Grasp this Positively Magical tool for a Better Life

On By Zeenat Merchant Syal|PositiveProvocations.comIn Mind, Heart& Soul-Motivation&Inspiration, Mind-Mental Health

Do you want to live a better life?

A happier life. A content life. Who are you kidding…Ofcourse you do!

We all very well know what it’s like to want to live a better life. We want to be healed of our childhood wounds. We want to be free of the burdens that weigh us down. We want to feel happier and more content. We want to be engaged in a life we love. We want our hearts to sing, our minds to relax, and our bodies to feel good.

But most of the time in life we are unable to live that way or achieve that level of happiness.

Why?

Cause we become are own worst enemies, our own worst critics. Our negative mind takes over in full force when there is some thing we have not been able to do or complete. Our expectation of ourselves are so high, that we spend our whole lives trying to reach those expectations, only to realize at the fag end, that they were not your hopes and dreams to begin with. The world around us will influence us negatively IF we allow it to.

The Positively Magical Tool For a Better Life

“A moment of self-compassion can change your entire day. A string of such moments can change the course of your life.” Christopher Germer

In over 10 years helping people make a shift into a more fulfilling life, I have seen firsthand what works and what doesn’t, what brings success and what brings struggle. From my years of interaction, I have found one tool that makes the most difference to people’s successful transformation. That Magical tool is self-compassion!

What is self-compassion?

Consider your answers to these questions:

• Are you compassionate and gentle to yourself when you lose, fail, or face disappointment as well as when you win or excel?

• Are you kind and forgiving to yourself when you feel regret and sadness?

• Do you build yourself up instead of beating yourself down?

• Are you more likely to think, “Everybody makes mistakes now and then” or fall into a “I’m such a loser” attitude?

Very simply, self-compassion is having mercy, love and sweetness for yourself no matter what else you might be experiencing. It is the ability to treat yourself kindly in the face of failure, rejection, defeat, and other difficult experiences. And it is the ability to accept yourself as human, having a wide variety of human experiences.

With self-compassion, if you care about yourself, you do what’s healthy for you rather than what’s harmful to you.

“I have come to believe that caring for myself is not self indulgent. Caring for myself is an act of survival.” – Audre Londe

Many of us feel that if we are caring for ourselves so much, we are either being selfish or self indulgent. I often hear people say, “But how can I think about ‘me’ when my loved ones are in trouble? Am I not being completely selfish?”

There are always things in life or in ourselves that we are not quite satisfied with. Cultivating self-compassion helps you focus on your present circumstance with more kindness and less judgment. By doing so, you are more likely to relax and find your creative center. Tapping into deep inner creative resources can lead you to discover new solutions to life’s unpleasant events…not only for yourself but also for your loved ones.

A happier, calmer, self compassionate YOU is truly the answer to many of your life’s confusions. When you are happier with yourself, you are happier with the world around you and in-turn are able to take care of your loved ones with more creative passion. Is there anything selfish about that??

When things get rough, take a deep breath, and give yourself a big compassionate break. You deserve it!

I personally use this positive affirmation to center myself, especially on those days when my monkey mind will not stop taking negative somersaults :

“I am happy, I am well, I am kind and loving to myself.”

You must believe that you are doing the best that you can in any given moment. That is truly enough.

Your thoughts: Please share your thoughts, stories and questions in the comments below. Your interaction here provides wisdom for us all to benefit from. Thank you for stopping by!

Photo by Carolin

♥♥”Thank you SO much for reading! Please, share this article on your favorite social networks. Every share, like or tweet makes me reach more people who need a positive healing nudge in their lives. I truly appreciate you!”♥♥

With Immense Love & Gratitude,
~Zeenat~

GET YOUR ‘POSITIVE HAPPINESS GOODIES’!!! Get the latest articles(FREE) as soon as they are published, by Email OR RSS.PLUS if you are an Email Subscriber, You get the Positive Living Handbook+My Ebook “The Best of Positive Provocations”+ “Your Self Healing Starter Kit”. Come Join the facebook community & follow me on Twitter and Google+ for Positive Provocations Everyday!

