“But how will I know who my soul mate is?”
One of the most significant questions I get asked is the Soul Mate question. In my time and experience as a Psychological and Spiritual Counselor, I have answered countless questions for my patients, who were wondering who their Soul Mates are, and whether they are with the Love of Their Life.
This is perhaps one of my favorite questions and topics, as the exploration of a Soul Mate is truly a spiritual journey – one that I am privileged to share with my readers and patients.
As I connect with each individual, we exchange the energies that influence the life path, the choices in partners, lessons in love, and explore spiritual imbalances that need to be realigned. This is a sacred connection that I treasure and consider as more of a spiritual counseling.
From the time I could read romance novels which was when I was about 13, with raging hormones and innocence, I often thought of a soul mate as only a lover and nothing more. But in time, with learning, and experience my definition of my soul mates has evolved.
Notice I said “Soul-Mates“
Yup, I believe we each have many many soul mates in our lifetime. The problem most of the time, is our sense of expectation of what a soul mate is supposed to be. The normal definition that we are fed with through romance novels truly does not do this beautifully divine connection any justice.
We each have numerous Soul Mates who take on various forms as we walk through our life time. We may re-encounter them as Lovers, Friends, and Family Members and even as Pets and Nature(butterflies, fish, flowers..). The most important factor is the deep emotional bond we share with each Soul and the ensuing life lessons that we will learn while we encounter them.
What greater thing is there for two human souls than to feel that they are joined for life? … to strengthen each other…to be at one with each other in silent unspeakable memories.~George Eliot
This joining, this knowing, this heart connection happens in an instant. That kind of bond never breaks. No amount of time, distance or indifference can deteriorate that bond. Infact, in most cases, the distance, the time and the indifference actually deepens the bond of the soul.
How do I know who is my soul mate?
Here are a few signs of a true soul mate:
-a soul mate is someone you feel a supreme level of comfort and security with. That doesn’t mean that there aren’t issues that remain to be ironed out. But, it simply means we know intuitively that we can resolve issues with our soul mate without losing his or her love and respect.
-a soul mate is someone you can be completely YOU with. No veils, no pretenses, no artificial makeup….just raw YOU. The right soul mate infact brings out the best in you, without even trying too hard.
-a soul mate is that one person we are completely safe with. No matter what else goes wrong around us, with that one person we’re safe in our own heaven.
Finding your soul mate is not that hard to do, cause they usually come before us and present themselves in some form on our life’s path. Whats hard to do though is fall and get hurt in the process of finding that soul mate.
Fall a bit, heal a bit, learn a bit but Never stop looking for love.
So long as you are in the process of loving with all your heart, the search will provide for you answers in the many souls you encounter on the way.
Your spiritual growth is astounding till you actually find that soul mate. Once you find your soul mate, your spiritual growth becomes a million times more astounding.
When the time is right, when its meant to be you will Know your soul mate
Like I admitted in the first part of this Happy Relationships Series of articles- that I’ve had a string of bad relationships. What I know without a doubt, is that those relationships were just not meant to be. The relationships, bonds and heart connections that developed because of many of those bad relationships, STILL stand strong. It just goes to show, that true love and true heart connections cant be severed.
As I look at my life today, I feel blessed to be surrounded by heart connections I so deeply cherish. The many many soul mates of this life time ‘get’ me. I am open to many more soul mates, many more heart connections, many more loves….but the one truest love of mine remains yet untouched and on a completely different level altogether. Thank You to my darling Husband for opening my heart and shining the light In me. I’m so so extremely lucky to have found you and recognized you.
Let me give you one simple example of how I know my husband is my truest soul mate: If I’m deep in thought, he knows what I’m thinking. If I feel a need or desire for something, he makes it appear before me without even asking. If I’m unsure of myself, he makes me feel like the queen of the Universe. He gives me wings and the wind to fly too!
Aint I the luckiest gal 🙂
But, it took me a long long while to find him, recognize him and appreciate him. It took a lot of heart ache, a lot of pain and lot of healing after which I found him. But the bottom line- I did find my soul mate, because I was completely open to love. He just happened to have the key, to the lock, that was on my heart.
Next week we will dwell into the world of soar relationships and how we can add a dash of happiness and health to them and us. If you want me to write about a particular type of relationship problem, please let me know in the comments below, by emailing or by messaging me on facebook. I’ll be sure to include your answer in the next article.
