‘For last year’s words belong to last year’s language And next year’s words await another voice.’ ~ T. S. Eliot
As the year end inches closer and closer, I find myself introspecting a whole lot. I find myself thinking about the year in terms of achievements, high points, low points, successes, failures, learning points etc. Introspection and a constant need to be a better more evolved human(e) being makes me think of the year that’s gone by in a learning light. I have definitely learnt a whole LOT this past year.
We are all in a state of constant growth, be it physical, mental or spiritual. We don’t necessarily like to believe we are growing constantly, cause that would mean an admittance to NOT knowing EVERYTHING. Funny how we love to show the world we are master champions about everything, but in reality we are just trying SO hard to fit in.
No New Year Resolutions for me
As another NEW YEAR sets in, we WILL be pulled into the ‘making resolutions’ race. Yes its the IN thing to do and discuss in the last week of the old year and first week of the new year….but is it really worth it? Like I said earlier, we are all just trying to fit in…but this trying to do what everyone else is doing doesn’t really feed our soul. It doesn’t make you achieve anything. Its funny how everyone comes up with these mammoth resolutions at the end of every year only to break them in a few weeks or months into the new year.
I stopped making new year resolutions many years back. Why? Because I hated how they made me feel when I “couldn’t” live upto my own oh so high standards. I tell you, I used to make outrageously unrealistic resolutions. It took me many years to realize that this was causing more havoc than growth in me. I have since devised an all year round positive alternative ~ Promises to Myself.
How to Promise Yourself a Truly Positive New Year
“I am the captain of my fate, I am the master of my destiny” ~ Henry Ford
When it comes to promises to myself as compared to resolutions, I find I am more than just kind to myself while making these promises. Because a promise usually comes straight from the heart. The journey towards keeping that promise then becomes a soul nurturing experience full of new learning and happiness.
Over the past few years I have made many promises to myself and very successfully so. But, there are two promises I keep making every year. These promises make me feel like am indeed creating positive change IN me and around me. These promises bring happiness in my hands for me to choose and make mine as I so please.
Let me share them with you today, so that you too may live a positively empowered and happy life…..today, tomorrow, next year, to infinity and beyond 🙂
1) “I promise to Love Myself no matter what.”
To love yourself means to accept yourself as you are warts, moles, bulges, big personality, craziness and all. To truly accept myself and come to a point where I feel comfortable in my own skin was the hardest thing I have had to do. I had addictions, issues with body image, complexes etc. We cannot truly enjoy happiness if we are not at peace with ourself. Our relationship with ourself is the most important one we’ll ever have.
Today, with this new found love for self, I don’t depend on others for my happiness. I am my own happiness. I create my own freedom, my own life…the way I want it, without anyone else’s influence. Simply because, my whole being feels loved and whole.
Self-love means that your well-being matters to yourself unconditionally and in practical terms: (a)Who you are is more important than what you are. (b) You are valuable. Nothing can change that. (c) What you want always matters.
2) “I promise to Let Go of any and all negativity IN me and around me.”
To let go of negativity means to let go of all that is holding you back from emerging into your truest self. You must let go of past pain through forgiveness. You must let go of limiting beliefs by opening your mind to learning. You must let go of fear by going forth and doing what frightens you. You must let go of toxic relationships that are preventing you from being your True self. You must let go of self judgement by loving yourself. You must let go of sadness by adding conscious dashes of happiness in your life. You must let go of bad habits by replacing them with positive habits. You must let go of all that doesn’t nourish your heart and soul.
It is only when we can consciously let go of all that is negative in our lives, that we can make space for the positive. I began letting go many years back…slowly. One step at a time. Its a process of learning and evolving into your highest self. And this is one process that follows us beyond this physical life. It dawned on me a while back, that all that I had become was the sum total of what OTHERS wanted me to become….that was like a jolt of gigantic proportions. The first step of letting go of negativity is always always always Forgiveness of self. For when our heart is pure our world automatically adjusts to become more positive and happy.
MY EVERYDAY PROMISE TO MYSELF: Everyday of every year, I make a Promise to Myself to be braver than my past, to be stronger than the struggle… So that I may enjoy new and exciting adventures everyday.
Give yourself a gift by making these two promises to yourself. Its a promise your future(more happier!) self will thank you for. And, when you make a promise to yourself like the ones above, your heart will tune into it and create pathways where you never thought possible. All those tiny resolutions like losing weight, getting a promotion, moving to another country, finding your true love….will automatically manifest right in front of you EFFORTLESSLY….because you made space for it by letting go and loving yourself.
LET a Happier and more Positive YOU emerge in this coming year.
What are your thoughts on new year resolutions? How many have you made only to be broken? Will you be making these soul nourishing promises to yourself this new year? Share your beautiful thoughts in the comments on this article. I’d love to hear from you!
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With Immense Love & Gratitude,
~Zeenat~
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*Positive Provocations* 
I gave up New Year’s Resolutions, too. A long time ago. At first I found a word or a phrase that would be my guide post for the year. But later on I found something more profoundly powerful than resolutions or the guiding phrase: I discovered the power of deliberate intent. My life is my choice and through deliberate intent, I am the co-creator of my life. I join forces with the Universe and Universal Energy. It’s an amazing thing 🙂 ❤ Much love to you Z!!
New Years resolutions are more like wishes that will probably never be fulfilled. We don’t need an occasion to practice thankfulness or kindness. There is no time like the present to find a charity you love & offer your help. Do you have an elderly relative or friend who can no longer do all she wanted to do? How hard would it be to offer to bring in her mail daily, or clean her cat’s litter box once a week? How hard would it be to make a weekly or monthly visit to a nursing home to visit those who are alone? When I do good for others, I feel better about myself. What could it hurt to share a small portion of your time with people who would appreciate it? A gift from the heart shows you care, & helps you to feel better about yourself! I started as a volunteer at the Humane Society. I became involved in taking the dogs to parades & events, I helped with fund raisers, & I am on the board of directors. I was training a new family to be volunteers. The husband turned to me halfway through our session & said,”You really love these dogs, don’t you?” I love to know that a life of neglect & abuse can be turned around with a lot of love. I love to see these now-confident dogs achieve a forever home. It’s who I am & what I do. It has made the sun shine in my heart. Search for your sunshine. You might decide you are worthy of love & respect. especially self love & respect.
With love,
Kim
Hi Zeenat, I too kicked resolutions to the curb some years ago. I love love love your promises! That’s a beautiful way to frame these powerful intentions.
I’ve never bothered with NYRs, not because I always break them but just because I think the whole idea is silly. If you wanna make a change, make the change, don’t wait for some arbitrary date to better yourself.
Love your thoughts as usual, Zeenat! I try to look at New Years as a way to renew my best positive practices!
Ha, I still make the odd NYR, but not because of peer pressure – just because I love goals 🙂 This year I had a ‘word of the year’ too, inspired by Susannah Conway amongst others, and that was a beautiful touchstone for the year.
But I think your point that we are all in constant states of growth is a great one – having a NYR doesn’t stop me making plenty of other growth and personal development goals throughout the year! Your everyday promise is lovely.
Wishing you a good holiday season and a wonderful 2016 ahead 🙂
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A wonderful article Zeenat. I stopped making resolutions for the New Year because many of the resolutions would carry over year after year but the one resolution that I work on is learning to love myself more each year.