“Be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars. In the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul.” ~Max Ehrmann
In our rush to meet the daily obligations of work, family, and social life, we tend to overlook our own needs. As a result, we feel exhausted to the point of emptiness. What’s missing is a relationship with ourselves. We need time to get to know ourselves, time to joyfully nurture our spirits, and time to create.
Wondering if you are doing a decent job of taking care of yourself – or how your self caring could be improved? Review the following questions, and reflect on your answers. Chances are you are struggling in at least a few of the realms where self-care is most important: a satisfying diet, physical activity, solitude, and reflection.
Joyful Eating
“Plant your own garden and decorate your own soul, instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.” ~Veronica A. Shoffstall
How often do you cook creative or enjoyable meals for yourself?
Do you eat fruits and vegetables everyday – not because you have to, but because you feel more alive when you choose foods that provide energy and life?
Do you eat regular, healthy meals – or do you skip meals and reach for junk food?
Do you enjoy the physical sensations involved in peaceful eating?
Do you eat some meals in the company of friends and family?
How often do you use food, caffeine, sugar, or alcohol to make yourself feel better?
When you are thirsty, do you get something to drink immediately, or do you ignore your need, take care of something else first, or delay?
Do you clear your plate of situations that drain your energy?
Joyful Body
“If you can learn to love yourself and all the flaws, you can love other people so much better. And that makes you so happy.”~ Kristin Chenoweth
Do you engage in fun or enjoyable physical activity most days of the week?
When was the last time you had a massage or a long bath?
Are you in touch with your boundaries and your bottom line?
Do you express your desires, concerns, and limits to all people in your life, most of the time?
If you are tired, do you rest or do you keep pushing?
Do you get too much sleep because you want to escape life, or you just don’t have enough energy?
Do you enjoy your own company?
How often do you laugh everyday?
Joyful Spirit
“I love myself for I am a beloved child of the universe and the universe lovingly takes care of me now.”~ Louise Hay
Do you have a nurturing morning routine that helps you align with the goals and activities that are most important to you?
Do you let your family members know exactly what you need from them?
Are you satisfied with your work choices?
Can you be counted on to keep your word – to others and to yourself?
Do you allow yourself to go outdoors for at least an hour every day?
Do you spend time listening to your emotions and expressing them in a self-supportive way (good cry, communication, feeling your fear or joy, journal writing)?
Do you have a hobby that rejuvenates you? If so, do you spend time with your hobby?
Do you celebrate your efforts and successes on a daily basis?
Do you talk to yourself in a supportive, uplifting manner?
How often do you take time to reflect and feel at peace?
You STILL need nurturing!
Even though you are an adult now, you still need care and nurturing. Only now, it’s your responsibility to see that your needs get met. No one else can do it for you. As you take specific steps to make self-care a priority, you’ll not only feel better you will also have more energy, creativity, and vitality to share with life!
And what a glorious life that will be!
What are your thoughts on this topic? How do you nurture your complete being? When you read the above questions, how were your answers, in the affirmative or not so much? Please do share your thoughts, comments and questions in the comments sections below. Its always my pleasure to hear your thoughts.
With Immense Love & Gratitude,
~Zeenat~
Counseling Psychologist/ Spiritual Counselor
Motivational Speaker/Naturopath
Holistic Healer/Writer
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This is true. The theme of my practice is You Deserve to be Healthy! I have it on my website, all my newsletters and on my signature. One of my clients printed it off and taped it to the headboard of her bed! She needed to be reminded that she matters too and that she needs to take care of herself. This is not always easy to do when you are a new mom of an ill infant! Great post!
Hi Mindy,
How so very lovely of you to stop by and share your thoughts here. Thank you!
And I love the theme of your practice…health is indeed wealth. Gentle reminders like the one your client made are great to stay on track especially in those not so happy times, when you want to binge. I’ve been the new mom with an infant..and let me tell you its exhausting! There were days I didnt have the time or inclination to look at myself in the mirror, let alone run a comb through my hair. So I get it…but then there also comes a time, when you NEED to take care of yourself…when that time came for me…my vitality fro life returned. Being a mom, wife, daughter, sister, counselor, healer and writer blogger…..etc….now it seems like second nature to me. It comes with ease. Ask me 5 years back, if i would be wearing all these hats and I would have a fit 😉
So glad you liked this post!
Much Love~
I sometimes found it funny when while leaving, friends used to say to me to take care. I used to think.. how exactly! I mean the phrase had little meaning to me…until I read your post just now 🙂 . Very nicely said.