Please Note: This article is the 3rd part in the series of articles on “Happy Relationships”. From Self-love, to Giving love, to Finding your soul mate, to having happy healthy loving relationships….all will be unraveled in this “Happy Relationships Series” of articles. Be sure to be subscribed(by clicking here) so that you don’t miss any part of this Heart Opening Series.
What are YOUR thoughts on this topic?
What is Your definition of a soul mate? Have you found your soul mate or soul mates as yet? Do share your precious thoughts and stories in the comments below. You know this is kind of my favorite topic, so all the mushy romantic details would really light up this discussion 🙂
With Immense Love & Gratitude,
~Zeenat~
Counseling Psychologist/ Spiritual Counselor
Motivational Speaker/Naturopath
Holistic Healer/Writer
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I love this. I have nothing to add, but thank you for the 3rd eye opening. 🙂
Hi Jeanie,
Oh I’m so so glad you share my love for all things soulmates 🙂 Ahhh and third eye opening..hmmm……what do you see now that your third eye is all active??
Thank you for stopping by and sharing your thoughts sweetie.
Much Love~
this is so true…
Open up to love and continues seeking is the key to find your soul mate….
I do believe in soul mates and fairy tales….
Hi Cherry,
So you agree with my approach too 🙂 And arent all creatures of the Divine just beautiful beyond words…be it our soulsmates or fairies 🙂 There is amazing magic when you open up a bit na…
Thank you for your lovely comment here.
So Much Love~
What a great topic! I’m very inspired to hear that we can have many soul mates in our lifetime. How wonderful! My relationship with my husband is growing, evolving, and deepening. We love each other more now than ever. So I think this qualifies as a soul mate although I don’t know if we match every bit of your description. Thanks for this uplifting piece.
Darling Sandra,
Sometimes mere definitions cant describe the soul’s connection to the other. Hence whether your relationship with your husband fits my definition or not is immaterial..whats important is you feel it in your very core for it to be ‘right’. May your relationship with your hubby grow to great heights.
I do see a bit of my soul mate material in you though 🙂 Thank you for that.
Lots of love~
Dear Zeenat,
This is so beautiful on so many levels…and probably the best definition of a “soul mate” that I’ve ever heard. I fully agree with you, and I just so happen to be sitting in the same room with two of my soul mates. 🙂
Hi Adrienne,
Two soulmates in the same room..it must be your luckiest day yet hmm 🙂 its amazing how much at ease we become once we know we have found our soul mate. I’m so happy you liked my soulmate definition.
Thank you fro your wonderful comment here.
Much love~
Hi Zeenat,
This was fabulous. I agree with you too. I have friends that I consider soul mates. My best friend was my son in another life. I believe we come back together in soul groups. You are so lucky to have such a blessed relationship with your husband. It’s wonderful to hear about such a loving relationship too – give me hope~! (thank you for linking to my post too)
Dearest Angela,
I love soul groups….and it makes for such rich living when these soul mates actually come together in life na.
My hubby is my savior among many other things…
We often think that good relationships dont happen…or are a myth…but they can be a reality if we operate from our heart center.
I love your writing sweetie…linking to you comes naturally 🙂
Thank you for your lovely comment here.
Much Love~
Zeenat at this point in my life I have a “raw” desire to share some *warm rolls* at 4:00 a.m. with *my truest soul mate*.
I have expressed this desire before.
Yes…I am a romantic old fool.
I really appreciate the fact that…
“When the time is right, when its meant to be you will Know your soul mate”
I really appreciate the fact that…
” The many many soul mates of this life time ‘get’ me.”
Thank you Zeenat and others for *getting* me.
The ending to this movie has been the embodiment of my idea of two *truest soul mates* for the longest time…I just know this genuine love is out there on the street somewhere at 4:00 a.m. in the morning to share:
I am very happy for you and your husband…
Hi Rand,
Thank you so so much for your beautiful and heartfelt comment here. Genuine love is out there…for sure. At the right time and the right place…when its meant to be 🙂
Hubby and me are like two bodies one soul … which becomes very difficult when he is away 😦
Pray for us.
