Happy Valentine’s day darlings! Just one day to celebrate LOVE is not happening for me. I celebrate LOVE everyday and so should you. Its rather simple, you simply BE Love and everyday ends up becoming a Love day. How awesome is that?
When it comes to love, the first and most often asked questions is “What is the Secret to a Happy Loving Relationship?” Over the years, this is the one question that is a constant. I am often flooded with emails/messages, and relationship woes cover 90% of them.
People often feel like they need one secret to create the perfect relationship, when in reality, there is no one secret to a happy loving relationship…there are many.
I asked the Big Hearts of the Personal Development fraternity this very question:
“What according to you is the ONE secret to a Happy Loving Relationship? And Why?”
Their answers below will give you a viewpoint of what really works. You can try and implement these Secrets and make all your relationships blossom with pure love and happiness. One little secret at a time. So here goes, in no particular order:
Top 17 Secrets to a Happy Loving Relationship
- Secret #1 : Be Happy Withiin ~ “I think the answer is to not have your life revolve around having to be in a relationship. You’ve got to make every effort to make your life as a single person fulfilling. You must have your own interests and continue to pursue them and discover that being by yourself doesn’t mean you are lonely. Focus on making your life exciting and worthwhile by pursuing something you love. Only once you realize that you don’t “need” to be in a relationship to be happy can you be in a healthy, respectful and balanced relationship. Nothing will squelch a relationship faster than relying on your partner/friend to be the oxygen in your life and the only reason you get up in the morning.” ~ Angela Artemis @ Powered By Intuition
- Secret #2 : True Forgiveness ~ “The secret to a happy, loving relationship is true forgiveness. How does it work? We are all teachers and learners to one another. When someone says or does something hurtful, this often guides us to love ourselves more completely. It’s so much easier to let go of the past when we don’t take anything personally and learn from it! Truly loving ourselves helps us to love others.” ~ Martine Joseph @ Thriving Minds
- Secret #3 : Honest Communication ~ “Communication. For sure. Thoughtfully communicating by taking the time to hear what the other person has to say, what they mean, and if a problem exists, focusing on solving the issue (rather than being “right” or getting your point across) can create new levels of intimacy and honesty in all relationships. Reserving judgement, opening your mind and limiting expectations is key in this process.” ~ Kristy Gardner @ She Eats
- Secret #4 : Loving Acceptance of Self ~ “The one secret to a Happy Loving Relationship is being loving and accepting of you first so then you can be loving, accepting and open within all your relationships. When we love ourself fully, judgement falls away, joy expands, there is trust, respect just is and we feel the peace within. Then we become a mirror and reflect outwardly our boundless love and that is reflected back to us with joy. ” ~ Suzie Cheel @ The Heart Whisperer
- Secret #5 : Humility ~ “My secret to a happy loving relationship is humility. It’s important to be humble enough to admit when you’re wrong, and not let your ego get in the way of just admitting it and moving on. It also takes a big person to admit where you need to grow. Because a real happy and loving relationship is one in which both people recognize that the other person has the ability to help them do personal growth work that they wouldn’t have the ability to do on their own. So being strong enough to be weak is the secret. And finding someone you can do that with is the key.” ~ Jessica Sweet @ Wishing Well Life Coaching
- Secret #6 : Unconditional Love ~ “Mother is the first emotional anchor. As a baby opens his eyes, it is the mother’s face that fascinates him, it is the mother’s heartbeat he can hear, it is the mother’s tender touch that he can recognise. A mother introduces everybody to love. With her unconditional love, intuitive understanding and selfless sacrifices, she makes an indelible impression on the minds of her children. She is the sustaining force of a home and fills it with color and candor. Guided by God Himself, she possesses divine instincts TO LOVE and therefore a mother’s influence is eternal and infinite”. ~ Balroop Singh @ Emotional Shadows
- Secret #7: Understanding ~ “When you set off on a journey with another person and you want it to last for a long time, perhaps your entire life, make sure you have a clear understanding of each others’ expectations concerning the relationship, and these expectations match well. A lasting and happy relationship requires a strong, reliable foundation. It’s almost impossible to make a relationship work when you have very different views on where it’s going and how it should be.” ~ Eduard Ezeanu @ Peoples Skills Decoded
- Secret #8 : Loving Compromise ~ “Before I got married I was told that compromise was the key to a happy marriage, but as far as I was concerned this was nonsense. If two people cared so much for each other then compromise shouldn’t be necessary because they’d be in alignment. Of course I was ludicrously naive and I soon realized that compromise was a daily requirement. It doesn’t matter whether it’s what you have for dinner, what TV program you watch, or where you go on vacation, you have to be ok with compromise. Compromise shows respect, empathy and yes, love!” ~ Tim Brownson @ A Daring Adventure & Coach the LIfe Coach
- Secret #9 : Complete Acceptance ~ “The one secret to a happy loving relationship is to know that you cannot and are not even supposed to change someone else. You are not there to correct their flaws or to point out ways that they can “improve” their lives. So mind your own business but be a role model. Whatever you want to see in them, do in you first and be in you first. That is the way to a happy loving relationship of all kinds.” ~ Farnoosh Brock @ Prolific Living