Hi Najma,
You are so sweet to observe these things your friends say dear one. I know many a times people say it out of formality, but close friends and family say it cause they mean it. They care.
We forget about ourselves so often…and these gentle reminders, even if they seem formal can be such a great thing na…
Now you be a good girl and take care of yourself, before you jump in and try to take care of the whole world around you.
Thank you Najma for you beautiful comment here.
Sending you lots of love~
Zee,
This was amazing! These questions were just what I needed to read today. I really haven’t been taking care of myself lately. I allow myself to get so “busy” that I ignore my own needs and feelings. The result is that I suffer physically and mentally. I cannot even remember that last time I luxuriated in a bath tub. My one and only massage was while on vacation in the Poconos more than 20 years ago – seriously! I have to find a way to make time for myself. Thank you – thank you dear friend!
Hi Angela,
You and me both….ahhh…the ‘ I am busy’ phrase seems to have become my all time excuse! I too was feeling this busyness taking over my core happiness…
Shucks I dont ever remember taking a massage…ever! You have enticed me now…hmmm…my minds working on ‘who&where’ for the massage now 😉
Lets both decide to make time for ourselves…..we deserve it na …
Thank you sweetie for your amazing love and support always,
Much Love~
Zeenat,
I love these wonderful questions, which are also ideas and plans of action! Self-care is high on my priority list at the moment and I appreciate these encouragements.
Sandra darling,
I hope you take good good care of yourself…cause God knows i need you all whole and awesome 🙂
Thank you for being you. You know I love ya!
Hugs&Love always~
Dear Zeenat,
I am focused on gardening and healthy eating.
How often do you cook creative or enjoyable meals for yourself?
My husband is a gifted cook. I am his willing assistant and when he’s going to be away (his new position requires traveling) he makes up meals ahead and freezes them for me. In addition, when he’s away I cook for myself about 3 or 4 times a month.
Do you eat fruits and vegetables everyday – not because you have to, but because you feel more alive when you choose foods that provide energy and life?
Yes I do eat vegetables daily but not fruits. I’m not strongly attracted to tree fruits. I love berries and melons though.
Do you eat regular, healthy meals – or do you skip meals and reach for junk food?
I have food allergies and sensitivities so I don’t eat processed foods or junk foods. In that past food supplements and additives I wasn’t even aware of in my food made me very sick. It was only after been hospitalized and tested that I discovered what I was eating was toxic to my body. I don’t eat three meals daily. If I did I would not be getting enough food. I am slender and have always been slender. I have a very small appetite and small stomach that fills up very fast so I “graze” in addition to eating my meals.
Do you enjoy the physical sensations involved in peaceful eating?
Very much. I liove eating peacefully and while instrumental music is playing. I love eating aslowly and savoring each bite. I enjoy what happens in my mouth but when my stomach is full I’m not keen on that sensation so I stop eating before I feel “full”.
Do you eat some meals in the company of friends and family?
Yes and they are the best meals of all. I love potluck dinners.
How often do you use food, caffeine, sugar, or alcohol to make yourself feel better?
I drink one small cup of fresh ground coffee every morning and that’s it for the day. Therefater I drink decaffeienated green tea or water.Most of the food I eat is sugar and salt free. In recipes I reduce or elimnate sugar and salt. I rarely drink alcohol.
When you are thirsty, do you get something to drink immediately, or do you ignore your need, take care of something else first, or delay?
I used to have the bad habit of failing to rehydrate but now I’m on top of that. I don’t usually ignore my thirst any more and if I catch myself doing that then I make a course correction
Do you clear your plate of situations that drain your energy?
I try to.
I don’t appreciate heavy issues like politics, sports and international news being discussed when eating. They are all are appetite killers for me.
With much love,
TiTi
P.S. The last wild freezing rainstorm broght trees down oever powerlines. The power was out again for nearly two days. I am far behind and will return when I can to answer the other questions.
Dearest TiTi,
Wow I loved your comment here. Your answers make me feel like I need to come live with you for a bit 🙂 So much peace resides in each answer you have shared. Thank you!
I think you are already so beautifully nurturing yourself….May you keep nurturing and growing ….I love learning from you.
Thank you so much for sharing yourself here…I am so going to use some of your ways in my life.
