“My primary relationship is with myself – all others are mirrors of it. As I learn to love myself, I automatically receive the love and appreciation that I desire from others. If I am committed to myself and to living my truth, I will attract others with equal commitment.”~Shakti Gawain

While we all know and agree that Self Love is the ONLY force that can make us whole and healed, we still struggle with it. In a recent workshop on Self love, while discussing the merits of it, a kind gentleman asked, “But I think self love is just too self indulgent and narcissistic! How can I think of myself when I have so many responsibilities towards my family and loved ones? Shouldn’t I be thinking of them first before my own needs?” ~ I smiled at him and said, “How can you fully serve your loved ones and make them happy, when you are not happy yourself? If you are having a shitty day, will you go home and be loving to your family or be moody?” He said, “Ofcourse, I’ll be moody! I have to vent at some point.” I responded, “Is that fair to your family? If you love yourself, you will NOT allow yourself to be sucked into a shitty day. You will give yourself the gift of calming down and being happy no matter what kind of day you are having, because you know YOU are worth it. Anger, irritations, shitty days etc won’t trouble your inner happiness. And then when you go home, how will you be with your family?” At this point I could see his eyes soften and he said, “I will be loving and kind……..I understand now…. that Self Love is NOT self indulgent or narcissistic…it is actually nurturing to me and all those around me too. Thank you!!!”

Now the BIG Question we all face from time to time is  ~ “How do we cultivate this self love for limitless happiness everyday?” The answer to this question is simple and oh so doable! I do it everyday and so do so many others.

As a Valentine’s Day Gift to YOU(and your inner loving self), this article is going to be chalk full of Positive Ways to Cultivate Self Love by me and the BIG personalities of the Personal Development field. Feast your hearts on the awesomeness that follows and soak it all in. You WILL devour every way!

For in Loving yourself will you find lasting and limitless happiness!

Positive Ways to Cultivate Self Love for Limitless Happiness ~ Happy Valentine’s Month!

What do you do on a daily basis to cultivate your Self Love and how has that positively helped you?

This is what I do: To nurture my spirit everyday with things that make me feel good is my idea of daily self love. I wake up early each morning to pray, to meditate, to go for my nature walk, to do yoga, to read and listen to motivational teachings. All these positive habits nurture my spirit and keep me centered all throughout the day. In my line of work I meet many many troubled souls, and its very easy for me to fall prey to their lower vibrations…but these practices help me to stay on higher more positive vibrations and to lift up all those who I encounter to those vibrations too. Isn’t that a marvelous?!! I love ME and that is why I love everyone and everything around me, cause I know they are all part of me and reflections of me.
A mantra I use for myself and keep repeating in my heart for everyone I meet : “I’m sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. I Love You.” ~ This is the Hoʻoponopono (ho-o-pono-pono) mantra. It is an ancient Hawaiian practice of reconciliation and forgiveness of self and others. It instills Oneness of all in the heart.

Here is what the Big Personalities of Personal Development had to say in response to the above question:

“For me the path and practice of yoga has been transformational. And I am the first to assert that yoga is not about pretzel poses and black stretchy pants. Coming to the mat, coming to my breath and body just as it is every and any given day is self love. Acceptance and love for where I am allows me to expand and reach out to love others more fully.” ~ Lynn Louise Wonders from Wonders of Wellness.

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“I find that a major reason why we humans often struggle with loving ourselves is because there is a conflict between how we see ourselves and how we believe we should be: we see ourselves in a very poor light, and at the same time we expect ourselves to be nearly faultless. And this gap creates a lot of needless frustration for us.  So one thing I try to do daily is to mentally close this gap. I seek to acknowledge my strengths and see myself in a more positive light, while at the same time letting go of unrealistic expectations of how I should be.  It always helps me relax, feel good about myself, and use my time more wisely.” ~ Eduard Ezeanu from People Skills Decoded.

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“My self care is pretty basic since I’m not much on “pampering myself.” I get up in the morning and meditate for about 20 minutes. While in meditation I also do creative visualization to focus on what I’m creating in my life. After I meditate I write in my journal. I’m usually flooded with ideas or I’ll remember my dream and will want to analyze it for intuitive guidance. After I meditate I exercise or take a walk. Doing this daily sets the tone for my day. When I skip a day I don’t feel right. I believe getting clarity is an important act of self-care for me and both meditation and journaling help me do that.” ~ Angela Artemis from Powered By Intuition.

