‘The quality of your life is the quality of your relationships.’~ Anthony Robbins
In the last article in this series I spoke of and discussed the immediate need for us to begin loving our-self before we can do any justice to any of the relationships in our lives.
There was a certain cycle of a Happy Relationship that I shared, which is : self love-give love-heal-self love.
In this part lets discuss ‘giving love’ to actually rejuvenate our existing relationships and even make new ones. What do I actually mean by rejuvenate? I mean, infuse *life* in our already existing relationships around us. How? Now aint that the pressing question of the hour 😉
How to Rejuvenate each and every Relationship in your life?
The answer is simple. “Give Love”. But hey, you already know that na….so why am I telling you this again…its because our perception of giving is attached to our perception of getting too. We give only when we know we are gonna get something back in return. Ok most of the time, that is the case. Yup, we dont want to admit this fact…but its the bitter truth. We keep thinking why everyone around us doesnt care about our feelings, when in all reality, when was the last time you really really cared about theirs?
We love to point fingers and pick on another’s faults, but we forget to see our-self in the mirror and admit, that ‘yes, maybe I’m not the biggest giver and carer of love either.’
Let me give you an example- A little misunderstanding emerged between bestest of friends. Friends for over 20 years. The misunderstanding- ‘She didn’t call me for a month. She doesn’t care about me. How many times should I keep calling? If she doesn’t care, why should I?’
The Truth- The friend who didnt call for a whole month or was distracted, was actually dealing and coping with the advent of her young sons newly diagnosed cancer. Hence, wasn’t in the state to probably chit chat.
The solution- If one person shuts down, the other needs to try to understand why that’s happening, rather than become judgmental and crass about the whole relationship, which in truth can be truly damaging to the said relationship. The solution is “give love”. Be there. Dont give anything with expectation. Rather give cause you want to. You feel from the heart to. Even in the worst of situations, genuine love brings about a positive response.
Give Love Completely
Giving love is not that hard to do. Infact its more natural than you think. Everytime you look at a little child, everytime you see a cute puppy, everytime you see a person in need, everytime your heart gets tugged….its a sign for you to GIVE LOVE. And I know Your heart gets tugged many many times everyday and with every relationship you have around you. So there is ample opportunity to Rejuvenate those relationships and even make new ones too!
There are many ways you can Give Love completely-
- Smile- When youre at the grocery store, smile at every passerby. Every. Smile with your heart. Smile at the paperboy, the gas station attendant, the cab driver, the building watchman, the person in the elevator. Just smile Big, with so much love. How on earth can such a beautiful smile not create and rejuvenate a new relationship?
- Be Open- Many times we go by our days, living a certain way. In a certain routine. Thinking that this is what life is supposed to be. The eternal need for everything to be a certain way is what prevents us from truly opening up to new opportunities around us. Be that in life or in relationships. Be open to new and different. New and different can be good too. If your relationship needs a bit of rejuvenation, trying new ways of talking to each other or approaching each others problems can be very healthy.
- Be Raw & Genuine- I’ve seen really close relationships suffer the brunt of the ego. Being raw means to be you. Only you. Not someone the opposite person wants you to be. Any relationship based on ego and veils doesn’t truly blossom till those veils are actually shed. Notice how our best friends/closest relationships are the ones who have seen us and been with us in our most vulnerable moments…Its ok to be You. Its ok to be vulnerable and free. We need to be able to let our guard down and just live and love. This genuinety breathes Life into all our relationships. I have so many relationships in my life, where I can just sit in silence without saying one word for hours. And its ok. We understand each other to that level, that sometimes words are not required.
- Operate from your Heart- Our heart is an entity of gigantic proportions. When we function from our heart center, we see things in an intuitive light. There is no negativity or judgment in the heart, only love. Hence operating from the heart makes any and all your relationships happily rejuvenated.
Stay Tuned: In the next part of this Happy Relationships Series we will shed light on Finding Soul-mates. And if you have already found your soul mate, then how to make sure you don’t lose them.
