“Don’t try to force anything. Let life be a deep let-go. God opens millions of flowers every day without forcing their buds.” ~ Osho

Are you suppressing your emotions?

Anger, sadness, joy, and shame are all common feelings that play an important role in daily life. When people have a hard time expressing or accepting these feelings, they may be struggling with suppressed emotions. Sometimes suppressed emotions are part of the bigger picture, which could include substance use or mood disorders that need professional help to heal from.

Understanding Suppressed Emotions

Everyone at some time or the other in their life do suppress emotions. Sometimes, we may consciously or unconsciously choose to avoid experiencing certain emotions because we believe we are unable to handle them. In doing so, we push these emotions deep down within ourself.

However, it’s important to recognize that suppressing emotions is not a healthy coping mechanism. In fact, it can have negative consequences for mental, emotional and physical health.

People who often suppress their emotions may find themselves feeling numb or disconnected from others. They may struggle to express themselves effectively as if their emotions are totally numb. Suppression of emotions can lead to a buildup of anxiety, irritability, or moodiness, as the suppressed emotions continue to exert their influence. It may even create a constant state of fight-or-flight response, where there is a feeling of always being on edge.

Physically, suppressing emotions can manifest in the form of frequent headaches, gut issues, migraines, body aches, pains, fatigue, insomnia, etc. These physical manifestations serve as reminders that our mind and body are very connected. When emotional distress is not taken care of, it can take a toll on our overall well-being.

How to recognise if you are suppressing your emotions?

Why does this happen? It’s because emotions are meant to be felt and processed – not suppressed or avoided. They should be used as data points to indicate things like your tolerance level, joys, sorrows, what is acceptable to you and what is not good for you.

If you’re doing any of these things, there’s a high chance that you’re living life on autopilot without the help of your emotions at all.

1. If you tend to shut down during conflict instead of being direct. When you need time to think you dont know how to ask for space or share that you are done with a conversation.
2. If you always say you are fine and pretend that you are, just to keep the peace in your relationships. Speaking up feels like confrontation, which is difficult for you to handle.
3. If you put conditions on your sense of worth. You believe that you will feel fulfilled after you lose weight or after you get married or after you get the promotion. You struggle with accepting your present life.
4. If you try to control people or most situations because it makes you feel powerful and important. Its hard for you to not be the centre of attention and to see and to see someone else in that spot from time to time.
5. If you aim for perfection as a way to be admired. You tend to feel overwhelmed trying to avoid mistakes or appear a certain way. Your self value comes from how others see you.
6. If you try to people please or empathise without understanding your limits and then burnout. You find yourself in situations where others needs are frequently prioritised over your own.
7. If you mask your authentic emotions and try to replace them with more acceptable ones. You find it hard to be vulnerable in front of others when it comes to feelings, fears, emotions etc.

How to Regulate and NOT suppress your Emotions

In terms of handling and regulating difficult(or painful) emotions, there are two ways most people respond: They act out or they suppress. Neither are healthy in the long run.

If you act out with a strong emotion like anger, you will most likely have negative consequences in your relationships, your work, and even your play. Acting out usually provokes more anger around you, which leads to more difficult emotions to tackle. The consequences of suppressing those big emotions can be even more dangerous.

-> There IS another, more healthy way to regulate your emotions: To actually Feel the feeling in real time.

If you can visualise it, emotions are like energy waves, varying in shape and intensity, just like ocean waves. By nature they arise and pass away pretty quickly, like all natural phenomena. If you attempt to interrupt this process, through acting out or suppressing, several things can happen.

Anyone who’s had a deep-tissue massage knows and understands how the body holds suppressed feelings. Suppression gets held in the body and creates a host of downstream effects, including anxiety, depression, stress-related illness, all the way to substance abuse and suicide.

2 Ways to Regulate your Emotions

1. Mindfulness helps you feel your emotions in real time

Research into emotional regulation suggests that mindfulness-based interventions (MBIs) can be helpful.

When it comes to regulating your emotions, you need to first and foremost be able to acknowledge that you are having this feeling. So, label the feeling as either anger or sadness or pain or frustration etc. Once you can label the feeling, be mindful of not reacting to it, rather just feeling it in the moment. Visualise a wave in your mind, like a hightide and then see it recede back and calm down. Remember to do deep breaths while you are allowing the feeling to pass.

2. Talk therapy helps you process your emotions in the right way

One of the most common treatments for suppressed emotions is talk therapy. This type of therapy can help you understand your emotions and why you’re suppressing them. It can also teach you healthy coping mechanisms for dealing with your emotions.

My speciality as a therapist is to teach my clients how to regulate their emotions, heal and self-soothe. I’m passionate about this work because the impact is truly life-changing. It helps you have healthier relationships, feel better in your body, make thoughtful decisions, and SO much more.

If you’re ready to start this healing journey, send me a message and let’s work together to help you regulate your emotions. I’m here for you 🩷

What has helped you to deal with suppressed emotions? Share in the comments. I would love to learn from you.

🩷If you’d like 1-on-1 counseling sessions and spiritual guidance with me, come on over here.

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