“To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance. ~ Oscar Wilde

This Valentine’s Day lets celebrate our SELF. Lets start the day by loving ourSelf…….

Self love is at the very core of well-being  joy, self-empowerment, and your ability to create and enjoy the kind of life you want. You cannot enjoy happiness if you are not at peace with yourself. Your relationship with yourself is the most important one you’ll ever have.

From the spiritual perspective, it is by turning your attention inward to yourSelf that you are able to experience your connection with Life, with God, with All That Is.

From the human perspective, every relationship you ever have with someone else exactly mirrors one or more aspects of the relationship you have with yourself.

Yet, how often have you heard yourself say, “I love Myself.”?

If your goals involve raising your confidence, ending depression, moving beyond diets or overeating behaviors, or just plain wanting to live a happier, fulfilled life, you have to know what self-love looks like. Learn how to define self-love and then how to bring it into your own life!

Self Love is a mystery and not easily definable. However, it does have certain characteristics. Self-love is a consuming passion for your own happiness. It is an ongoing choice you make to be glad to alive, here on Earth, in your own body.

Self-love occurs when you decide who you are and what you want is important. It is an inner state of being which develops as you decide it is all right to build a kind, sensuous, and meaningful partnership with your self. Self-love involves deciding to connect with your dreams and then supporting yourself with encouraging thoughts and empowering self-supportive actions.

How do I Start Loving Myself?

“Dare to Love yourself as if you were a rainbow with gold at both ends.”~ Aberjhani

Increasing your love of self involves an intention to become more self-loving and then following up this intention with reinforcing actions. An intention involves a conscious decision to be happier and more fulfilled in your own life. You make a new decision to be alive . . . and then accept personal responsibility to make your life a better, more enjoyable experience. It may take considerable effort to pry yourself out of a life that feels less than joyful, but it is entirely possible to have the kind of life you want for yourself.

The First(and biggest) Step to Loving Your SELF : Write a Love Note to Your Self

I have an admission to make- I have had a string of failed relationships in my past. Its not a fact I admit to normally, nor am I proud of this. But Today, after all I’ve learned, understood, encountered and felt I know one thing for certain….that all those relationships failed because I wasn’t ‘in self-love’ at the time. Had I been loving towards myself, there are many of those relationships I would’ve never even gotten into. My broken emotional heart at the time wanted to latch onto to anything that looked like love, even though it clearly wasn’t. I know this now. Every time any of these relationships failed, I would blame myself and think I dont deserve to be loved.

After a lot of self love and divine intervention I’m whole and healed.

I started my practice of Self love by keeping a Love Notes Handbook in my handbag way back in 1996. Everytime I felt a whiff of negativity rise I would open this little note book and jot in just one Love Line to myself. If I wasn’t in the mood to write a line…I would just read it and instantly I am reminded of how much I deserve to love myself, no matter what life throws my way.

One of my Self Love notes(which I read very often) :

Dear Heart of  Z,

You deserve love, cause you’re a divine creation meant for it. If after giving all of your love, a relationship still fails, its ok. Its not your fault. Don’t blame yourself. Because I know you have given all your love in the nurturing of the relationship. Let every experience you have give you a new found clarity about yourself and your needs. If you are sad, know that its time to learn from this experience. You are amazing, beautiful, nurturing and unique. Don’t you ever forget that! Be Love always and all will be well. Dont let the world ever bring you down. You are meant to heal everyone you meet…it might hurt sometimes, but its okay. You are stronger than your experiences. Know, that I love you and support you, no matter where life takes you. Go on Be Love and keep that beaming smile pasted on your heart forever.

With love,

Me( Dec, 1998) {unedited}

My relationship with myself is my guiding force today. I need to be able to look myself in the mirror everyday with a clear conscience and a beaming smile that so so deserves all the love it can get.

Giving love and healing become such an amazing by product of self love.

In the spirit of Self Love and Healing this Valentines day, I asked some of my friends who are also from the Personal Development field to share their Self Love Notes with you….so that You too may start this simple yet powerful practice and take your healing in your own hands. For a healed heart is a whole heart.

Healing Self-Love Notes

Alex Blackwell @ The Bridgemaker’s Self Love Note:

Angela Artemis @ Powered By Intuition’s Self Love Note :

“Recently I had a revelation. I realized that I had been very unkind to myself for most of my adult life. I pushed myself to exhaustion and rarely took time off to play and enjoy life. This Valentine’s Day I’m shooting the arrow of love straight to my own heart. I’m going to be my own Valentine from now on and treat myself with tender loving kindness.”

David Stevens @ Life coach’s Self Love Note :

“You are my very best friend. Your smile makes me happy. Your words comfort me. Your presence lifts me. You complete me. Continue your special part in my Life. Together, we will conquer any barriers to our continued Love and Happiness.”

Joe Wilner @ Shake off The Grind’s Self Love Note:

“You no longer have to be perfect.
You no longer have to compare yourself to others.
Your self-worth is not based on what you do.
It is not based on what you have or who you know.
You are worthy just because you’re alive.
Love yourself, care for yourself, and value yourself.
I accept you for who you are and embrace where you have been.
You deserve love, peace, and happiness this Valentine’s Day.”

