“Do all the good you can. By all the means you can. In all the ways you can. In all the places you can. At all the times you can. To all the people you can. As long as ever you can.”~ John Wesley
Having traveled extensively to many countries and meeting many many souls, I have noticed one common negative trait in almost 95% of people(for sometime even me!). What is this negative trait?
Here it is: We do good(awesome!), but only because we feel like we are going to get something back in return(not so awesome!). Doing good for personal gain is no good at all.
As an occupational hazard, I tend to analyze everything. So, when someone I know, made a huge donation to a charity dear to my heart I was mighty pleased of course….up until this ‘someone’ started talking to press and media about the huge donation they had made. Now I know these people…I know they started out donating money to this charity out of the goodness of their heart. But, almost unconsciously, when that goodness of heart turned into self promotion and self gain is hard to pin point.
Negative or Positive Mental Conditioning
I believe it all starts with our mental conditioning. We have been trained since childhood to be a certain way or do a certain act to please someone else. As children we were told “If you want your teacher to like you, be on your best behavior “, “If you do well is your exams, you will get a new toy.” ….We have been brought up to believe that all good acts we do deserve a gift or remuneration of some sort. While I have nothing against positive reinforcement, we must realize that there is a very fine line between ‘positive reinforcement’ and ‘promoting personal gain’.
What if we were brought up to believe that every good act we do was good for our heart, for our mind and our soul? What if we were brought up to believe that all good acts we do, bring immense joy to us and to the person we are doing it for?
Since I have realized this trait was present in me too, I have kept myself in check by asking myself a simple question before I do any GOOD act for anyone. I ask myself “What am I expecting in return?” If a bit of personal gain comes up, I correct that thinking by telling myself “I do all GOOD acts only for JOY.”
With practice we can let go of the negative ‘personal gain’ mindset and just DO good for the joy of it. What a wonderful world that would be 🙂
Simply Positive Ways to Just DO Good for the Joy of it:
- Lend your shoulder to someone who needs it without judging their story.
- Donate a small amount to a charity anonymously.
- Teach someone something they need to learn without making them feel like you know best and they don’t.
- Solve someones problem without rubbing it in their face at anytime in the present or future.
- Appreciate someone even though you know they have never been kind to you.
- Tell someone you believe in them without really expecting the same support back.
- Alter or change your plans for someone you love, without ever expecting the same from them.
- Ask someone, “Can I do something for you today?”…then do it and let it go.
- Allow someone else to teach you a thing a two, even though you might be closed minded about it.
- Forgive someone who has wronged you, not because you are proving to be better than them, but because you have genuine compassion for them.
- Leave an appreciative comment/line in someones inbox. Not because you want to show them you are so nice, but because you genuinely care.
- Simply beam a heart smile to all you meet. Because you genuinely see a positive quality in them and are appreciating it.
- Do one act of pure goodness from your heart every week. Not because you want to tom tom it to the world, but because you want to grow as a good evolved soul.
- ………………………this one is for you. Share one way you can just do good for the joy of it in the comments below. Lets learn from each other.
Human tendency dictates that we will make mistakes and we will get on the negative mindset wagon once in a while. And that is ok. The important thing is we started off with good intention hence when this negative mindset sets in, we can make an effort to change it. It gets easier with practice…I promise. I’m living proof of it.
Lets just DO GOOD and teach our children to DO Good too, cause that’s how we are laying the foundation for a truly positive and loving world.
What are your thoughts on this topic? Share your thoughts and your own ways to DO GOOD with me in the comments below. I love learning from your wisdom!
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With Immense Love & Gratitude,
~Zeenat~
*Positive Provocations* 
I volunteer in national parks to do weeding, sometimes rubbish clean up or planting native seedlings. And yes, I do get a lot back. A feeling of relaxation, accomplishment, learning new things, warm fuzzies, friendships with likeminded people, more knowledge and appreciation for the environment, a deep respect for the previous custodians of the land, the knowledge that I am doing something that will permanently change the land in a positive way. I recently learned about an aboriginal approach to think of how what I do today will impact the people 7 generations in the future. I like it. I am fine with the personal gains I receive and I find it motivates me to continue the volunteer activities.
I see and agree with the basic sentiments of your post, Zeenat. Giving to get something back in return almost always ends up leaving you disappointed. However, I do believe in creating a win/win situation where you give or do good which is good for another entity and good for you as well furthering your goals.
The Dalai Lama said that we all need to be what he calls “wise selfish.” I believe spotting, creating, and acting smartly with good intentions for you and others is being wise selfish. It’s possible to give to others and yourself at the same time.
I guess it is according to the situation/ person.For example, I swarm Twitter with Debbie’s blog posts every now and then as a genuine appreciation for her act of kindness to me personally in 2015. :))
Thanks Zeenat for the article although I do not agree totally with it.
I’d add: Do something to help out purely because you can – don;t think beyond that. See an opportunity, act – job done. I believe there’s every reason to gain pure joy from helping others out.
I would add to that keeping my heart open allows me to approach all situations with a loving and giving attitude. This in turn makes me aware of opportunities to freely do good works without any compensation expected!
In a world filled with “what’s in it for me?” I continue to hold doors for strangers, let people cut in front of me at the checkout, help little old ladies with their packages, smile and blow kisses at babies, and say “good morning,” to strangers I pass on the street on my morning walk. I don’t need anything in return, and it doesn’t cost me anything. It’s who we are.
Nice article Zeenat…and so important to remember to give without attachment to the outcome.
I think this is why we’re hear! To do good!
Interesting Zeenat. I”m the ‘doing good because it feels good person’. But. I think there’s levels here. You can be generally kind, like the commenter who holds doors for strangers and helps the elderly with their packages…it doesn’t take much and everyone feels good. Then there’s the next level when you are involved with volunteer work or something similar. But whether it’s the little every day kindnesses or the larger versions of doing good, it seems to me to be important that if whatever level you’re doing good, if it doesn’t feel good…don’t do it. There’s plenty of ways we can bring love and kindness into the world. Just find one that is good for you and good for others. 🙂