Much Love~
I am more traditional with the definition of “soul mates” when I do intuitive readings. For me, it means a relationship that is held at soul-level, which can go back to past lives. There is an agreement to return to Earth to help each other to evolve, grow and transcend. Because of the word “mates”, I take it to mean a relationship that is more likely to be romantic. Yes, in a way, there can be more than one soul mate because relationships can start and they can end.
With friends, I don’t call them as “soul mates”. We are more likely “soul friends”. We are probably from the same soul group, meaning that we are once again here to help each other on our spiritual journeys. However, the relationship is less intense as compared to “soul mates”. With “soul mates”, they tend to project and illuminate our fears more intensely for us; thus offering us a greater opportunity to learn.
I believe that your definition of soul mates can be just as valid as the one I’ve described above. What is more important is having the clarity to explain what we mean when we use the words and explain our findings and understanding to clients.
It’s great that you have found a soul mate in your husband. It’s a gift. Wonderful!
Hi Evelyn,
Your definition and thoughts on soul mates are perfectly valid and natural.
I too have a lot of soul friends and even soul sisters….but I do consider them to be mates of mine on the core level, where we love and support each other no matter what. Where we ‘get’ each other….feel safe with each other.
I suppose its just a matter of words…truly what is felt by the heart is all that matters….then whoever the soul connection leads to doesnt matter right… 🙂
I cherish my hubby and what we have everyday….
Thank you so much for sharing your beautiful thoughts here. I appreciate learning from you.
Much Love~
Hello Zeenat,
Thank you for sharing your views and wisdom.
I would like to clarify further. While I privately hold definitions that are more expansive on what soul mates are, I realize that most of my clients don’t have the same understanding. When they ask about the possibility of meeting their soul mates, I know that they are asking about having a romantic relationship. It will be odd to assume that they are referring to soul sisters, friends or pets. That is why I shared in my earlier comment: I am more traditional with the definition of “soul mates” when I do intuitive readings.
I am thinking that it will be helpful to explain what we use broader definitions to our clients otherwise they will get confused and feel as if we are not answering their questions about whether or not they are going to meet that special someone. There are different levels of soul mate agreements and hence, it would be nice to make clear to clients whether we make a distinction between “soul friend” or a romantic “soul mate”. When we check-in intuitively, clear questions with clear definitions lead to clear answers.
Like you, I am very lucky too. My husband is my soul mate, who has been with me
for several past lives. We have an agreement to help each other on our spiritual journeys. I have also soul sisters whom I experience deep connection with.
I am happy that you brought up this topic on soul mates. It has allowed me to align my thoughts with greater clarity. Thank you!
With love,
Evelyn
Agreee… with your definitions of the soulmates… Comfort, safety and yes, trust… to just be you… 🙂
Hi PNA!
Oh awesome! Heres praying you find your soul mate soon..and write about it for all of us to know 😉
Much Love~
Beautiful article. I too, believe in soulmates. Finding someone who sees the world the same way you do at all angles is a very beautiful thing. It’s great that you are married to yours.
Hi Jenna,
Soul mates dont necessarily see the world the same way as we do, but they understand and support our thinking to such a level that it gives us strength to fly. Its more like being on different life paths, but ascending hand in hand.
Thank you for your beautiful thoughts here and I love that you stopped by to share your thoughts….May you find your soul mate soon…
Much love~
I absolutely agree. Many, many people come to me/my site by typing “signs you’ve met your soulmate”. I don’t think there is that one and only “soul mate” out there – they can come in all kinds of packages: friends, lovers, siblings, parents. Like Angela, I believe we come into this incarnation in soul groups and have soul contracts with certain souls…and they’re all our soul mates, in a sense!
Hi Lindsay,
Youre so right ….
I believe these soul contracts come forth in the form of undeniable heart connections. And yes they ARE our soul mates….what a beautiful gift from the Divine na…
Angela and you need to hook up..I’m sure you’ll have a blast 🙂
Thank you so much for your heart warming comment here. I appreciate it.
So Much Love~
Dear Zeenat,
I do not believe there is one and only one romantic, sweep you off your feet soul-mate out there for each of us. I believe holding onto that “one and only one soul-mate” belief means that we overlook the other possible partners we could form mutually supportive, and loving long term relationships with. Moreover, I believe it disables us from discovering we all have multiple soulmates.