Please Note: This article is the 2nd part in the series of articles on “Happy Relationships”. From Self-love, to Giving love, to Finding your soul mate, to having happy healthy loving relationships….all will be unraveled in this “Happy Relationships Series” of articles. Be sure to be subscribed(by clicking here) so that you don’t miss any part of this Heart Opening Series.
What are YOUR thoughts on this topic? How do you rejuvenate your relationships? Do you have any tips to share about your life’s relationships? Share your wisdom, thoughts and questions in the comments of this article. I’d love to get to know you!
With Immense Love & Gratitude,
~Zeenat~
Counseling Psychologist/ Spiritual Counselor
Motivational Speaker/Naturopath
Holistic Healer/Writer
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true, and i feel to love is the best and worth doing on this earth. Everything else will come naturally.
Hi PrinceJay,
Well said my friend. I’m glad you stopped by and shared your thoughts here.
Much Love~
Hi Zeenat ~ I love this inspiration to give love to rejuvenate relationships! It’s never too late to be the one to first call, to give of yourself and to spread the happiness you seek. :~D
Hi Sue,
So lovely seeing you here 🙂
You know many times i’ve seen relationships go bad, cause the ego demands us to wait for the opposite person to make the loving move….so in giving love I’m all for me first 🙂
Thank you for your lovely comment here and so glad you liked this article.
So Much Love~
As I read your particle and heard the wisdom in it I recognized that I never invest as much into my other relationships as I do with my summer people. Your question is: “Are you ready to give love completely?” My answer is “no”. I am not ready to rejuvenate every relationship in my life. In fact, I’m in the process of slowly and graciously backing away from two relationships. They are with people who I was once close to but that time of closeness has passed. People come and people go in our lives and I accept that. Some relationships never germinate; some grow and blossom and bear fruit.
In August I have an opportunity to reconnect with dear friends, some of whom I haven’t seen for a whole year. We have known each other for decades. We began as young couples and now we are entering our autumn years. In summer we take the time to have one on one heart felt conversations and catch up on what’s happening in each others lives. Yes, we are in contact the rest of the year, but we are not face to face as we are all month long in August.
I don’t have to prompt myself to be open-hearted and genuine with my summer people. It comes naturally. These summer times of relationship rejuvenation and bonding are of great importance. Smiles come easily and laughter does too, which is not to say that tears don’t flow as well.
Darling TiTi,
You are very very right in your approach. I do also believe that not all relationships are mend-able, but whats important and of paramount value is that we know that we gave it our all. When you give so completely and still a relationship doesnt blossom, its ok. Its just not meant to. I shared this in the last article in this Happy Relationships series.
Letting go is also part of giving love….some relationships need to be let go in order to let them breathe.
I’m glad august will be a time fro you to reconnect with close friends. Its amazing how rejuvenated we feel after spending time with our loving friends.
May your friendships this season blossom to great heights dear one.
Thank you for sharing so beautifully TiTi, I appreciate it.
So Much Love~
Dear Zeenat,
It’s taken me a long time to get to this place of knowing that it’s okay to let go with love. Thanks for your affirmation.
With much love,
TiTi
its great to be reminded of the true art of giving…
Hi Neerali,
Thank you for stopping by and sharing your lovely thoughts. I am glad you were positively reminded 🙂
Much Love
Hi Zeenat,
I love the example you gave of the best friend dealing with the diagnosis of her son. That’s exactly the type of thing that comes up in people’s lives and we unknowingly take their absence personally. Many years ago I read a book called “The Impersonal Life.” It was written anonymously and part a 3 book series so, I can’t quote the author’s name but, it really opened my eyes to the concept of not taking things personally. Everyone is dealing with things that take their up their time and attention so, to avoid feeling hurt we should develop a strong love for ourselves that is not dependent upon outside validation. Now I try to see that “everything just is” and just keep on giving.
Dearest Angela,
That sounds like and amazing book.
