While growing up, I was almost always surrounded by loving friends, who stood by me in thick and thin. I really never knew the pain or anguish of being friendless or disliked. As a libran and as my super intelligent Daddy’s little girl, the few outgoing and conversational qualities I possessed were constantly in use helping me to be well, Liked. But, as I grew up and started understanding life and all its intricacies, I came to a startling realization…..not everyone ‘feels’ liked or loved. Notice I said, not everyone ‘feels’ liked or loved….cause everyone is loved and liked in reality, we just don’t accept and love ourselves enough to embrace that fact.
I grew up loving and reading Dale Carnegie. I am so influenced by his books, that I use his methods in many of my Seminars and group counseling sessions. When it comes to books about networking, building relationships or dealing with people, my favorite and undisputed classic is ‘How To Win Friends and Influence People’. Dale Carnegie wrote the book in 1936 and it has been read and put to good use by millions of people since.
The most imperative of realizations in the book is that although some people are more extroverted or affable, dealing with people is a learned skill that anyone can master. Believe me, I thought I had that department of being liked and loved covered….till I was blown away by all the positive life suggestions in this book.
The second section of the book is titled, Six Ways To Make People Like You. These are simple ideas that make a huge difference. These are the ones I’m going to discuss and share with you today…from my perspective ofcourse 🙂 So here goes people….hold onto your coffee mugs and read to be positively blown away…they are so simple, you’ll wonder why you hadn’t thought of them before..:
Six Positively Simple Ways to make People Like You
1) Be Genuinely Interested In Other People
In my years of counseling and dealing with people, I have seen, that the word that people say more than any other is ‘I”. People love love love to talk about themselves, their lives, their hobbies, their families, their passions, etc… When you become interested in people, ask questions and allow them to talk, they will love you for it.
Very simply: Just focus on being interested not interesting. There is a big difference. Interesting is about you, interested is about them.
I love to flash smiles at passersby and see whether they smile back. They usually do 🙂 I can see how a stressed aura changes just with the simple smile. A smile is a simple gesture that doesn’t cost you money, time, or energy but it can brighten someone’s day, changes the way you feel and makes you more approachable.
Very Simply: Smiling is attractive and contagious. People around you can’t help but smile when they see a big smile on your face.
3) Remembering and Using People’s Name
Its said that the sweetest and most important sound in language is the sound of your own name.
We’ve all been there when you recognize the person but can’t remember their name. It’s awkward, uncomfortable and sometimes embarrassing. We often use the excuse that “I am not good with names,” but if you want to master people, you need to begin to remember names.
Very Simply: Develop a system, when you meet someone use their name 3 times in conversation or write their name down in a notebook with some notes about them. Figure out what works for you.
4) Be A Good Listener
My grandfather(Nana) used to tell the chatterbox me that ‘we are all given one mouth and two ears for a reason’. We need to encourage others to talk and then listen to understand.
Listening is an active process. It is much more than being silent. It involves love and empathy, which is to walk in someone’s shoes and understanding, which is the ability to relate without judging or fixing.
Very Simply: Listening is a skill that is developed with practice and as you master it, people will like you more and more.
5) Talk To People with Their Interests in mind
People love it when you can talk to them in terms of their interests. They love when you are knowledgeable on subjects they enjoy and can have intelligent conversation about what matters most to them.
That doesn’t mean that you have to be an expert in every category, but being able to talk to people in terms of their interests goes a long way. One way to do this is to study topics of interest before meeting with people. If you know that your business lunch/dinner is with a huge football fan, then take some time to brush up on your knowledge of the game. This small point may make the biggest difference in how the meeting turns out.
If you have paid attention to the first five ways to make people like you, you are probably noticing a trend. Each of the points is focused on the other person.
Talking in terms of other people’s interest is another way to put them first and leave a great impression.
6) Make People Feel Important But Do It Sincerely
Each person is different and making people feel important can be done in a myriad of ways. You can give a compliment, remember their birthday or a special occasion, recognize them for their skills and contribution or give them a gift.
The key is to make sure you do it sincerely. Your motives must be pure. This is not about giving to get, it is about giving because you genuinely care. People can read through individuals who are fake and only in it for themselves. If you are going to compliment someone, make it sincere. Look at the good in people and point that out.
“If you teach a man anything, he will never learn.” ~Bernard Shaw
Learning is an active process. We learn by doing. So, if you desire to master the principles you are reading, do something about them. Apply these ways at every opportunity. If you don’t you will forget them quickly. Only knowledge that is used sticks in your mind.
As a Girl Guide I was taught to leave a campsite better than before I got there. I think the same principle applies to people.
Leave every person better for having met you. Let them celebrate the meeting of hearts that has happened on account of the meeting. When you give love selflessly, you WILL get it back ten fold…and that is the Law of the Universe. Believe it! Embrace it! Live it! Celebrate it!
Have you got any tips and thoughts of your own on this topic? In your life experience, how have you learned to make people like you? Share your tips, wisdom and experiences in the comments below. Lets learn from each other darlings!
Thank you so much for stopping by! If this article touched your heart, please share it on facebook, twitter, etc. with your loved ones and pass on the positivity and love. I appreciate your help and support!
For Online Psychological/Spiritual Counseling with me please CLICK HERE!
Other recent positive articles you will love:
- Celebrate with Joy
- Positive Prompt: The 5 Compliments Rule
- Celebrate Everything with Gratitude
- Celebrating YOU(and me) with more Positivity ~ Happy September!
- How to Be Young and Happy FOREVER! ~ 12 Super Positive Ways
With Immense Love, Light & Gratitude,
GET YOUR ‘POSITIVE HAPPINESS GOODIES’!!!
Get the latest articles(FREE) as soon as they are published, by Email OR RSS.PLUS if you are an Email Subscriber, You get the Positive Living Handbook+My Ebook “The Best of Positive Provocations”+ “Your Self Healing Starter Kit”. Come Join the facebook community & follow me on Twitter and Google+ for Positive Provocations Everyday!
8 thoughts on “Six Positively Simple Ways to make People Like You”
Hi Zeenat, I have been following most of these ways but I learnt them quite late and realised how effective they are. When we listen to others, give them our time, we also learn a lot from what they share. I hope people like me!
Thanks for sharing wonderful tips.
Balroop, I know I definitely like you…no no correction love you 🙂
And sweetie, better now than never right!?
Thanks for telling me Zeenat. I love you too, I feel so connected with you, always.
love your blog
can you give some tips for neutralizing negative energy in long term.
Thank you so much for stopping by. Inshallah soon I’ll write a detailed article on neutralizing negative energy. But for now, just be conscious of your thoughts. Every-time a negative thought comes, gently replace it with a positive one. This practice will help you immensely.
I LOVE this post. Thank you for sharing.
It is my belief that when two people share an emotional connection, then it doesn’t matter whose interests or life the connection sparked around. Both people get to bask in the emotional connection.
When we keep a big chunk of our communication around other people’s interests, viewpoints, and needs, we create lots of emotional connections. 🙂 And it’s a beautiful thing.
You are SO right! The emotional connections are the icing on the cake for sure. So many fringe benefits 🙂
Thank you for your beautiful comment here.
They are simple things to follow but very powerful and effective. Thanks
Comments are closed.