“I feel keeping a promise to yourself is a direct reflection of the love you have for yourself. I used to make promises to myself and find them easy to break. Today, I love myself enough to not only make a promise to myself, but I love myself enough to keep that promise” ~ Steve Maraboli
As 2020 inches closer and closer, we all get into the introspecting mode. We will think about the year ending in terms of achievements, high points, low points, successes, failures, learning points etc. Introspection and a constant need to be a better more evolved human(e) being makes us think of the year that’s gone by in a learning light.
I have definitely learnt a whole LOT this past year. And to be honest, this has been a hard year for me in many aspects: emotionally draining, physically challenging etc. One of the major reasons I can look at the year gone by in a positive light, is because I have managed to keep the positive promises to myself from last year. These positive promises to myself help me stay on track. They help me to balance myself, no matter how hard things get throughout the year.
Why New Year Resolutions don’t work!
I have noticed over the years that the first week of January brings in the resolution makers. Everywhere you go, there will be talk of what new year resolutions you have made etc etc. The energy around it is also good to begin with. But by the second week of January, the resolutions are forgotten or broken.
As another NEW YEAR sets in, we WILL be pulled into the ‘making resolutions’ race. Yes its the IN thing to do and discuss in the last week of the old year and first week of the new year….but is it really worth it?
These resolutions don’t make you achieve anything. Its funny how everyone comes up with these mammoth resolutions at the end of every year only to break them in a few weeks or months into the new year.
This is why I stopped making new year resolutions many years back. In-fact I downright banished them from my psyche, because I hated how they made me feel when I “couldn’t” live up-to my own oh so high standards. You will not believe it, but my unhealed self used to make outrageously unrealistic resolutions, only to torture myself later when I couldn’t keep them. It took me many many years to realize that this was causing more havoc than healing in me. I have since devised an all year round positive alternative ~ Promises to Myself.
5 Positive Promises for a Truly Happy 2020
“Promises are the uniquely human way of ordering the future, making it predictable and reliable to the extent that this is humanly possible.” ~ Hannah Arendt
Each year I add to these promises to myself and evaluate my healing progress in terms of how well I have been able to keep these gentle promises.
When it comes to promises to myself as compared to resolutions, I find I am more than just kind to myself while making these promises. Because a promise usually comes straight from the heart. The journey towards keeping that promise then becomes a soul nurturing experience full of new learning and happiness.
Over the past few years I have made many promises to myself and very successfully so. These promises make me feel like am indeed creating positive change IN me and around me. These promises bring happiness in my hands for me to choose and make mine as I so please.
Let me share them with you today, so that you too may live a positively empowered and happy life…..today, tomorrow, next year, to infinity and beyond.
The most important person you need to keep promises to, is yourself.
1) “I promise to be Honest and Respectful to myself and others”
To promise to yourself that you will be honest means, you know dishonesty is always negative. But be honest in a positive way. Say what you truly mean, but keep it based on fact. Avoid personal comments and gossip. Speak well of others whenever possible, and speak well of yourself too.
Respect others enough to assume that they mean well unless there is evidence to the contrary. For example, if someone makes a negative or dismissive remark about your work, don’t take it personally and fire off a negative snappy response. Instead, think about the remark for a moment, and see if there is anything you can learn from it. Let the other person know that you appreciate their being so open with you, but say calmly that you found their approach very confrontational. (Some people are genuinely unaware that they come across as aggressive.)
Being a positive and respectful person doesn’t mean you are a doormat – it means you are a strong person who can assess the meaning of someone’s words without being distracted by their mode of expression.
2) “I promise to believe in my Enoughness.”
To believe in your enoughness simply means to believe yourself, your abilities, your passions, your dreams, your goals and your wholeness. TO believe that you are complete and whole just as you are. You dont need to be thinner or fatter or taller or richer or better. You simply need to know that you are complete just the way you are. That you and only you are enough in this Divine light in which you were created.