Kaylee Rupp @ Zen Caffeine’s Self Love Note:

“Dearest Kaylee, Middle-school teasing made self-love so hard for so long. But with time, patience, and love, you are healing so beautifully! You wear your face, make-up free, with pride. You respect yourself with boundaries and right relationships. You are giving yourself the love that you DESERVE! And I am so proud of you for it. Lovely lady, you are capable, wise, brilliant and beautiful. Don’t you ever forget it. With deepest love, Me!”

Sandra Pawula @ Always Well Within’s Self Love Note:

“Dear Sandra, May you be well, happy, and safe.  May you have happiness and the causes of happiness and be free of suffering and the causes of suffering.  Like the sun and it’s rays, may you realize your true essence and become the heart of love, compassion, and wisdom.  Sent with love, tenderness, and affection from your true self.”

Jodi Chapman @ Soul Speak’s Self Love Note:

“Dear Jodi, I love you. You could honestly do anything (or not do anything), and I would still love you. I am so proud of you. I admire you, look up to you, and am inspired by you. I look at you and am amazed at who you are, who you have become, who you will become, and who you always will be. I love how much you are learning and growing and expanding. I love that you are consciously filling your world with love. I am so proud of you for facing your fears and continually pushing through them. I am so happy that you are such a wonderful person with such a pure soul. You are amazing, and I love you so much! Love, Me/You”

Vidya Sury @ Going AMusing’s Self Love Note:

“Dear Vidya, I love you. You are a warm, compassionate and strong individual and blessed with the ability to make others smile. The best things about you are your readiness to smile and to help others, your sense of humor and your cheerfulness as you go about your day. Your strength is in staying positive, optimistic and positive even when you don’t feel so great. You are ready to forgive and heal because you recognize the value of living in the present moment. You have the gift of loving unconditionally and being completely dependable. As you grow personally and spiritually, let go of past hurts. Know that you are loved and cherished by all those who know you. This year, slow down a little and allow yourself time to relax. Concentrate on taking good care of yourself. You can accomplish anything you want to because of your ability to stick with anything to the end. Now go, look in the mirror and say I love you. Lovingly, Vidya”

Victor Schuller @ VictorSchuller.com’s Self Love Note:

“You are a wonderful person, inside and out.  You bring sunshine to others with your positive and encouraging words, and you bring hope to many people who feel hope is lost.  Remember how special you are, and how love is something that you deserve, as you well know that everyone deserves to receive love!”

Sandi Amorim @ Deva Coaching’s Self Love Note:

“Dearest, All I want to do is wrap my arms around you and hold you close. I witness your struggle, and remind you gently that you are always on the right path, always moving forward. Because you forget, and it breaks my heart. Like the poet Hafiz whom you love, you are a raging volcano of love and it is time to let that love flow through you and back to your Soul.”

Betsy Henry @ Zen Mama’s Self Love Note:

So what’s the gift you should give your child (or spouse, parents, in-laws, co-workers) for Valentine’s Day? The gift I’m thinking of wouldn’t cost you a dime. It’s UNCONDITIONAL LOVE! What is unconditional love? Unconditional Love is the greatest gift you can give your children or other loved ones. It’s accepting a person, faults and accomplishments, no matter what they do. Pure and Simple.  If asked, I’m sure you’d say that you love your children and other family members unconditionally. That is, until they do something annoying or something you feel isn’t good for them.  Unconditional love is understanding if the people we love make foolish mistakes or disappoint us, that we love them just as much anyway. This kind of love binds us together in ways we can’t imagine. It’s the love you want for yourself. And amazingly if you give that love, you often get the same love back.

Suzie Cheel @ Inspiration from the heart’s Self Love Note:

Dear Suzie: Your heart whispers I love you, I am so grateful to you. I am a blessing to you and the world. Today I will be gentle and kind with you. Today I will allow you to shine, you will feel your passion. You will listen to your heart’s whispers and know that. You are beautiful, you are whole and you are love.

Evelyn Lim @ Abundance Tapestry’s Self Love Note:

On this Valentine’s Day, I would like to let you know that you are truly loved.  There have been times when you have felt hurt, down and angry on the inside.  Then, there are others when you have felt less than perfect. As a result, you have found it hard to embrace – much less, accept – yourself. May you know that no matter what, love flows to you from the spiritual heart.  The spiritual heart is the heart of your soul that connects you to the divine.  May pure love heal you completely of your wounds, and may you be restored to the state of wholeness.

Farnoosh Brock @ Prolific Living’s Self Love Note:

“Farnoosh, sweet darling, you know I am crazy about you. Yes, I know that may sound silly or implied, but it goes unsaid too often. I am madly in love with whom you have become, how much courage you have shown in charting your own course and living life on your own exact terms, and how openly you have embraced every obstacle but haven’t even thought for a second about giving up. Most of all, I love that you get so much joy in sharing this message with the conflicted souls that feel lost and unhappy following anything but their hearts because you only know too well how that feels. I love you for being yourself and for helping others be themselves. Signed with love, Your highest self.”