“My day starts with a quiet meditation of up to 30 minutes and this activity of self-love sustains me throughout the day.This meditation nurtures me at a deep level and infuses me with a vibrant positivity which makes me see the world through the eyes of gratitude and love. On a practical level, meditating early in the morning also allows me to plan out my working day and gives me clarity on the key actions I have to take each day. Another key positive practice of self-love I adopt daily is preparing the healthiest meals I can and eating mindfully without any distractions. This sustains me in the best way possible so I can fulfil my worldly obligations and continue to create my legacy in the best ways possible. Life is short and so precious – and by adopting simple but powerful daily practices of self-love, we can all make our lives that much more enjoyable and fulfilling.” ~ Arvind Devalia from Making it Happen.

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“I begin each day and conclude every evening with a loving gratitude prayer. I give thanks for my healthy body, mind and soul. I practice staying in the present moment without getting too serious about life. I let go of what no longer serves me, again and again… I feel amazing when I look after myself. We can give the most when we put ourselves at the front of the line.” ~ Shann Vander Leek from Transformation Goddess.

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“To cultivate self-love, I practice listening, accepting (including all the difficult thoughts and feelings) and encouraging myself. I listen to the inner voices and offer kindness. I tell myself “I love you, I appreciate you and I see the beauty in you.” and other encouraging, empowering words. And I make sure to eat well, exercise, get sleep, nature time and social time to nurture all the aspects of my body, mind and being. Reading and writing mystic poetry is good for my emotions and soul. 🙂 These practices have evened out my emotional swings, brought more peace and the motivation to take action toward my goals. I feel more confident and alive. May we nurture and encourage the beauty and love in all.” ~ Brad Volz from Writing to Freedom.

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“I seem to be cultivating more self-love each year! I think it’s a continuous learning journey. I learn one skill, apply it, see the results and then move to the next while still continuing the first. So, it’s like a compounding self-love effect the more I understand who I am and how I operate.For example, a couple of years ago I realised I wasn’t getting the amount of sleep I really needed to function properly. So I made the commitment to get at least 8 hours of sleep every single night. Once I had that knuckled down and I was realising the benefits, I started reading over my goals on a daily basis to help me stay focused on what I truly desire in life. After I had this habit embedded, I moved on to saying positive affirmations each morning that help to train my mind to focus on the good in life. The benefits have been surreal.Now, I’ve just started undertaking a meditation course and I’m starting to apply this into my daily life.It’s been a continuous journey for me when it comes to cultivating self-love. As a result, I’m getting more in-tune with my mind and body.” ~ Brendan Baker from Start of Happiness.

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“To cultivate self love, I make sure I stay connected to my personal values and priorities on a daily basis. This keeps me connected to and in alignment with my personal sense of self-love, self-worth, and self-respect. There is so much in our society that tries to pull us in each and every direction; we are constantly bombarded from external sources as to what we should buy, do, and eat, or how we should behave, etc. By staying true to who I am, what is important to me, and what is worthy of entering my body or becoming part of my life, I cultivate a high degree of self love that nurtures my being and allows me to live with integrity and authenticity. By choosing to be in alignment with ourselves, we cultivate self love; the more self love we cultivate, the more we live in alignment with who we are, honoring our personal journey of spiritual evolution.” ~ Evita Ochel from Evolving Beings.

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“Everyday, I remind myself that love is God, and God is love. It’s nothing but a loving energy that prevails in the Universe. We ourselves are an abode of this energy and we realize this if we take the journey deep inside.

So, I make it a ritual to meditate on this love energy, which in turn fills me with compassion. As a result, I feel more peaceful and positive. Such a practice helps you change your outlook, your perspective, and helps get rid of prejudices, if you have any.

I recommend everyone to consider themselves as a physical form of love, worthy of love, and a giver of love. Your body, status, money and education do not matter – what matters is your capability to feel love and love others. This love revolution starts with one person… let’s make it two – you and me. :)” ~ Harleena Singh from Aha Now!

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“Every single day I make the choice to forgive everything I’ve done as well totally accept everything that I am.  We are all, each of us, fallible human beings.  And so, with that acceptance and forgiveness I find it in myself to love everything about myself. There are days when I chastise, but I even forgive and love that because the secret is not to resist weaknesses, but to flow with them.  Flow with yourself, love yourself but do not fight yourself.  This has been one of the greatest gifts I’ve given to me.  And so, give that same gift to yourself, love yourself, as you do another.” ~ Amit Sodha from Unlimited Choice.

