A Transformative Birthday ~ On Being True to Myself

“I am not bound to win, but I am bound to be true. I am not bound to succeed, but I am bound to live by the light that I have.” ~ Abraham Lincoln

An honest confession: Last year at this time, I was NOT living by the light inside. I was not being true to myself. I was in immense pain physically and emotionally. There was so much that was not going right in my life, that I had just gone on living on autopilot. I realized all this when I saw my birthday pictures the next day i.e. on the 30th of September 2014. I was shocked to see myself. I couldn’t recognize myself with all those layers. I felt like crap literally! I cried for a few nights and prayed and prayed for guidance. I needed to feel like myself again. I craved to FEEL alive again. I was helping all these people heal through counseling and healing work, while I wasn’t feeling very good myself. It didn’t feel right.

Thankfully tough, I was always surrounded by loving family, friends and soulmates. My daughter who is 8 years old now and super active told me, “Ma, come play badminton with me.”…I went and played. But I couldn’t. I ached all over…..I was a badminton champion in my school and college days. I won many inter-school and college competitions at the time. At this point I realized that I NEEDED to make a drastic positive change in my life. If its not now then it will never happen. If I cant enjoy my daughters growth with her, then what is this life really worth?!

I struggled with myself after the realization for about a month. At the end of October 2014 I decided to make drastic changes to improve my health and my life. And I haven’t looked back since.

What I did to transform myself?

  1. I started using the affirmation: “I am completely whole and healed.” I said it a hundred times a day literally!
  2. I made a small poster saying “BE TRUE TO YOURSELF” and kept it on my desk to remind me again and again to center to myself in-case I forget.
  3. I went on a completely vegetarian, carb free and sugar free diet. I wrote about it here.
  4. I started power walking, restarted yoga and added pilates to my physical training.
  5. I listened to one ted talk daily, come hail come storm.
  6. I took a Sound Healing and Angel Therapy course…..which stimulated my thinking and nurtured my soul. As part of my nature, I need mental stimulation constantly. I love learning new things. So a new course here and there keeps me happily stimulated. Helps with inner healing too.

How I transformed?

The results of all what I was doing were out in a few days of starting. Mentally and emotionally I began to feel whole again. I was still very far from my ideal pain free physical state though, but emotionally I was stronger. feeling better.

The physical transformation in terms of weight-loss took about 3 weeks to show. I had lost a whopping 13 kgs in 3 weeks…and as the weeks went by I kept dropping the excess weight. Today I have lost 24 kgs in total and I still have 10 kgs more to go to reach my ideal BMI weight.before after 1

All in all my drastic positive changes were beginning to take shape.

Now after almost 11 months of intense physical and emotional re-training I am so happy to see this transformed me. I feel like an 18 year old on steroids!! I run and play with my daughter everyday. I run, walk and play for myself everyday too 🙂 I have so much energy its mind boggling. And all this cause I stayed on my path, I stayed true to myself. I knew that life of autopilot, while happy on the outside was eating me alive on the inside. I was struggling and now I am not anymore.

before after 2

“Spiritual empowerment is evidenced in our lives by our willingness to tell ourselves the truth, to listen to the truth when its told to us, and o dispense truth as lovingly as possible, when we feel compelled to talk from the heart.” ~ Christina Baldwin

We all have these moments of self realization at different points in our lives. Some of us let them pass and then keep spiraling downwards. While some of us use these realizations to learn truths about our own true nature.

Today as I share my weaknesses with you, openly and freely. I realize, that I am only able to do this because I faced my own truth. I faced my own shortcomings and did something about it. Unless we face our own truth, we will not be at peace.

The kind of peace that brings spiritual fulfillment and growth.

Immense Gratitude

As I ring in my 38th Birthday right now, I am in a state of deep gratitude and peace. Gratitude for all the truths I have faced over the past year, all the people I have met, all the souls I’ve deeply connected with, all the moments that took my breath away, all the love that I was showered with, all the lessons learned and all the beauty that the Divine blessed me with. There were intense moments of love this past year that I so want to relive 🙂 but I know there will be plenty more this coming year. Cant wait!!

I am also thankful to each and every one of you! For stopping by every week, for sharing your thoughts, for reading, for your beautiful emails, for your love and for all the inspiration you have provided me with this past year.