So Much Love~
Darling Z,
I wasn’t *joyfully* nurturing my whole self…while in this huge paradigm shift, I was nurturing my self out of obligation, more like a “have to” then a love to, blessing to take care of me. But in the last two weeks, I have been back on track..have my laugh and my light and am allowing for silence and lots of time in nature and all of the things that allow me to be joyfully me. Ultra important, because as I share energy with my children and with world, I would like it to be as life enriching/spirit enlivening as possible.
My dearest Joy,
Its so good to hear form you and even greater to read that you are now back on track to taking care of yourself. Hey I need you to be super awesome and at peace….I need your inspiration always 🙂
And youre so right…we moms and energy workers need to keep our positive energies in tact, cause we share this energy with so many in the world…..and when shared right, its enlightens us and creates magic around us too!
Thank you fro sharing your infectious energy here.
Love you to bits~
Hi Zeenat,
Lovely post! This is a wonderful reminder to take care of ourselves in all areas of our lives. I love this line – “Even though you are an adult now, you still need care and nurturing.” We do need self care and nurturing and how easy it is for us to forget once we become adults and feel responsible for everyone else. Thanks for sharing.
Hi cathy!
We do forget to take care of ourselves in all the hustle bustle of life na. I think its by default that we do that…cause its the way we have been brought up….to be responsible adults. But who says being responsible means not being nurturing and caring for ourself too. Aren’t we our own responsibility too?
I’m so glad you loved this post, and happier that you stopped by to share your thoughts here. Thank you!
Much Love~
Hey Zeenat,
These questions are awesome. I’m happy to see that I can answer a lot of them positively, but one thing that stood out for me is that I don’t currently have a hobby. And I think it’s time to get one. I could use the balance. Thanks for the valuable and loving nudge!
Hugs,
Melody
Hi Melody,
How amazing that you answered in the affirmative to most of these questions! It surely means that you are on the right self nurturing track.
As for your hobby oh find something you loved to do as a child…you know in those playtimes with siblings and friends…..that is your hobby and that will make you dizzy happy with balance 🙂
Thank you for your loving comment here.
Sending you lots of love~
Hi Zeenat,
This was a fantastic post and what a great list of questions! They really got me thinking. And I loved the quotes throughout your writing. I certainly have improved at looking after myself. I think what has helped in this respect is my maturing and appreciating more of the divine essence of being a human being. Thank you for your lovely post.
Hi Hiten,
Its amazing the things we can accomplish when we start loving and rspecting ourself. I’m glad you’re embracing your divinity.
Thank you so much for your lovely hearfelt comment here.
Much love~
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Working from home with three small children frequently throws a monkey wrench in my plans for self care. Adequate sleep is the most basic of needs that’s difficult to maintain with the little ones. Since we co-sleep, if I get up early, the 2 year old gets up a few minutes later. So I tend to stay up late to work since it’s hard to focus during the day. The one thing I do for myself is to practice yoga almost every day followed by a brief (and usually noisy) meditation. The kids like to get involved but it doesn’t bother me as I feel that I’m teaching them something healthy by my example. Eating well is always a top priority as I’m a bit of a health nut and understand the importance of healthy eating and lots of water. What, how and when we eat and drink have a huge impact on how we feel physically and emotionally. Thanks for the wonderful questions to remind me of where I need to focus!
Hi Paige,
Oh you remind me of myself abou 2 yrs back, when my little one was just 3 and creating havoc all over. In time though I’ve started sleeping early and waking up early as well…which in turn gives me the 2 hrs of complete peace in the morning to take care or me. You’ll get there too..2njoy your kids while they are young 🙂
Thankyou for sharing yourself here Paige!
Much love~
How often do you cook creative or enjoyable meals for yourself?
The meal that I cooked for myself this evening (just finished eating) was…
Turkey meatloaf: Ground turkey, mushrooms, white onion, Italian style breadcrumbs, milk, lots of garlic,lots of fresh cilantro, a bit of seasoning, with cranberries and sunflower seeds on top.
Vegetables steamed in a pot: Brussels sprouts, white onions, carrots, turnips, and parsnips.
Vegetable nuked: One red potato.
Beverage: One glass of Chianti and lots of spring water.
I love cooking for others or with others. My daughters love my shrimp and fish tacos and my killer guacamole. I received last week from two different neighbors a grilled Mexican dinner and a pasta dinner totally unexpectedly on different evenings. They don’t know it but my signature *Frogmore Stew* will be coming there way soon.