This was a hard one for me to get to…and to be honest I’m still a work in progress with this one. But this healing promise has allowed me to let go of self judgment and that of others radically! Every-time I start feeling not good enough I tell myself, “I am Enough. I am Whole. I am complete.” This affirmation might seem small, but look at yourself in the mirror and tell this to yourself with complete and utter self-belief, you will feel how powerful it is. There are days I cry when I tell myself this, because those are the days I don’t feel good enough…but when I embrace the Divinity within, it becomes easier to believe in my own Enoughness.
3) “I promise to Love Myself no matter what.”
To love yourself means to accept yourself as you are warts, moles, bulges, big personality, craziness and all. To truly accept myself and come to a point where I feel comfortable in my own skin was the hardest thing I have had to do. I had addictions, issues with body image, complexes etc. We cannot truly enjoy happiness if we are not at peace with ourself. Our relationship with ourself is the most important one we’ll ever have.
Today, with this new found love for self, I don’t depend on others for my happiness. I am my own happiness. I create my own freedom, my own life…the way I want it, without anyone else’s influence. Simply because, my whole being feels loved and whole.
Self-love means that your well-being matters to yourself unconditionally and in practical terms: (a)Who you are is more important than what you are. (b) You are valuable. Nothing can change that. (c) What you want always matters, always!
4) “I promise to Let Go of any and all negativity IN me and around me.”
To let go of negativity means to let go of all that is holding you back from emerging into your truest self. You must let go of past pain through forgiveness. You must let go of limiting beliefs by opening your mind to learning. You must let go of fear by going forth and doing what frightens you. You must let go of toxic relationships that are preventing you from being your True self. You must let go of self judgement by loving yourself. You must let go of sadness by adding conscious dashes of happiness in your life. You must let go of bad habits by replacing them with positive habits. You must let go of all that doesn’t nourish your heart and soul.
It is only when we can consciously let go of all that is negative in our lives, that we can make space for the positive. I began letting go many years back…slowly. One step at a time. Its a process of learning and evolving into your highest self. And this is one process that follows us beyond this physical life. It dawned on me a while back, that all that I had become was the sum total of what OTHERS wanted me to become….that was like a jolt of gigantic proportions. The first step of letting go of negativity is always always always Forgiveness of self. For when our heart is pure our world automatically adjusts to become more positive and happy.
5) “I promise to make everyday my best day yet.”
To make everyday your best day yet means to make sure that you live everyday like it was your last. You don’t live with regrets and “should’ves”. You seize every moment of everyday.
MY EVERYDAY PROMISE TO MYSELF: Everyday of every year, I make a Promise to Myself to be braver than my past, to be stronger than the struggle… So that I may enjoy new and exciting adventures everyday.
Give yourself a gift by making these FIVE POSITIVE PROMISES to yourself. These are promises your future(more happier!) self will thank you for. And, when you make a promise to yourself like the ones above, your heart will tune into it and create pathways where you never thought possible. All those tiny resolutions like losing weight, getting a promotion, moving to another country, finding your true love, financial independence, abundance….will automatically manifest right in front of you EFFORTLESSLY….because you made space for it by letting go and loving yourself enough.
A gentle suggestion: I’m creating a picture based list of the 5 Positive Promises for 2020 below. Please save it either on Pinterest or download and print it and keep it handy. You can write them down in your journal as well. This way these promises will stay in front of you and serve as a constant reminder to stay on the positive healing track all year round.
LET a Happier, Healed and more Positive YOU emerge in 2020!
This 2020, resolve to banish negativity and help yourself to a truly Happy New year and New Life.
For last year’s words belong to last year’s language
And next year’s words await another voice.
And to make an end is to make a beginning.
~T.S. Eliot, “Little Gidding”
What are your thoughts on new year resolutions? How many have you made only to be broken? Will you be making these positive promises to yourself this new year? Share your beautiful thoughts in the comments on this article. I’d love to hear from you!
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❤ Love always, ~Zeenat~ ❤