“Everything will line up perfectly when knowing and living the truth becomes more important than looking good.” Alan Cohen
I thought I had a perfect life. I was married to a woman who I believed to be my soul-mate. I was employed as an attorney in a prestigious law firm.
We had a house, dreams, ambitions and so much to achieve in life.
Over the last few years, each of these things in my life began to unravel. I voluntarily left my job because the high-pressure and stress didn’t suit my soul or life purpose.
Our house left us due to the tanking economy.
My wife and I parted ways. And all our dreams and ambitions crumbled.
What had happened?
While I had created what seemed like the model life, I realized it wasn’t my life.
I had created a life based on societal norms and family expectations.
It was comfortable but not reflective of who I was.
In the years since my life began to deteriorate, I’ve started progressing to live my own life – an authentic life.
Every decision I now make is vetted to see if it’s in line with my true nature. I also stopped being concerned about irrelevant and trivial factors which had shaped my life into something that wasn’t me.
In order to live more authentically, I encourage you to stop caring about these ten factors. You’ll feel less pressure and stress, and start living the life you were meant to have.
10 Factors You Should Stop Caring About Today to be True to Yourself
1)Stop caring about what others think
So much of the time, you’re doing things out of social obligation or to fulfill someone else’s desire. If you don’t comply, you will get a bad name and have people speak ill of you. There are always going to be people speaking ill of you or not approving what you do. Why cater to them?
Start making decisions on what feels right to you instead of what will appease those around you.
The less you care about what others think and want, the more you can create the life you want for yourself.
2)Stop caring what others want you to do
Many of the people in your life are going to expect you to do certain things in your life to appease them.
Your parents may want you to enter a certain profession, marry a certain man, dress a certain way, visit condescending family members on holidays.
Although you do want to oblige, you can’t always live life for the family and friends in your life.
They want you to live life a certain way because they can’t stand uncertainty.
They know what’s worked for them and want you to follow a known path so you’ll succeed.
Know that you can succeed without a roadmap, it may just take a little longer.
You can reflect on their input in your life but blindly following someone else’s wishes can end with you living someone else’s life and not yours.
3)Stop caring about what others are doing
“Why compare yourself with others? No one in the entire world can do a better job of being you than you.” Unknown
You’re not only being told what to do but you care too much about others and what they’re doing.They married so and so. They bought a car, a house, took a romantic trip to to the Greek islands.
You can’t compare yourself to those around you always because it is just going to fill your heart with jealousies and desires which aren’t even yours.
Does it make sense to buy a house that’s the same size as your neighbor’s just to keep up with the Patel’s or the Shah’s? No.
Stop comparing yourself to what others are doing and do what you want to do with your life.
You don’t know the debts your friends and neighbors are taking out to live the lifestyle they appear to be. You following suit will make you feel like you’re playing a constant game of catch-up.
4)Stop caring about how you’ll look to others
You may constantly be looking over your shoulder wondering what others will say about your chosen career, partner or business.
Does it matter if they see you struggling or failing?
Does it matter if they don’t approve?
All too often, it does matter to us. So instead of living the life we’re capable of, we live a people-pleasing life.
If you pay little attention to what others think, you’ll take more risks, live more passionately and achieve more of your dreams.
Sometimes, a little geographical distance or move by those who have the biggest influence on your life, can give you a little breathing room to pursue life on your terms.
5)Stop caring about expectations
“We want you to have a baby. Ok, 2 babies. Fine, 3.”
We want you to be so wealthy that you don’t have to work by the time you’re 30.”
“We want you to be a professional so that you’re making our family look good and everyone else’s kid is a professional also yaar.”
The problem with all these expectations of you is that it only allows for others to feel content to see you fulfilling their expectations.
When you dance to their tune, you live their life and fail to live yours.
Shouldn’t your dreams, desires and expectations matter?
Isn’t ok to be wealthy but not show off your wealth? Isn’t it ok to have a professional degree but pursue work that fulfills you? Isn’t it acceptable for your husband to stay home and be the homemaker?
If you wish to live authentically, be oblivious to the expectations of others.
6)Stop caring about naysayers
There will be those who speak negatively of you or be critical of you.
You must learn to ignore these voices. You already have an inner self-critic to deal with. You don’t have time for other critics to chime in.Thank you mother-in-law, sister-in-law, Uncle, Aunt and family but you are completely capable of making your own decision on something.
Their snide remarks, doubts about your abilities and harmful put-downs should be words that you allow to flutter in the wind.
Learning to ignore those who are continuously negative to you is a divine practice. You can love them as people but know that their fear-based living causes them to be harsh towards you.
7)Stop caring about having to explain yourself
“What do I say to my parent?” or “What will we tell the family down the road who have known our family for 3 generations?”Nothing. Make polite talk and listen to what they have to say to you.If they ask you questions about your career choices, life-style choices or anything about living the life you want, side-step the question.
Let them know it is what it is. Stop putting on airs to look better, richer or more important.
Life’s too short to be putting up a facade. The more layers you put on and the more layers of untruths you mask, the less authentic life you live.
8)Stop caring about your past
“You cannot find yourself by going into the past. You can find yourself by coming into the present.” Eckhart Tolle
Moving on from our past is difficult sometimes because our past defines and bonds us.Can you modify the story you’ve been telling yourself about your past? Can you change your perspective about the hurting and painful events? About the trespasses and sorrow others have caused?Can you heal today so that you’re not stuck from your life 10 years or 20 years ago?
Forgive today by side-stepping your ego. Ask for forgiveness if you have to. And break free of the shackles of your past.
You can only be the bright shining light today if you can unveil the heavy fog of your past.
9)Stop caring about who you SHOULD be
You should be famous. Or wealthy. Or highly-educated because that’s what success means.
You don’t have to be any of those things as much as society tries to tell you to conform to living a certain way.
Stop bothering intensely about what your community or society wants
Your community or society is not going to judge you at the end of your life
Only you’re going to judge yourself of how you lived your life. So you shouldn’t have to do anything to appease anyone.
You should, however, listen to your heart and intuition. Do what feels right to you.
10)Stop caring about your inadequacies
Instead of dwelling on what your shortfalls or problems you have in life are, be ready to deal with it.
Acknowledge, accept and be ready to work through it. Then be ready to release it from your life.
Focus on your strength, your successes and your potential.
Continue to strive to be the best person you can be today, not the broken or inadequate person you felt you were yesterday.
How can you make self-improvements today? Get out of depression? Heal from your wounds and emotional scars? How can you build your character today? Be a kinder, gentler, more caring person today?
How can you be more effective, motivated and inspired to follow your dreams?
Work on the issues and pain you have but don’t allow it to define you.
Focus on your potential, not your deficiencies.
To live an authentic life, you just need to stop caring so much.
Allow the unnecessary trappings in your life to crumble and wash away. Step away from unrealistic expectations and societal demands to live life on your terms.
Choose to be courageous and be who you are. Life’s too short to be living someone else’s life.
Are you living a life that’s authentic and true to yourself? Please help inspire others and share your thoughts on how to be more true to yourself in the comments below.
About the Author of this post:
Vishnu writes a self-help blog for spiritual people at www.vishnusvirtues.com.
He writes to inspire you to seek wisdom and happiness within yourself, and to be a better person for yourself and for others. Join him on Facebook here: https://www.facebook.com/vishnus.virtues
Did you enjoy this post? I know I did….Thank you so much Vishnu for sharing your life story and your wisdom here on Positive Provocations.
With Immense Love & Gratitude,
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