Some people use this definition: the romantic belief that every person soul has a single counterpart and true happiness and fulfillment can only be found by meeting and joining with that one and only one soul mate. Well, In order to ascribe to the one and only one soul mate or twin soul belief one has to agree that they are incomplete in and of themselves, and that they require another person to complete them.
It seems to me that if one clings to the belief that there is only one person out there who is the correct partner for them then other questions arise.
(1) Isn’t it amazing that those who claim they found the perfect soul mate to complete them found that person living in their own locale and did not have to travel the world over to find them?
(2) Isn’t it amazing that those who claim they found the perfect soul mate to complete them found a person of similar ethnic and cultural background, who spoke the same language, and who had similar educational, economic and social status as well?
(3) Isn’t it amazing that after ten years have gone by that only 4 out of every 10 marriages of people who claimed they had found their perfect soul mate did not end in divorce?
IMO clinging to the romantic notion that we are all incomplete individuals, who require a special one and only one other person in this world who is our perfect soul mate to complete us, is an erroneous and self defeating belief that leads to pain and suffering more often than it leads to joy and long lasting commitment.
When one has achieved enough maturity to be able to love their “self” and to acknowledge the truth that they are in fact, a whole person, then they have soemthing worth offering to another in a relationship that will endure the test of time.
Others people use this definition: Soul mate is a term sometimes used to designate someone with whom one has a feeling of deep and natural affinity, friendship, love, intimacy, spirituality and/or compatibility.
I believe each of us can have many soul mates who meet the criteria in the second definition that I have posted above. This is because I have met people of varying ages and of both sexes with whom I have shared such a deep natural affinity immediately upon our meeting. I have also experienced the fact there are other possible soul mates (refer to the second definition I posted above) that I could have successfully partnered with in this life, aside from the man that I married.
To suggest that my relationship with my husband whom I have loved so deeply for over 30 years is the only soulmate relationship I have or ever will have is patently untrue. I have a soulmate who is an elderly woman possesed of great wisdom. I met her when I was only four years old and immediately knew we had met before in another time and space — where I do not know. She was my great grandmother’s friend and we remain connected in a veru precious way. With her I have always been authentically me, safe and open. I have another soulmate, I met 26 years ago. He is a middle aged shaman and elder of his people. We are both married and both faithful to our partners. Our eyes met across a room and we both knew we had met previously meant to meet in that room that day. From him I have learned the ways of his people.
Unfortunately, people have confused sex attraction and romance with the true nature of a soulmate. My truth is that not every soulmate is a sex partner.
Thank you for for posting this thought provoking article.
With much love,
TiTI
Darling TiTi,
I agree with you completely and on all counts of your comment here. I have similar thoughts and beliefs. The eternal confusion between sexual attraction and soul connection really needs to be clarified to so many out there.
And to add…After having one bad marriage and many failed relationships when mine and my husbands paths crossed, we were both and still are flabbergasted as to how similar everything in our life was-from childhood to our families to our thoughts and spiritual beliefs….there was and is so much sync there. I suppose when we are meant to connect we connect irrespective of age, time and geographical location. Like when I met my hubby i was in Mumbai only for a short while and didnt expect that meeting or chance encounter to become a life long blissful state of living. Its amazing the ways we can connect na.
I too have many many soul mates in the form of friends and relatives. My favorite form of soul connection is my connect with butterflies 🙂 They hover over me at almost any given time….:) some butterflies come and stay in house with me and some follow me around to most places…
Thank you so much for sharing your amazing insight here and shedding light on this topics…I love love love learning from you 🙂
So Much Love~
Dear Zeenat,
Your words strengthened my position. My heart soared when I read them because your truth is my truth.
“We each have numerous Soul Mates who take on various forms as we walk through our life time. We may re-encounter them as Lovers, Friends, and Family Members and even as Pets and Nature(butterflies, fish, flowers..). The most important factor is the deep emotional bond we share with each Soul and the ensuing life lessons that we will learn while we encounter them.”
Love and peace,
TiTi
P.S. I also share the connection you have with butterflies the symbol of transformation.
“Fall a bit, heal a bit, learn a bit but Never stop looking…” – That’s so lovely, just perfectly stated. That is the tone of lightness needed to accept that choosing alliances that have a better chance of succeeding takes practice. You have to allow yourself chances to learn.