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“I have seen the extreme edges of self-love that exalts a person to arrogance. Therefore I have learnt to nurture a three dimensional approach to self-love – acceptance, compassion and analysis. I know what I am, I know I am not perfect and so it inspires me to introspect, welcome the changes and assimilate them. I know that self-love defines us, acceptance awakens us, compassion stimulates our inner voice, self-analysis keeps us grounded and soothes our self-esteem with subtle suggestions of being sensitive to our little dreams, desires and blessings. I eat healthy food, take advice from my mirror but pamper myself with all those forbidden goodies whenever I feel. I like to chew on negative thoughts to squeeze the positivity out of them. I have my own approval to keep negative people out of my life and tune out when they become overwhelming, I know that my real beauty and positivity lies within me. I only have to rekindle it through self-love.” ~ Balroop Singh from Emotional Shadows.

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“I have taken the time through the years to focus on my positive qualities as a person. Learning to let go of negative thinking, enjoying my own company and treating myself to the joys of life have been positive steps forward that have helped me. I’ve learned to take care of myself as I would a best friend, to support myself when I needed it and to celebrate what I’ve accomplished in life. Loving myself first has been the basis for my ability to truly love others. True self love is a process with twists and turns until you come to that place where you are finally at peace with yourself.” ~ Cathy Taughinbaugh from Treatment Talk.

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“It’s very simple really – meditation. Although I have been meditating for about 8 years I started to develop a habit of dropping it when I was really busy, which has been a lot lately. I have dealt with GAD (generalized anxiety disorder) since my early teens and I notice this can rear it’s ugly head when I stop meditating regularly or for long enough.

So since 1st January I have committed to meditate for at least 30 minutes per day and more usually 45 minutes. The difference is remarkable – in a good way.

Meditate don’t medicate is my motto!” ~ Tim Brownson from A Daring Adventure.

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“The most important thing I’ve done for self-love was to step away from a soul-crushing career and I am thankful for that every day. I had to step away from a stimulating and rewarding legal career in order to save my life and my sanity:) I realized that the best thing I could do for my life was to step away from an environment that I found chaotic, adversarial and painful. Was it easy to let go? No. Did it lead me to more peace, happiness and fulfillment in my life? Absolutely. We spend a lot of our day with our jobs and our careers. If your work doesn’t fulfill you and doesn’t align with your spirit, consider ways to transition out of it. I found 21 other ways to cultivate self-love in my life and you’re welcome to check out the self-romance manifesto I wrote here.” ~ Vishnu from Vishnu’s Virtues.

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“I start my day by being creative, heading to my studio and painting each morning, then a meditation, prayers and journaling before heading to my happy place, the beach to walk and swim. The painting feeds my creative soul. Meditation and journaling help me listen to the whispers of my heart where true wisdom lies. The sun and the ions from the sea water raise my vibes.  This followed by a green smoothie all help to love me more. When I am being kind to me, I am loving me and this is growing my self-love muscle. I believe that to fully embrace my self-love, I MUST spend time EVERY day feeding my spirit, my body and my soul. When I do this I live a life full of happiness which becomes stronger daily.” ~ Suzie Cheel from Creating A Life You Love.

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“111 days ago, I made a HUGE commitment to myself and to the work I’m compelled to do. Like the majority of people, I convinced myself that I was too busy, the needs of others came first (including Facebook!) One day, as I neared my 51st birthday I realized my excuses were lies I was telling myself.

On October 26, 2014 I turned my life upside down. Instead of continuing the lie that I was a night owl, I set my alarm for 4:30 am. If I was going to really teach yoga and really write books, I had to walk my talk. It wasn’t easy at first and I’ve made a few adjustments, but the beauty of my mornings is the magic with which I cultivate self love daily.

These days, I wake up at 5AM. I’m on my yoga mat by 5:15 and depending on what my mind, body, and soul need, my yoga practice is anywhere from 30-45 minutes. My yoga practice includes asanas, pranayama, and meditation. I then make my coffee and sit down to write. Since this radical change, my weekend yoga classes are at capacity, my writing is flourishing, and my first book, which was published on February 11, 2015, is now an international bestseller.” ~ Peggy Nolan from Let Go. Move Forward.

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“On a daily basis, I practice allocating some me time. I can be a workaholic and tend to forget things when I am working. However, I have since learned that the importance of spending some quiet time for self-care. For quiet time, I choose to reflect on my blessings, do emotional clearing and do some meditation or visualisation work.