My mission still remains: “Let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier. Be the living expression of God’s kindness: kindness in your face, kindness in your eyes, kindness in your smile.”~ Mother Teresa

Mother Teresa kindness quote Positive provocations

My hands are small I know, but they are only for spreading love and kindness.

I get down on my knees right now and I pray for each of you. May you be blessed with immense love and happiness always.

Because really, in the end, Only love and Kindness Matter.

Thank you so much for stopping by! If this article touched your heart, please share it on facebook, twitter, etc. with your loved ones and pass on the positivity and love. I appreciate your help and support!

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With Immense Love, Light & Gratitude,

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18 thoughts on “A Transformative Birthday ~ On Being True to Myself

  1. How inspiring, Zeenat! And, I’m so happy for you too. I feel like I’m entering a new era for myself, beginning with 6 hours of tai chi class each week. This week, I’m looking at my diet. You are so courageous and you are inspiring me to get physical!

    1. Darling Sandra
      Getting off my butt became such a necessity, that I just couldn’t ignore it anymore. The results are of course full blown happy 🙂
      You’re already taking care of yourself so well. Tai chi six times a week is commitment! I’m sure you’re already seeing the results.
      Thank-you for your love and kindness these past years. I so appreciate you.
      Love always ~

  2. Dear Zeenat, To think that you too were going through such tough days and yet you were able to comfort me when I called after my Papa had a cardiac arrest! Bless you dear, and hope that I too would be able to heal myself as well and completely as you have, following your example

    1. Darling Archana,
      I’ve been keeping your dad’s in my prayers from the first day we spoke of him.
      As for my tough times, I don’t allow them to overpower me…while its hard at times, I just keep pushing on. I know God has his ways of working things out and so Hope springs eternal.
      I wish you could come to mumbai someday soon so we can meet and really have a heart to heart. Way overdue 🙂
      Love always ~

  3. Elizabeth

    I love you Z. I am so thankful for your love and kindness. I pray that you will continue to grow in love and kindness for yourself as well as the love and kindness you give to others. Be Blessed with grace and peace from the Most High.

  4. Angela

    Beautifully written and inspiring ! Due to a medical condition I am not in a position to do many of the things I once was able to but your writing reminds me that each step I do take, even if small, makes a difference. Congratulations for taking time for yourself to make the changes you needed and for being courageous enough to share. Happy birthday…may your day be filled with many beautiful blessings!!

    1. Hi Angela,
      There were so many times after writing this post, that I thought I should edit stuff off…
      But I went ahead and promised myself to be authentic and raw to you all, so had to keep that promise.
      We learn when we are ready to. You will be healthy and strong soon. If I can help in anyway, please don’t hesitate to ask. Email me at zeenat.syal@gmail.com anytime!
      Sending you waves of loving and healing vibrations~

  5. Happy Birthday, darling Z!!! I love your smile in all of the photos!! I also understand the physical and energetic components of being work together – so this explains why you are feeling infinite possibility so strongly! I am so proud of you and happy for you. And I love you and am inspired by you!

    1. Joy, that whole process of self love and energy change is what I’ve so beautifully understood during this transformative time. It’s amazing how the physical and mental changes go hand in hand with spiritual work.
      I love you too Joy! You teach me so much everyday and am blessed to have your energy in my life. Thank-you.
      Much love ~

  6. synchronicitybridge

    “I am not bound to win, but I am bound to be true. I am not bound to succeed, but I am bound to live by the light that I have.” ~ Abraham Lincoln

    Carl Sandburg, who wrote ‘Abraham Lincoln The Prairie Years And The War Years’ and since then is recognised as the best biography on Lincoln… recorded this observation in his book:

    By Walt Whitman

    “I see the President almost every day, as I happen to live where he passes to or from his lodgings out of town…He always has a company of twenty-five or thirty cavalry, with sabres drawn, and held upright over their shoulders… None of the artists have caught the deep, though subtle and indirect expression of this man’s face. They have only caught the surface. There is something else there.”

    Zeenat your truth is one that is guided by light and one that shines beauty on all before it…

    A most loving and happy birthday to you dear sister.


  7. Dear Zeenat, Happy Happy Birthday. May you be blessed and continue to shimmer and spread the glow of your loving words and positive light for many many years. I am so glad that you are looking so fit, healthier and happier. Love you.

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