Other Positive Articles you will love:

16 thoughts on “Grasp this Positively Magical tool for a Better Life”

  2. I agree Zeenat. In the last year, I’ve found more peace and contentment through self-love and compassion. Learning to be gentle, caring and accepting of myself. Accepting my failures, imperfections and changing emotions. Thanks for sharing your wisdom and heart. blessings, Brad

  3. This is so true, Zeenat! I’ve found this exact pattern in healing myself and in helping others heal. I think the lack of self-compassion is precisely what keeps people reaching out for quick fixes and temporary pseudo-solutions. They cannot face the idea of “failing” because of how they’ll speak to themselves if they do!

    Isn’t it silly to fear one’s own abuse? It seems like the kind of thing that we should be able to stop doing any moment. And yet… so many people are doing this, it’s hard to think about.

    You are so right – it starts with being easy on ourselves, with saying “It’s okay to be where I am. I’m here for a reason.”

    Sometimes, when I am overwhelmed, I only do about 1-2 productive hours a day. The rest is self-care. I would have never done that before I started being kind to myself. I would have pushed and pushed until I got sick, anxious, and self-destructive.

    It’s amazing how much things change with a little self-love 🙂

    So happy you’re sharing this important message with the world!

    1. Hi Vironika,
      Its silly indeed! As it is we are dealing with hostile external environments everyday….the least we can do for ourselves is let our internal(heart) environment remain happy and calm. But thats just the way negative mental conditioning of a lifetime works. Realizing that we are being negative with ourself can be the very first step in healing.
      I loved your insightful comment here V!
      Thank you for sharing and caring 🙂
      Much Love~

  4. Hi Zeenat,

    I completely agree with you – self-compassion is magical! We can move ahead only if we understand that we can’t succeed in each and every aspect of life, in all the projects we undertake and if we fail, it is very natural. Self-talk guides us through the moments of dejection and steers us towards self-compassion. It is very important to tell ourselves that nobody is perfect, that there is always another opportunity, that one failure or even ten failures don’t matter as far as we have the energy and the good health to keep going.

    Thanks for spreading such beautiful and positive thoughts.

  5. Greetings Zeenat,
    Self compassion is very healthy. It is also the foundation, the prerequisite to being able to love others and accept them as they are, without judgment. This post is eminently wise. Thank you for reminding us to be kinder and gentler to our self.

    Blessings!
    Bill

    1. Hi William,
      Acceptance without judgment is a key ingredient of a successful relationship.
      Thank you so much for shedding your light to this post.
      Oh and may I add, that I love love love your gravatar pic. So smiley and shiny. Wow!
      Love the lovely energy you exude.
      Much Love~

  6. Love this and love you, Zeenat, for this post! I’m really good at preaching self-compassion but not-so-good at making it so for me. I did, however, give myself a weekend of downtime and that is self-compassion, right?

    Definitely going to use your affirmation,“I am happy, I am well, I am kind and loving to myself.” You’re the best!

    1. Hi Beth,
      I love you right back!
      And a whole weekend of down time..wowie…I haven’t been able to do that in eons! I usually take a whole day off once a week…that balances me out and make me feel all good.
      I would love to hear how the affirmation helps you.
      So happy that you stopped by and shared your thoughts here.
      Much Love~

  7. Dearest Zeenat,

    Thank you so much for this wonderful post! It is so important to have compassion for ourselves and others. I have devoted my blog to the practice of forming loving habits. I am forming loving habits in my own life and helping my readers to do so as well. We can decide to view the world through a lens of love, and just like Christopher Germer states, forming these sorts of habits can change our entire lives.

    With warmth,

    Sean

    1. Hi Sean,
      I’m so glad you stopped by here and shared your vision. I especially loved, “We can decide to view the world through a lens of love”…thats my kind of thinking 🙂
      Thank you so much for all the light you share with the world.
      Much Love~

  8. Pingback: Positive provocations – spreading positivity, love and happiness

Comments are closed.