I tune into a greater sense of wellness when I feel nurtured from the inside. I believe that I make a calmer parent.

Most certainly, I feel that things move a lot more smoothly for the rest of my day.” ~ Evelyn Lim from Abundance Tapestry.

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“I was a people pleaser for many years, so it took time and conscious effort for me to cultivate self-love. I’m happy to say, though, that I’m getting much better at honouring and loving myself – and it feels wonderful! There are different ways I incorporate it into my life, but the most important thing I do for myself is listen within.

I follow my inner nudges. If something feels wrong, I don’t do it. If I need more rest and self-care, I listen and slow down (for the most part… after all, I’m a work in progress!). And if I’m presented with an opportunity and something in me says “go for it” – even if it seems crazy – I do it!” ~ Christine Callahan-Oke from Your Inspired Life.

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“I meditate.  When I meditate, I’m giving my self the gift of attention, presence, and calm.  That’s self-love!  With time and practice, meditation naturally softens your heart heart as well so I notice I’m less reactive, judgmental, and more accepting towards my self and others.

Meditation also brings clarity so I more easily see helpful solutions and feel inspired to be kinder and more loving.” ~ Sandra Pawula from Always Well Within.

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“As hokey as it may sound, most mornings when I open my eyes, I say, “Good morning, GUS!” before I roll out of bed. GUS is God-Universe-Spirit. That sets the tone for my day, and to me, is one of the most loving things I can do for myself.

As a person in long-term recovery, maintaining a loving spiritual connection is vital to my emotional and physical health.” ~ Beth Wilson from Be Here Today.

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“I cultivate self love by knowing what makes me happy and making sure to do it everyday. I run next to the bay, I get creative by doing projects and writing, and when I need a break, I let myself watch TV for a few hours if that’s what I need! I also cultivate self love by setting goals, believing that I can achieve them, and small taking actions to achieve them everyday. I work on my blog, learn new things, and always try to grow as a person. Also, starting everyday with a mornings practice makes a huge difference. When I am able to exercise, meditate, and write first thing in the morning, I know my day will be better.” ~ Daniela Uslan from DanielaUslan.com

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“My morning routine is what increases my self-love. It can include any or a combination of the following: reading A Course In Miracles, meditating, sitting in my backyard journaling, running, walking or hiking. It all began when my 4 daughters were very young. I would wake up a couple of hours earlier than they did. I would be peaceful, centered and ready for our hectic lives. It was a turning point for me that affected our entire family.

I write and talk more about self-love in my Course On Love. It’s on sale for 19.99.” ~ Tess Marshall from The Bold Life.

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“I cultivate self-love through focusing on my strengths. I am great at so many things. And so are you!!! By choosing to focus on the things I’m good at and build my career around them, I can find joy and love in my life and myself – much more so than if I focused on the things I’m not so great at.

In my work I help people find and focus on what they’re great at and what they love to do too. Life is so much more fun that way!” ~ Jessica Sweet from Wishingwell Life Coaching

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“What I’ve found is that the greatest way to cultivate self love for more happiness is to accept myself with open arms, judge myself kindly, forgive myself regularly, and very rarely ever take myself too seriously. I remind myself all the time that I’m doing my best I can and that my best is good enough as long as I keep at it and learn from my stumbles, bumps and bruises.

The side benefit is that as I’m patient and accepting of myself, I find it easier, more natural to be patient with and accepting of others.” ~ Ken Wert from Meant to Be Happy

 

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“While loving others is easy and natural for me, self-love is very new to me – as in, I have begun practicing self-love awareness and intention in the last year. In the morning, after I share gratitude with Source, I look into the mirror, right into my eyes and I feel into my inner core energy and say “I love you, thank you for being you.” I show myself love by taking the time to listen to what my body is saying and how my heart feels, then gifting myself with all that nourishes my being, delights my senses and amplifies my faith. As I move through each day, I thank myself for the steps I am taking and I build into each day ‘rewards’ for those steps and gifts of love that light my heart (for me that is fresh air, laughter, sunshine, beach walks, writing and creating and restorative sleep). Love is an action, so I am careful with my self-talk, intending to be loving, kind, compassionate and encouraging and I set and honor boundaries that only allow similar energy into my space.” ~ Joy Holland from Facets of Joy.

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Are you ready to embrace love for yourself, for your limitless happiness? Do you have any Self love tips to share? I’d love to hear from in the comments below. 

And P.s. Love you all! Happiest Valentines Ever! 🙂

With Immense Love & Gratitude,
~Zeenat~

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