I have always been choosy about the kind of books I read. Always. I like to read a book that has substance, that has depth, a book that has something I can learn from. But most of all, I like a book that is all LOVE, all HEART…which is what The Love Mindset is.
The Love Mindset is not just a book you read and store in your bookshelf. Its a book that you savor, you reread, you go back to and keep wanting more from.
“Love continues to shine like the sun, available to anyone who knows how to tap its vitality..” ~ Vironika Tugleva
As I sunk into reading this absolutely loving book last night, I couldn’t stop. I couldn’t put it down till I was completely done and then I kept rereading those parts I “felt”. Vironika Tugaleva has woven a masterpiece to healing and happiness in the form of THE LOVE MINDSET. The book is her story, her thoughts and her experience from being completely lost to her miraculous healing to becoming whole again. I had the immense pleasure of interviewing her on the subject of her book.
Here is the interview(which you will truly enjoy!) with Vironika Tugaleva Author of “The Love Mindset(An Unconventional Guide to Healing and Happiness)”
Me: What sparked the thought of writing this highly insightful book?
Vironika: I wrote The Love Mindset in the fervour of epiphany. I struggled with my own teetering mental health for close to a decade. When I finally found the light, I just wanted to share it with others.
I have seen such darkness and, in that darkness, the worst feeling was complete and utter loneliness. I was sure that no one else had ever felt so hurt, so isolated.
After a breakdown several years ago, something happened to me. The noises in my head stopped for the first time and I felt a deep sense of peace. I saw beauty in myself and in all the people around me. I felt connected. I felt alive.
I didn’t understand what was happening or why, but I knew I wanted to share it with the world.
This book went through draft after draft as I attempted to uncover the truth of what I had gone through. When I finally understood, I threw away all the drafts. The entire manuscript, except for some grammatical edits, was written in less than a month and a half. It just poured out of me, as soon as I understood, as soon as I awakened to my awakening.
Me: While writing your book, what was the most challenging part? Was there a time you wanted to just give up?
Vironika: The hardest piece to write was actually the Preface. I knew that I had to be honest. I had to tell the story of how I’d come to write the book, and that meant sharing my past life. It meant sharing that I hadn’t always been a spiritual teacher and that, at one point, I was self-hating, addicted, traumatized, delusional, and every shade of “crazy.”
To be honest, I practiced for that part. I wrote an article for Good Men Project called “Lies Women Tell One Another About Men and Love” which was painfully honest. It literally hurt me to press the submit button. It hurt even more to see it published. But, then, when I saw hundreds of people screaming out “Me too! Me too!” – I knew I was on the right path.
I had to do this with other publications, with my blog, with my speeches. I had to get used to being raw, to being completely honest. After a while, the hurt got replaced by a sense of responsibility.
Sharing this message has been a journey of self-discovery, self-love, and transformation. I have become more peaceful from having my peace rattled and more loving from losing my feeling of love again and again.
There was a moment, right after I sent the entire book off to the editor, that I felt like giving up. I had been away from the book for about four or five days when this sense of dread began to sink in. I remember opening the manuscript in Word and feeling this deep sense of disgust pouring through me.
I thought, “Oh my god, the first sentence. What a hideous sentence! What a horrible, ugly way to start a book. What a terrible book. Who would write something like this? Who would read something like this?”
I cried for a long time. I cried even more when I realized that the revulsion I felt at my work was the same revulsion that I used to feel every time I looked in the mirror before my breakdown.
I realized that I was just coping with unprocessed pain, with pieces of shame that had stuck around in my psyche. So, I accepted my tears and I cried. I got it all out and, when all of that pain washed away, there was, once again, only a sense of responsibility. I had a responsibility to share this hidden part of myself with others, to show people that they are not alone and that there is hope.
Me: How much research went into writing the book?
Vironika: Directly, none. Indirectly, more than half the library.
I did not copy any concepts or ideas for the sake of sharing them at face value. I did, however, consume an obscene amount of materials as I was searching for answers to the question: “What happened to me?”
I’ve always loved reading, but the amount of reading I did to try to understand my awakening was unbelievable. I read philosophy, science, psychology, and relationship books. I watched TED talk after TED talk. I listened to audio program after audio program.
For months, I couldn’t find any satisfying answers. All the while, I was completely avoiding the realm of spirituality. I considered myself an academic. I was a die-hard cynic. And so, I kept searching for answers to a spiritual question within the material world.
Eventually, I broke through that self-imposed limit and everything just came together. It all started to make sense.
