The consciousness of loving and being loved brings a warmth and richness to life that nothing else can bring. ~ Oscar Wilde
Let me begin by asking you a simple question:
Are You Loved? Truly and completely loved for who you truly are…by yourself and by those around you…
Many of my clients and people I meet feel like they Don’t deserve to be loved, as if they arent worthy of it, even if they are being loved. They believe they have so many flaws, that how could anyone possibly love them. Most of these insecurities come from past trauma, but they also boil down to one thing that is missing…Keep reading to find out.
Everyone deserves love! Love is a divine gift we each possess the spark of. In-fact, we ARE Love.
Everyone on Earth wants to experience and be loved, but with so many struggling relationships(now more due to the pandemic) and the enormous divorce rate, something is obviously missing.
Why are we still not getting what’s missing?
LOVE is whats missing.
Many of you will think, but we loved our partners, we have love in our lives, then how is love missing?
There is a simple cycle to solving this major issue of struggling relationships. The cycle is:
self love – give love – heal – self love
Notice how ‘give love’ and ‘heal’ are safely tucked in between self love?
We each deserve to be loved, but first and foremost loved by our-self. If we don’t love our-self for who we are, we will never be able to do justice to any of our relationships. And the relationship that suffers the most in this gross in-acceptance, is our relationship with our-self. Hence we feel unworthy of love.
So, to answer the question as to whats missing, it is SELF LOVE.
No, I’m not talking about the Narcissistic or ego driven self loathing.
Self Love is something completely different
Self Love is gentle, it is kind and it makes you feel whole again without hurting you or anyone around you. Self love is acceptance of your flaws, it is understanding your gifts, it is nurturing your soul, it is respecting yourself, it is being kind to yourself no matter what. To put it simply, self love is caring for yourself like you would your own child. It’s pure and healing.
Your relationship with Your- Self is the longest relationship you will ever have in this lifetime. You might as well, work on that relationship first.
We need to infuse happiness and healing into our self, before we can infuse that same happiness and healing into the world around us.
We all want to be completely healed of our past emotional scars. The simplest and only step you need to make the effort for is self love. The whole healing cycle will just follow naturally.
Fear Based Relationships Often Fail
“Fear is the question. Love is the answer.” ~ Rain Bojangles
I have an admission to make- I have had a string of failed relationships in my past. It’s not a fact I admit to normally, nor am I proud of this. But Today, as I have let my ego go, after all I’ve learned, understood, encountered and felt, I know one thing for certain….that all those relationships failed because I wasn’t ‘in self-love’ at the time. Had I been loving towards myself, there are many of those relationships I would’ve never even gotten into. My broken emotional heart at the time wanted to latch onto to anything that looked like love, even though it clearly wasn’t. Every time any of these relationships failed, I would blame myself and think I don’t deserve to be loved. My self worth was what I always always questioned first.
Today, after a lot of self love and divine intervention I’m whole and healed. I know I deserve love, cause I’m a divine creation meant for it. Today, If after all my giving of healthy love, a relationship still fails, its ok. Yes it will hurt, but I also know it’s not my fault. I don’t blame myself. Because I know I’ve honestly given all my love in the nurturing of the relationship. And again, if a certain relationship runs its course, the end of it doesn’t distraught me. Infact it gives me a new found clarity about myself and my needs. If the relationship is meant to be, it will be.
I have understood the greatest life lesson from all the heartache, and that is, that a healthy loving relationship brings with it peace and not angst or drama.
My relationship with myself is my guiding force today. I need to be able to look myself in the mirror everyday with a clear conscience and a beaming smile that so deserves all the love it can get. Giving love and healing become such an amazing by product of self love.
Next Week: By popular demand and from all the emails I have got in my time away from the blog(almost two months!), the topic will be something on the lines of how to develop and nurture self love. While I have written about it many times over the years, there is still a lot more that I feel can help all the souls out there. Be ready to bathe in self love next week 🙂
What are YOUR thoughts on this topic? Do YOU think you are worthy of love? When it comes to self-love, what are your thoughts and experiences on the same? Share your beautiful thoughts in the comments of this article.
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If we can love ourselves we can give love freely to others. We know what it feels and enjoy it. One needs to know love to give love. You certainly give love with this post, thank you.
Over the last year I have decided to treat myself as I would my BFF. In fact, I’ve made “me” my BFF. I love her, take care of her, tell her what she needs to hear which isn’t always what she wants to hear, and make sure that she takes good care of herself. Not only am I more loving to those around me, but I can handle the chaos around me better as well.
Thank you for these words of wisdom, Zeenat, and the important message about self-love. As you’ve stated here, the relationship with ourselves is THE most important one. All others stem from it as does our happiness, mental health, and success in life. I found out the hard way, but, at least I learned.
Like you Zeenat, back in my youth I had a string of unhappy and sadly sometimes abusive relationships. It took a while to realize that I didn’t care for myself enough if I allowed this pattern to continue. And once my perspective changed, everything changed! Value yourself, and others value you, respect yourself and others respect you, love yourself and you experience true, genuine heartfelt love from others.
I look forward to your reading more of your inspiring thoughts on this topic. It is a vital one. And affects every corner of our life.
This is a beautiful post, Zeenat! I especially love the way you speak of self-love being gentle. I completely agree, self-love is the missing link!
This was a great reminder of self-worth! I loved when you said the solution is, “self love – give love – heal – self love”. We can’t learn to love without loving ourselves. And it starts and ends there. Everything else comes naturally in between. –Ryan