Developing strong love for self is so so essential to our growth and that of every relationship we make in this lifetime. When we operate from love, it becomes easier to understand another pain and not be judgmental.
So true, “everything truly just is” Love this!
Thank you for you loving comment here Angela.
So Much Love~
Hi Z, Yes, my aspiration is to give love completely! It’s a process of learning to open my heart more and more. In that way, you’re suggestions are so precious. I especially love the idea of sharing a smile. It’s so easy to do, can easily touch another, but it also positively transforms our state of being too. I also appreciate your suggestions to be open. Most of the time we’re running on automatic and we don’t realize that we hardly open at all!
As timethief points out, this doesn’t mean we have to hold onto relationships when it’s time to let them go. It just means learning to live in a state of love and be able to express that openly to anyone that enters our dimension.
Thank you for the inspiration!
Hi Sandra,
I want to think you for what you have said with regard to holding onto relationships when it’s time to let them go. I have struggled to make the best decision I can in rehard to the two reltionships I have mentioned. I too aspire to give love completely. In these two cases I believe it’s best to simply love the people and let the relationships with them go quietly and graciously. Change is the only constant and perhaps change will give rise to me cultivating a relationship with these people in the future. Thanks for your validation.
Dearest Sandra,
There is so much depth to your comment here my dear. Just giving love is usually enough to rejuvenate any relationship, but if it doesnt work…knowing that we gave our all is enough to keep our- self and our growth in check.
I’m glad you liked this article.
Much Love~
Darling TiTi,
Change is truly the only constant! When relationships go soar, many times we blame ourselves. We must not. Relationships work from the heart…if both the sides dont love, then the connection does go south. BUt if there is even and inkling of love left…..it can be mended. I feed if a relationship is meant to be it will be so naturally… If it gives you heartache…it really isn’t meant to be in the first place.
Love always~
Zeenat,
I have now accepted that it is best for me to no longer cultivate the gardens that do not produce sprouts and set blossoms. It was hard for a determined person like me to do but when I assessed these relationships with humility I recognized the wrongness of clinging to the hope of reciprocity. I have never expected more from my horses, dogs, etc. than they could deliver. I now know I must apply the same to people in my life as well.
Peace with with you always,
TiTi
“I hope and pray you find your truest love, one that appreciates you for you. No questions asked.”
My Dear Zeenat,
These words from you to me during the last post struck me to the inner depth of my heart with a “raw” answer. Your wish leaves no ‘questions’ of doubt as to the love I need, and the love I need to give.
“Notice how our best friends/closest relationships are the ones who have seen us and been with us in our most vulnerable moments…Its ok to be You. Its ok to be vulnerable and free.”
I have a life long friend…my *Little Brother* that has been there twice to pick me up after my failed marriages. We know each other so well. He lives on his boat down in Thailand and will be here soon for a visit. I paid a visit to his 82 year old mother a couple of weeks ago. During my visit she brought out a small photo album. It was heart wrenching to see the pictures of my little brother and his “truest love” together in so many pictures. He lost her in a tragic accident out at sea. He has never married…she would of been the one.
During my nineteen days out at sea with him we both talked about our lost loves…our vulnerbility…our failures…our anger…our wants…our needs…our years of friendship.
During the nineteen days and the month and half in port there was many moments of mutual shared “silence”. We have known each other for so long,and have done so many different things together that we ‘understand’ each other to a very high ‘level’. This level of understanding silence we shared during the tempest of a major storm on our passage, and during the stillness of quiet reading at achorage.
At this point in my life your prayer to come true would be nothing but *magic* for me. For my little brother this prayer to become real would be like the name of his boat “Renaitre” (Reborn)…so please Zeenat lets pray the same for him also.
“No questions asked”
Someone like me is ok… but not like me is ok. Just be *Genuine*…and appreciate me for the *romantic fool* that I am. No trying to change me after the fact.
What freedom!
With love and gratitude,
Rand