I’d like to think that The Love Mindset is a merger of West and East, of science and spirituality, because I, myself, have fought the battle between those concepts and I’ve signed the peace treaty.
I suppose you could say that The Love Mindset is full of a very specific kind of research – facts filtered by the wisdom of the soul. I chose to communicate a truth that I’ve always known, rather than one that had the most support. And that, I think, is what’s made all the difference.
Me: Which is your most favorite chapter from your book and Why?
Vironika: The answer to this question has actually changed over time. And I think it’ll continue to.
The most frequent feedback I get from people who have read the book is that they re-read it, highlight it, and mark pages to read later. This always makes me smile, because I do the same.
I re-read The Love Mindset pretty regularly. There’s something in there to address any issue, any pain, any obstacle that one might undergo in the journey of awakening.
When I was first starting to get my book out there and do speaking gigs, I was addicted to the chapter about fear – “Self-Protective Self-Destruction.” I kept referencing it because that was what I was dealing with at the time.
When I first began coaching, “Bandage Worship,” which is a chapter about healing, was my favourite. It reminded me of the pain I’d been through and it helped me see the way to heal pain in others.
At the moment, I’m quite fond of “The Villain” because I’m doing deep and important work with helping people process through their anger. Of course, my biological reflexes take over when I face anger, and so I am always remembering the lessons within The Love Mindset about anger, about violence, about compassion. Revisiting this chapter again and again has helped me develop compassion beyond anything I could have even imagined when I first wrote it.
I thought, when I wrote the book, that I was pretty good at practicing what lay in those pages. And it never ceases to amaze me how much more there is to my journey, to every journey.
I know that, if you ask me this question in a few months, I’ll have a different chapter in mind, because I’ll be growing and learning and voyaging, focusing on some other part of my path. And this is, truly, the greatest gift. There’s never a dull moment.
Me: Who would benefit from this amazing book?
Vironika: There’s a specific kind of person, very much like myself before I broke down, who would benefit immensely from The Love Mindset. This profile is not only something I’ve found by looking back on my past self. I also find it, again and again, in people who read the book and find themselves healed, peaceful, and inspired.
Of course, others will find the book insightful and, likely, inspiring. The type of person I describe below will find it life-changing.
This person is, quite often, intelligent in a rational, analytical, logical sort of way. They trust the mind unequivocally. They can recognize patterns and figure out answers. They love being right and they tend to measure, calculate, and judge everything that’s put in front of them.
They’re often isolated from others. They keep themselves at arm’s distance, mistrusting people’s intentions and fearing connection. They are often hurt, usually at the hands of people from the past, which explains their isolation and fear. They walk around with a heavy burden, feeling flawed and broken, wondering if they’ll ever be okay. From their distant and painful view, humanity may begin to look like a sea of violence and suffering. They often become disillusioned with people and disenchanted with life.
Most importantly, they are holding onto a shred of hope. This, I think, is key. Despite all of their suffering, there’s still a part inside of them that’s looking for magic. They’re still desperately hungry to find out that people are kind, that life is beautiful, that things can change.
Me: Do you have a message for the readers of your book?
Vironika: Yes. The most overarching lesson that I have for everyone I encounter is – stop looking for answers outside of yourself.
You have all of the resources you’ll ever need inside of you. You need love to live and you can experience that love without anyone else “giving” it to you. You can give it to yourself.
You already have the answers your own problems. You don’t need cookie cutter solutions from magical gurus. At most, you need someone to help point you back to yourself, to remind you that you know what to do already. You are the expert on yourself.
We’ve all got this inner wisdom that guides us towards where we need to go, just like a bumblebee is guided by some instinct to go inside the flower, gather pollen, and go back to the hive. We are already in the flow of life. Most people do not notice this because they are too busy getting in their own way and allowing other people to get into their way by giving them quick fixes and one-step solutions.
My message that I hope is the loudest is – trust yourself. Don’t label yourself as your pain; find out the message of that pain. Don’t numb your inner voice; find your own path, and lead the way for others by showing them how it’s done.
The Love Mindset is a book for the part of you that’s dying to
discover that you’re not broken, people are wonderful after all, life is beautiful, and every moment can be an exciting burst of magic…
You can buy THE LOVE MINDSET on
About the author of this beautiful book:
is an author, speaker, people lover, reformed cynic, and a different kind of spiritual teacher. She helps people heal their minds and discover their inner strength. You’re invited to read more about Vironika and her inspiring book The Love Mindset.
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With Immense Love & Gratitude,