While I do believe we encounter all sorts of beings who fit the lessons we need to learn, I don’t really believe in the soul mate idea as that term is used in the West. Here, some people think that if you don’t find “the one”, your relationship is doomed, and they will use excuses to avoid working on them. To me, love is the most renewable of resources. People with little outward compatibility can make it work if they are committed to making it happen.
Hi Mikey! I love seeing you here… as always let me *bow* in thy energy 🙂
And what you state here about love..thats marvelous! I too believe that love can truly heal all. But sometimes the notion of ‘the one’ makes it difficult for someone to work on that particular relationship. Who says ‘the one’ also has to be problem free. Like I said there are always going to be creases to iron out…but knowing that you can do that ironing out without harm to the relationship at hand…makes for amazing living. There is no such thing as a perfect relationship…but there is such things as a perfect soul connection. That soul connection eventually makes for a blissful relationship..dont you think..
Compatibility on the heart level is what matters most….anything can be worked out then.
Thank you fro your amazing thoughts here as always.
I am going to stalk you on skype soon 😉 Hoping all is well at your end….been too long since we caught up na…
Much Love~
…interesting?
I just mentioned to my daughter at dinner this evening that once she is off to college in 5 days that her dog Talula will be a “soul mate” that she will really miss.
Remeber that Zeenat mentioned even a pet can be a *soul mate*?
I just can’t understand the big fuss some are making over definition, need, love, what ever have you, regards *soul mate”.
Your all alive… though some seem digital…Zeenat covered this topic with great clarity…so where’s the beef?…or if your vegitarian…where’s the tofu?…or if you are digital…wheres the chip?
Bottom line?
Zeenat at this stage in her life is with her “truest soul mate” and that is all that really counts in their world… isn’t it?
Zeenat,
“I am very happy for you and your husband…”
P.S. My daughter and I had dinner at this long established and popular restuarant:
http://www.jyotibihanga.com/
Hi Rand,
Youre sweet 🙂 There is no fuss over the definition..just different points of views and different experiences. I love learning from each and every one of these comments…cause they each come in with their own experience from their souls. We might all have different ways of looking at soul mates…but ultimately noone can deny the soul and heart connection when it happens. May we each find and experience the bliss of finding and enjoying our soulmates.
Your daughter is lucky to have you to guide her 🙂
Thank you for sharing your precious thoughts here.
Much love~
Thank you Zeenat,
Yes…silly me.
Since I do not have a *truest soul mate* perhaps I am being protective of the soul and heart connection that others share because I value this so much. I do not want them to be like me.
I pray that my daughters will have their truest soul mates…not a just a person that will love some things about them and then leave them.
Yes…I will pray for you and your husband.
Actually, as my daughter has matured I find that she often *guides* me. She is a vegetarian and is influencing her younger sister and myself to become the same. She suggested that I take the Sunday meditation classes at Jyotibihanga. If you are ever in San Diego, this restuarant has been a fixture on Adams Ave for many years…try the ‘Neat Loaf’!
Dear Zeenat, thx for this wonderful article. I also do believe in soul mates. If you are able to convers without speaking or if both are saying the exact same words at the exact same moment, then I know I found my soul mate. 🙂
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I have always believed that we have more than one soul mate and I have had a series of bad relationships. I am still looking for that one soul mate. Sometimes I panic because I feel time is running away and I am yet to find that love. God bless you for finding your soul mate. What happens when you love a man who cannot be yours in this lifetime, do you still hold on to him, knowing he is a very close soul mate of yours or do you move on with your heart open to more deeper connections with another soul mate?
Hi there, I just thought I’d drop by and leave some love, you’re articles are great and so inspirational you make my day. keep going 🙂
Hi Nushrah,
Thank you so much for your loving words here…I must say you made my day here 🙂 I;m glad you like the articles here and hope you draw inspirations from them and use it in your life.
Sending you lots of love~
it’s simply awesome…..i just look back in too my heart…thank you for your wonder full article..
Would love to keep up with and very much interested in this
Zeenat,
This is beautiful and describes perfectly how I feel about someone. I met him in a random city and it really felt like an instant, unbreakable bond. We live on opposite coasts and have been in near constant communication since we met. Our bond has only gotten stronger.
The problem is – he is married.
Do you have any advice?
“Rose”