Positive Prompt: The 5 Compliments Rule

a-compliment-is-verbal-sunshine2“A compliment is verbal Sunshine.” ~ Robert Orben

A few years back I had started a positive healing practice.  I had the practice of paying 10 compliments a day.

I started this practice because I wanted to become more positive towards others. I needed to let go of past pain and resentment. My spiritual mentors suggested this practice would instil in me the positive seeds of love, compassion, gratitude and happiness, which would flourish with time. They were right!

The Compliments Practice:

I used to make an effort to go up to people (literally complete strangers) and pay them a compliment. Initially, I really had to make an effort to notice something nice about them and gather the courage to do so. But I got better at it with every passing day.

I used to pay simple compliments like:

  • That’s a great color on you!
  • I love your sense of style
  • I think You have an amazing way with your kids.
  • I love how focused you are.

The things that happened out of my compliment conversations were absolutely the highlights of my week. Seeing so many faces light up, or relax, or tear up because of a simple compliment. I gave compliments to strangers (“that’s a great color on you” or ones that took more courage like “I love your sense of style” or “you have an amazing way with your kids”) and to people I knew – often following up on a meeting or time with a friend with a quick note saying what I so appreciated about them.

I often fell short of my goal of 10 compliments a day, but that high goal kept me stretching – so even when I only found 3 or 4 or 5 opportunities, that still had a huge impact on the quality of my day and cumulatively the quality of my life.

Today, I compliment with an open heart….without any effort whatsoever, naturally and seamlessly. Its such a simple yet profound practice that has helped me immensely to come out of past resentment I held toward others in my life.

Your Positive Prompt for the week:

Your prompt this week is much like my practice. You need to make up your mind to notice and pay at least 5 compliments a day to people you know and don’t know. Its daunting at first, I know. But so worth the try.

Start with yourself first. Look at the mirror and say “I’m amazing. I am …..(mention 3-5 positive qualities about yourself).” Do this in the morning while you brush your teeth 🙂 Then, with that frame of mind it gets simpler and easier to pay loving positive compliments to all those you encounter. When you feel good about yourself, you feel good about others too.

Don’t underestimate the value of a compliment.

A compliment, given sincerely and openly, shows your appreciation and caring. The main guideline to giving a compliment is to be sincere and genuine.

Ask yourself to recognize what is important, what needs to be spoken, and what can be offered as a selfless gift. Then open your heart and send your words with loving compassion. Allow your voice and tone to convey the truth of what you speak.

Always use “I” messages to convey your compliments. For example, rather than saying, “You are such a calm and strong person,” you can say, “I value your calm nature and your show of strength.” A good “I” message is more difficult to be deflected or argued against. In addition, “I” messages are personal revelations, while “you” messages are judgements.

Some examples of complimentary messages include:
• One thing I value about you . . .
• One thing I admire about you . . .
• I think it was really inspiring the way you . . .

To many, it can feel frightening to give or receive compliments if you are not used to do that. And that’s ok! But it can also help you to start noticing good things about yourself and other people, increase positive energy, and bring a sense of connection. You deserve to feel good. So try opening up, just a little bit, to real compliments. A sincere compliment, whether given or received, can transform the day and make you feel like a good person. What could be so bad about that?

What are your thoughts on this topic? Do you love to give and recieve compliments? Whats the most memorable compliment you ever recieved? Do share your thoughts in the comments below. Lets get complimenting 😉

Oh and before I forget….. I think YOU ARE AWESOME! 🙂

Thank you so much for stopping by! If this article touched your heart, please share it on facebook, twitter, etc. with your loved ones and pass on the positivity and love. 

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12 thoughts on “Positive Prompt: The 5 Compliments Rule

  1. I think you are awesome too, Zeenat! I love the idea of giving more compliments. And, I’m not opposed to receiving them either. Thanks for the prompt.

  2. Serenity has taken up permanent residence all around your face, zeenat. I can see it in the abundance of positivity and optimism reflecting in your writings, in turn passing on to the reader. Please keep it coming…best wishes.

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