. Buy a big tub of popcorn. Laugh uproariously.
  4. Listen to what pleases your ears on a breezy summer afternoon. Let your eyes tear and your imagination wander.
  5. Spend a Sunday afternoon in the park. Watch the kids play catch catch, and be sure to walk barefoot in the cool grass.
  6. Keep a journal. Write down random thoughts, snippets of poetry, or your dreams. Draw a portrait of the person who always sits across from you on the bus/train ride to work.
  7. Spend an afternoon at the art museum. Melt into the paintings. Visit the natural history museum. Be a tyrannosaur. Hungrily devour the humans walking oh so quietly through the museum halls. Its fun to be with yourself 😉
  8. Play with Legos and colored pencils ¯ creativity is good for the soul.
  9. Sit quietly in your room early in the morning. Breathe soundly and listen to the sound of the dawn. Know your beauty in silence.
  10. Be generous to yourSelf materially. Yes, that means buying something just for you! Don’t wait for someone else to purchase something for you. If you have had your eye on that gorgeous set of earrings, then buy them! You, my dear, are worth it. He can buy you the matching necklace 😉
  11. Be generous to yourSelf with time. Instead of running around all day in a frenzy of activity for your job, family, school or whatever else you give your time to, take some time for you. Whether it be a day off of work, an hour long soak in the tub or ½ day curled up in a good book, give yourSelf permission to enjoy some down time.
  12. Forgive yourSelf. What’s done is done, and your expectations for yourSelf are probably higher than anything you’d ever ask of someone else. Whatever you feel you have done “wrong,” learn from it and forgive yourSelf. You’d do the same for another person, so why not for you?
  13. Let go. This goes hand in hand with forgiveness. If you find that you are carrying around anger or a grudge toward someone else, why not just let it go? The only person you are hurting is yourSelf – and that doesn’t make much sense, does it?
  14. Take care of your body. It is good to you, carrying you around and allowing you to get on with your life. Make sure you nourish it with healthy food once in a while, take supplements and get some exercise. Your body will thank you!
  15. Eliminate the word, “should.” Every “should” statement is laden with unnecessary guilt. If you say that you “should” do something, that means that someone else expects you to, perhaps even yourSelf. If your “should” is something that you honestly don’t want to do, then don’t do it. You always have a choice.
  16. Affirm yourSelf. You’re good enough, you’re smart enough, and doggone it, people like you!  Telling yourSelf wonderful things about yourSelf makes you feel great! If you hear something enough, you will begin to believe it. So why not make sure that you are hearing the good stuff?
  17. Pamper yourSelf. Treat yourself to a massage once a month, or once a week. Feel how good it is to be at home in your body. Go for a manicure, a pedicure, a massage or whatever else makes you feel special. After all, you ARE special and you deserve these things!
  18. Support yourSelf. People need people. Do you have a circle of friends that you can talk to? If so, spend some time with them. If not, brainstorm about how you can meet other women. Research has shown that women who have a close circle of friends feel more positive on a day-to-day basis.
  19. Replenish yourSelf. Spend some quiet time in prayer, meditation, walking in nature or whatever makes you feel connected to a Higher Power. Quieting your mind and connecting with something or someone bigger than you are can bring about an intense sense of inner peace.

Remember, Valentine’s Day is not the only time you can do these things! In fact doing them on a regular basis will improve your whole Self – physical, emotional and spiritual.

“Romancing Yourself” is all about nurturing your own beautiful, sensual connection with life. It’s about being in tune with who you are, and taking action to do the things that add spice to your life. When you romance yourself you feel more alive and more filled with love.

So, go ahead. Love yourself. Be good to yourself. Treat yourself well. Romance yourself and let life romance you in return.

You are the only one that you can totally depend on…and you’re worth it!

What are your thoughts on this romantic topic? Any suggestions to romance yourself up your sleeve? Do share in the comments. 

Special Note: On Valentine’s day be ready for a Super Special Article all dedicated to LOVE….I told you I love LOVE 😉 !!