My poor eating habits (just talking about it last night) are when I get off work at 3:00 a.m. and from burning so many calories, and from a very heightened state of alertness I find that I will eat anything in sight. I have got to work on this…perhaps lots of water and maybe one potato to help me sleep??
…you know Z before I go any further we have just got to lay all the cards on the table.
Some of your reply to me from my comment on the last post was:
“Thank you so much for your lovely sharing here.. Your heart is pure and so is your spirit.”
Gotta tell ya Z those words sent me over the moon, but old Rand and his bag of bones knows the exact proportions of his secret recipe. I can tell you while there is nothing artificial I do know I will never be perfect…or for that matter *pure* as I want to have a mixture of good ingredients.
Uzma’s reply to a comment last week really hit the mark:
“It’s such a big move into Trust, that’s when we know the best is now and will be. Sometimes , I feel, our surrounding, our conditioning make us believe happiness lies in this or that and these goals, these achievements are important but somewhere we realize and ask ourselves – are they really ? What really matters ? For me right now the answer is, a good heart, a kind spirit , strength of character, a rock solid person. It’s almost like one looses a bit of attachment from this world..”
To be “whole” not “pure”.
And you do know me the best when it comes to the online community…you nailed me right from the start Z.
What I love about you Zeenat is the balance of this old kind and wise soul that has lived with many a living form, and this youthful fun loving woman whose way about talking at times can remind one of a San Fernando Valley Girl…na
You have a wonderful wholeness to you Zeenat.
We all know that I am a Southern California jock. I came right out of the gate (birth) as a running, tumbling, bumping, bruising, mega calorie burning wind-up action doll…still em 🙂
…this is a bit of the Bukowski.
My work can be so physical too…which feeds my passion, but also technical requiring finesse.
…the bit of the Bukowski with the blending of Geppetto…
“Do you have a hobby that rejuvenates you? If so, do you spend time with your hobby?”
I love to read. I love to write poetry. I love to restore a 175 year old watch or clock ( I am a watch/clockmaker. I love and I have a vast knowledge of art and antiques. I love to go to museums, art galleries, flea markets. I love theater, and so happens this is my employment. I love my *Peace Garden* which has some recently colorful flowers that I added. I love my wild bird feeder, and my hummingbird feeder. I love meditation and being in the flow with nature and the universe.
I am working on my 4wd SUV to get it up to snuff for returning to the wilderness once again on a regular basis:
“Do you enjoy your own company?”
Zeenat, I grew up with a large family, but now I find myself when not at work (work is a large family) making the best of enjoying my own company.
This is the hard one for me dear Z as you know from your last post on Judging. I am back to work…so thanks for the healing power sent my way.
This is what has eluded me for some time now…the committed company of another.
I believe Zenaat that when you say “there will be no doubt” you say this from an honest heart with all your ‘healing’ blessings.
“Can you be counted on to keep your word – to others and to yourself?”
I am not perfect here. My work requires me to me on call availability…so sometimes other things get pushed aside. I am very well counted on regards my work. I am committed to become a Journey Man within the year. My employment is secure. I love my job, my bothers and sisters that work along side of me. I would like some day to not only provide food, shelter, and medical, for myself but for others. It makes one’s life feel more productive and meaningful…the feeling of being needed.
“How often do you laugh everyday?”
Z, my word for 2012 was “Laughter”…which I think I have done with some mixed results thus far online with this community (considering an alternative word that may begin with an ‘E’.
Any how…I found this worn out ‘The Silly Little Book Of Stupid Jokes’ book in the laundry room tonight so here goes:
“Did you hear about the math teacher who fainted in class? Everyone tried to bring her 2.”
Thanks so much you wonderful woman you…
Dearest Rand,
Forgive my delay in responding to your gorgeous comment earlier. Life has a way of sucking us all in 🙂 but in its oh so wonderful way.
I take every word you said to me this comment and smile right from my heart 🙂 thank you! What you said about my valley gal sound and the old soul mix hmmmm not many get that…
I hope you stay in this positive community forever and ever and grow with every moment.
Laughter is like my life line…and like your daughter brings out the laughter in you, my little girl does the same for me 🙂 ahh kids.
To say I LOVED your comment here is truly under stating it 🙂
Lots of love~
So many great concepts in this article. I’ve definitely started eating fruits and vegetables more than ever before. I’ve started cooking new and different dishes with organic food. It is quite nurturing.
Keeping my word word to others and to myself is also a big one I find makes a difference in every day life. Especially the part about keeping my word to myself!
Much aloha to you for your inspiration.
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