- Secret #10 : Forgiveness is Miraculous ~ “The secret to a happy and loving relationship is forgiveness. We tend to hold grudges, feel wronged and hurt by those that we love most in our lives. Usually these misunderstandings and hurt feelings lead to conflict and distance between each other. Our egos love to jump into the scene and rule the day and that’s why forgiveness will ALWAYS save the day. A couple affirmations which Gabrille Bernstein suggests in her latest book, May Cause Miracles, allows for forgiveness in our lives; “I could see peace instead of this” and “I’d rather be happy than right”. Forgiveness is an everyday practice that will bring us more love in our lives and harmony in our relationships.” ~ Vishnu @ Vishnu’s Virtues
- Secret #11 : Strong Communication ~ “To me, the ONE secret to a happy, loving relationship is to have strong communication with your partner, your friends and your family. Now, communication is made up of a number of different things, but in this sense it’s about being open with your feelings, being honest, sharing intimacies and also asking questions, being interested in the other person and listening and supporting what they have to say. Communication is what starts relationships and it is what grows relationships.” ~ Brandan Baker @ The Start Of Happiness
- Secret #12 : Soul Commitment ~ “The One Secret to a Happy Loving Relationship with a spouse is Soul Commitment. Without commitment, there will be little desire to seek resolutions to conflict or differences.When we say our marriage vows, our willingness to commit becomes an intention. It is the intention that brings a couple together. Commitment at the soul level is to embrace everything in our spouses – both strengths and weaknesses. In a Happy Loving Relationship, there is perfect harmony and the balance of the yin and yang.” ~ Evelyn Lim @ Abundance Tapestry
- Secret #13 : Be Present and Listen ~ “My best tip for healthy relationship would be to practice being present; where your whole focus is simply on being present to the other person. Make it a meditation to simply be with your beloved partner, nothing to do or say, simply be. You might be amazed at the feeling of connection that opens up. Tip #2; when you’re having challenges, practice better communication with active listening. In short, one person shares their feelings in a responsible, non-blaming way while the other listens completely for the purpose of understanding. The second person repeats back what they think the first person said. The partners keep refining until the first person agrees that the second person has heard what they meant. Then the second person shares what they feel about the situation while the first person practices listening and understanding. The key is listening and speaking in ways that own your feelings and choices. ‘I feel angry when you do X’ versus ‘you make me angry’.” ~ Brad Volz @ Writing to Freedom
- Secret #14 : Complete Trust ~ “Trust is the glue that holds any positive relationship together. Without it, no amount of attraction or passion or compatibility or shared interests or anything else will matter much in the long run. Trust frees us of the insecurities and jealousy and doubt and fear that plague too many people’s lives. Such things poison relationships, introducing levels of anger and resentment and emotional disquiet that unravels the fabric that knit souls together. Trust is the antidote. Its ingredients include commitment and honesty, openness, vulnerability and a sound character.” ~ Ken Wert @ Meant to Be Happy
- Secret #15 : Understand the others perspective ~ “The ONE secret to any Happy Loving Relationship is to always put yourself in the other person’s shoes. Learn to see life from their perspective – and see how you can contribute to them. If you are 100% committed to them and their happiness, and you do NOT expect anything back from them, you’ll always have their good at heart. Also, you’ll never have any expectations from them and cannot be disappointed by them. And if you are lucky, the other person in that relationship will also feel and behave the same way. You’ll then be in “Relationship Nirvana”!” ~ Arvind Devalia @ Make it Happen
- Secret #16 : Express Yourself Openly ~ “One secret I’ve discovered for a happy, loving relationship is learning how to express your feelings and connect them to needs, as well as identifying the feelings and needs of others. When we have unmet needs and don’t communicate them in an effective manner, we develop feelings within us that create distance between the ones we love. If we can speak of our feelings, and ask for what it is that we need, we connect at the heart and create a space for a connected dialogue and resolution of any problem, no matter how large.” ~ Victor Schueller @ VictorSchueller.com
- Secret #17 : Respect Each other ~ “This past October, my husband Thomas and I celebrated 21 years of marriage. Our number one secret to the longevity of our loving partnership is respect. We respect and practice loving kindness. Successful relationships are built on a foundation of respect. Daily acts of kindness, (love notes, surprises, special dates etc.) go a long way to keep our love alive.” ~ Shann Vander Leek @ Transformation Goddess
- Secret #18 : Be Non-Judgemental ~ “Over the years, I’ve found that the happiest, most loving relationships are based on non-judgement. The degree to which we are capable of loving others unconditionally is a reflection of our ability to love ourselves. Once we learn to embrace our imperfection and practice non-judgment towards ourselves, it is then that we are able to love others with compassion and pure joy.” ~ Fran Sorin @ FranSorin.com
Happy Valentines Day!
♥♥”Please, Share this article on your favorite social networks. Every share, like or tweet makes me reach more people who need a positive healing nudge in their lives. Thank you!”♥♥
With Immense Love & Gratitude,