With Immense Love & Gratitude,
~Zeenat~
Counseling Psychologist/ Spiritual Counselor
Motivational Speaker/Naturopath
Holistic Healer/Writer


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30 thoughts on “19 Positive ways to Romance Yourself this Valentine’s”

  1. This was a great post Zeenat!

    I’m single at the moment, so will be giving myself a big hug! 🙂 And I would like to wish you and the whole world a very Happy Valentine’s Day!

    1. Hi Hiten,
      Single or engaged, these romancing yourself tips will make you happier. A big hug to yourself my dear should just be the start.
      Thank you for you lovely comment here.
      Much love~

    1. Hi Angela,
      Oh it isn’t just valentines day…I’m kind of in love with love always 😉
      I’m so glad you liked this post…many a times we feel like we don’t need to celebrate love cause we are alone…but hey why not celebrate ourSelf with love 🙂
      Thank you for your sweet comment here.
      Much love~

  3. Zeenat,

    What a creative take on romance! You are so clever and so right on. There are so many people in this world that are alone and you’ve made Valentine’s Day special for them. You are a loving soul indeed. I want to pin this post up as a regular reminder of ways to care for myself.

    1. Darling Sandra,
      I think lonliness is over rated…and personally love my alone time 🙂 But I know that comfort level of being with myself has come after a lot of inner engineering.
      You take good care of yourself sweetie. You know I need you.
      Thank you for your loving words..you made my day!!
      Love you lots~

  4. Hi Love Bunny *grin*
    I love all things romance, too:) And I love date days with my self…thank you for reminding me!
    In the book “The Artist’s Way”, author Julia Cameron recommends taking your self on an artist’s date once a week–I enjoy researching places that I know I will like, but perhaps others in my life might not, and then going to them. Museums and restaurants, but also different stretches of beach or an out of town farmer’s market. It is wonderful to learn to treat your self and allow your self to be delighted, each and every day–then others, and Universe, may treat and delight us as well:)

    1. Hi Joy,
      My self lovin’ soul sister 😉
      When we love truly all things are whole and wonderful…an amazing feeling to reside in indeed.
      May we continue to revel in our every moment.
      So Much Love to you~

  5. Such a sweet post! Yes, love is great. And like charity, it begins at home, within us. Big hugs and Happy Valentines day to you, Zeenat! Love does make the world go round.

    1. Hi Vidya,
      Love is what makes it all worthwhile 🙂
      I’m so glad you liked this post …. may you have a super special and full of love valentines day.
      Much Love~

  6. Farida

    Thank’s for giving me permission to love myself now, i don’t have to feel guilty when i’m pampering myself.

    1. Oh Farida,
      You surely dont need permission to love yourself. Its your right to!
      Pamper yourself my dear.
      Have a super special valentines day and an even super life.
      I love seeing your comment here. Hope to see you more 🙂
      Much Love~

  7. Rand

    I must be warming up to being in a loving mood avec *Moi* at the present moment:

    #6 Wrote a poem about 3o minutes ago before reading this post.

    #7 Went to http://www.mingei.org/ Sunday.

    #18 Have decided to take the book dealer up on the offer to barter off my 1784 1st ed. Coxes ‘Travels Into Poland, Russia, Sweden, and Denmark’ for equal value at his daughter’s Yoga Studio…lots of *women* there!! 🙂

    #19 Had a wonderful walk this evening at the ocean. I was at total peace with the calm Pacific. The groups of gulls flying out to their floating night time kelp haven. The dolphin occasionally surfacing with a roaming ease to the setting sun. Loving smiles from strangers passing by.

    #3 Yes! The biggest box of popcorn! But instead of the **** how about a “Stoogethon”

    (about 4 hours of The Three Stooges movies)? 🙂 🙂 🙂

    #2 For anyone that plans on treating themselves to a Lobster dinner here’s something to get you in the mood: http://youtu.be/QH58jVrUA4E

    #9 I have been waking up earlier these mornings.

    #15 And with the fresh quietness of being in my room in preparation for the day what I honestly don’t want to do for someone else or for ‘yourSelf’, may I have the clarity of a healthy decision.