Ken Wert @ Meant to be Happy’s Self Love Note:

Dear Past Self:I want to thank you for becoming the person I’m thrilled to be today. I want to thank you for overcoming what was difficult to overcome, for learning the lessons life taught you, for refusing to accept things as they were, for reaching and working and challenging and growing. You cleared the way for the happiness I now enjoy. I thank you and I love you for that. Dear Future Self: Get the party started. I’m coming!

Evita Ochel @ Evolving Beings’s Self Love Note:

“Dear One, You are a spark of Divine energy, perfect and precious as all others—no less, no more. You are unlimited potential here to express yourself in all of the creative ways that speak to your heart and soul. You are worthy beyond measure and have nothing to prove, and no one to please. Always remember that beauty is a state of being, it is not how you look; success is a state of mind, it is not what you do; your story is just one possible creative expression, it is not who you are. And the most important love, is not a love that comes from the outside—it cannot be given to you by any other, no matter who they are—it is something you have to give yourself, it comes from within. Love yourself, and in turn you love the world, and allow all of creation to reflect that love right back to you.”

Paige Burkes @ Simple Mindfulness’s Self Love Note:

To My Beautiful, Amazing Self,I know I don’t tell you often enough what an amazing person you are.  Others are uplifted and inspired by your loving, giving nature. Your children and husband are so lucky to have you as a warm, nurturing mother and wife. You know that you’re capable of anything you can imagine. The Universe wouldn’t have made it possible for you to imagine your possibilities if you couldn’t accomplish them.  As you travel along your journey, remember to slow down to notice the beauty that constantly surrounds you.  Take loving care of yourself as if you were your own child.  Life isn’t a race. Everything happens in its own perfect time. Love yourself.Peace

Hiten Vyas @ The Empower Blog’s Self Love Note:

Dear Self, Until I began to love you I suffered terribly. When I learnt to love you, my life completely changed. I thank you with all my heart this year on St Valentine’s Day for always being there for me. Thank you for giving me the wisdom to find you. I know you will always be there. All my love, Hiten

Amit Sodha @ Unlimited Choice’s Self Love Note:

Well hey there good lookin’, Do you know how much you mean to me?  You are so valuable that I couldn’t not possibly put a price on it.  No matter what you’ve done, you are worthy of love.  You are made up of both good and the bad and every single quality you exude is perfect, no matter what it is.  God loves you just the way you are and wants you to always remember that.  Stay just the way you are.  Don’t change to be loved or receive admiration.  You receive the most amount of love and gratitude by being you.  Now mister, go strut your stuff and show the world just yummy you are!

Fran Sorin @ FranSorin.com’s Self Love Note:

‘On this special day, sink into the love that that is being sent to you from family, friends, and the universe. You’re a kind, compassionate, and loving individual. Your contribution of ‘being love’ is a significant one and helping to transform the world.Even when life is tough never question that you’re perfect exactly as you are. Once you experience ‘self love’, your ability to send love out into the world will be awesome and pure.’

Sibyl Chavis @ The Possibility of Today’s Self Love Note:

Deep down you have always been your Extraordinary Side – your highest self. It’s the force behind your dreams. It fuels your desires. It’s what makes you know, without a doubt, that life is filled with endless possibilities for you to seize. It’s easy to get distracted. Don’t allow all you are busy with and all that happens overshadow all that you really are.

Arvind Devalia @ Make it Happen’s Self Love Note:

Arvind, I love you with all my heart. You are beautiful and amazing. I will love you always and I’ll always be there for you. Remember to always love yourself. And you of all people should know about love and loving yourself. After all, you wrote a book about it! {FREE!! Please Download Arvind’s “Love is all that Matters” Kindle book for free from Amazon for the next 3 days (Thur/ Fri/ Sat) only! After these three days it will be back to being a paid book…so hurry!!}

Afterthoughts :

After reading all the above Self Love Notes please take the time to write a short self love note to yourself. Take this healing step today.

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Special Valentines Gift for ONE Lucky Commenter!

Start by leaving a comment below this post saying “(your name)..I Love You.” eg. “Zeenat I love you” or if your name is John “John I love you…” or just “I love you”

You can leave the comment anonymously too. But take the step and write those loving words to yourself. Let this Valentines Day be about loving yourself. For when you can love yourself completely, you can love everyone and everything in your life that completely too.

Make sure you leave a comment below this post.

One commenter will be picked to receive a ‘Free Online Counseling Session with me‘. Winner will be announced on 27th of February 2013!

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p.s. I love you all and Happy Valentine’s Day. Don’t ever forget how amazing you truly are. <hugs>

With Immense Love & Gratitude,
~Zeenat~
Counseling Psychologist/ Spiritual Counselor
Motivational Speaker/Naturopath
Holistic Healer/Writer

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