    #14 Is from you Zeenat! All the fruits from your labor of love has been placed upon my dinner table.

    Thank You Dear One…

  9. Zeenat…

    What a terrific post! There are several ideas that clicked with me. The one that had the most meaning was :
    Forgive yourSelf. What’s done is done, and your expectations for yourSelf are probably higher than anything you’d ever ask of someone else. Whatever you feel you have done “wrong,” learn from it and forgive yourSelf. You’d do the same for another person, so why not for you?

    I have found forgiving one self to be a continuous journey. Over time, it becomes dimmer but there are still moments where I catch the ‘judgmental’ ‘angry’ me. I know when I have those feelings about others that it’s actually how I feel about myself.

    Have a beautiful Valentine’s Day. xxxoo-Fran

    1. Hi Fran,
      Forgiveness indeed is an acquired habit…but once you ‘get’ it then healing is so so rapid. The best way to take care of self is to be kind to yourself…
      May you have an amazing valentines day!
      Thank you for your heartfelt comment here.
      Much love~

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  11. Zeenat, I look forward to romancing myself this Valentine day – and indeed every day from here on:-)

    Thanks for all your lovely tips and the fun way you have shared them.

    Happy Valentine’s Day to you too!

    1. Hi mr. A 😉
      Well you better have a love party wherever you are….the theme so happily needs to be YOU 🙂
      So glad you liked these tips..we all need a dash of romance na …
      Much love~

  12. What a beautiful list! I felt more loved just reading it.

    Last weekend my husband gave me the gift of #11. I started the morning running around, feeling frazzled. It was Sunday which “should” be a day of rest but rest is generally difficult with 3 young children (ages 2, 5 & 7). He took the kids with him to run some errands for most of the day as long as I promised to take care of myself (no working). I was in heaven!

    I sat out on the deck soaking in the sun, sipping my tea taking in the beautiful place where I live (mountaints of Colorado). Then I went inside for a relaxed, focused yoga practice followed by a great meditation. Then I took a long, hot bath. The last time I took a bath was when I was in labor with my youngest daughter.

    Needless to say, I was a new person when everyone arrived home. I’ll be doing something like this much more often.

    Thanks for providing more great ideas!
    Happy Valentine’s Day!!

    1. Oh Paige,
      You’re a lucky lucky gal to have such a caring hubby!
      I so get the sunday madness…my house is the same..and I have just one girl..how you manage with 3 is beyond me 🙂 you’re a courageous gal!
      More ‘me’ days means more energy for the family too.
      I hope you have a lot of lovely things panned for valentines 🙂
      Thank you for your loving comment here.
      Much love~

  13. Hey Zeenat ..

    What a beautiful piece of writing.
    What an awakening… We truly forget to love ourselves, accept ourselves,
    forgive ourselves and learn to let go ….
    I love what you said in one of your comments ..That you Just Love ,to Love…
    I can relate. … not that being so giving and vulnerable helps at times lol
    I am so grateful I came across your blog today.
    Hope you read more of your beautiful thoughts….

    Prayers,
    Kiran Shaikh.

    1. Dear Kiran,
      I’m so happy that you came here to share your gorgeous energy too!
      And yeah I do love to love 😉 its my ultimate strength and weakness !
      You go ahead and love yourself and have a super valentines day.
      Thank you for your beautiful comment here.
      Much love~

  14. Hello Zeenat! Firstly I love that gorgeous pic of yours on this post! 🙂 And I loved your post even more coz its so much about what I emphasized on my post (blog) today! WOW. I’m going to be following you.

    I’m going to just patiently read through your blog tomorrow. 🙂 There’s so much positivity here that I wanna come back! 🙂

    1. Hi Jen,
      Firstly I love the name of your blog. I’m a butterfly lover too! Yay!!
      Please do come back and soak in all you want here. If you need any more help with anything do not hesitate to email me. I’m always happy to help.
      I’ll come over to your side of the blogosphere soon to see what your butterfly self is sharing 🙂
      Thank you for your amazing comment here.
      Much love~

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