BE Yourself ~ Transforming into the REAL ME!

On By Zeenat Merchant Syal|PositiveProvocations.comIn Mind, Heart& Soul-Motivation&Inspiration, Mind-Mental Health, Positive Self Reflection

BE Yourself ~ Transforming into the REAL ME!“Do not wish to be any­thing but what you are, and try to be that per­fectly.”~ St. Fran­cis De Sales

Some time back on a trip to my cousin’s place, who I met after many years, we talked and gig­gled like we were kids again. Nei­ther of us felt any older than those days we used to play in the rain and cre­ate havoc dur­ing sum­mer break. All of us lived in different states/countries but would come together to Mumbai, India for the sum­mer. Its still essen­tially the same sit­u­a­tion, except now we have our own lit­tle ones roam­ing the rooms….and now I am settled in Mumbai with my family.

My Negative Self(yes I had one too!)

In most of these trips and even in my reg­u­lar life then, I was con­stantly bat­tling body Image issues. You see, I have always always been on the plump side. I don’t ever remem­ber being thin. That in itself had never been the prob­lem. The prob­lem was when I would be given free flow­ing, no hooks barred advice at every nook and cor­ner about how I should lose weight. Liv­ing in a home, where each par­ent had com­pletely dif­fer­ent approaches to the way things are sup­posed to be, didn’t make it any eas­ier. One would con­stantly keep vigil of my intake, while the other couldn’t bare the thought of his child being so wor­ried about what she ate.

This tug of war cul­mi­nated into such a mas­sive prob­lem for me espe­cially as I entered my teens. Sud­denly every­thing and every­one was about look­ing “per­fectly media good”.

You HAD TO Walk like some­one, look like some­one, talk like some­one other than your­self and you could be the IN teenager. I became that! Although I was still bat­tling the way I saw myself, I put up a brave front and laughed. I was the life of every party, and yeah had the hand­somest guys ask me out. Was all this mak­ing me feel bet­ter? NO!It was actu­ally deep­en­ing the prob­lem I had with myself and push­ing it deeper into my soul…until I was so so deeply scarred. Scarred enough to make hor­rid deci­sions I still regret. I keep think­ing now…”how could I have been so stupid?”

I still remem­ber how I would cry to sleep every night, because I didn’t like who I had become, but felt it was the Only choice I had to be accepted.

Transforming into the REAL ME!

There came a point, when the self anni­hi­la­tion had started, that I couldn’t look myself in the mir­ror. In those days, I came face to face with ques­tions of pur­pose. In my most low states I could hear a voice inside me ask me, “Is this what you want to BE? Who are You REALLY? ”

It was only when I met my spir­i­tual teacher, I real­ized how awe­some it could be to be Me. The Real Me. There was this woman, right across the room at a social gath­er­ing, who I couldn’t stop look­ing at. She was sim­ple, neat, smil­ing and extremely lov­ing. She wore sim­ple clothes, no frills, no makeup, no pre­ten­tious­ness what­so­ever. I was so drawn to this woman. She some­how looked like she glowed. I still think she does. She intro­duced me to my soul. And for that I remain eter­nally indebted to her. She guided me, taught me lessons from reli­gious scrip­tures. Showed me the light, so to speak.

As I dwelled into reli­gion, spir­i­tu­al­ity and all things Divine..my mind, my body, my heart all came to a cer­tain calm. I real­ized that I am meant to be a cer­tain way. It felt right. That is my unique gift. The phys­i­cal body issues began to heal. As the issues healed, a warm more lov­ing me emerged. A Me even I am some­times flab­ber­gasted by. I stopped cry­ing to sleep, I stopped hurt­ing myself, I stopped being some­one I was not. Yes, it took time and still there are times when it gets hard and I feel like I need to positively self affirm….But its all worth it!

The relief of let­ting those masks go, was like tak­ing off a huge moun­tain from my shoul­ders. I never felt lighter, freer than I did in that moment.

Yes, not all peo­ple in my life were fully happy with this trans­for­ma­tion, but they came to accept a hap­pier me.

…and TODAY

Today, I’m still plump… But hap­pily so. I love myself and things about this self. Dim­ples, warts, moles, crooked teeth, the not so per­fect figure.…I love it all. It keeps me real.

I live a very sim­ple but con­tent life today. I am healthy. I walk, do yoga, exer­cise, eat right, smile, laugh a LOT, help oth­ers heal, help souls become whole and happy. So I’m plump. Big Deal!(smile)…More of me to love More of every other soul in this Uni­verse with :)

I do hope I can instil the same sim­plic­ity, love and calm in my lit­tle girl. As she grows up, I keep think­ing, she will go through some of the anx­i­ety of peer pres­sure, soci­ety pres­sure to look or be a cer­tain way. But I know I will be with her every step of the way, telling her just how Beau­ti­ful she is just as she is. She need never be any­one else!

May we all Hap­pily embrace our awe­some and very real selves. Its one of the most imper­a­tive steps in under­stand­ing and liv­ing in con­stant hap­pi­ness. Know­ing and trust­ing the Divine Plan and liv­ing in the flow of it makes liv­ing bliss­ful. Noth­ing and I mean noth­ing can get you down then.

As I spoke to my cousin over the phone lately, she said, “We were such goof­balls in our teens na. You are still a goof­ball, naughty as ever, but you seem gen­uinely Hap­pier now….considering all that you have going on in your life(she means the problems she sees..)! What did you have an epiphany or some­thing?”

I kinda did. I FOUND THE REAL ME! Biggest Epiphany ever!

A pos­i­tive affir­ma­tion I use when I feel a whiff of old imagery com­ing along.…

“I am Awe­some. I am Beau­ti­ful. I am a divine cre­ation full of amaz­ing mas­tery.” Heart *Smile*

What are your thoughts on this topic? Have you been able to strip yourself of all the masks you wear for the world…and be simply YOU? Please share your thoughts in the comments of this article. I’d love to hear from you and help you heal!

♥♥”Thank you SO much for reading! Please, share this article on your favorite social networks. Every share, like or tweet makes me reach more people who need a positive healing nudge in their lives. I truly appreciate you!”♥♥

With Immense Love & Gratitude,
~Zeenat~

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30 thoughts on “BE Yourself ~ Transforming into the REAL ME!”

  1. I’m so sorry for your struggles, Zeenat. But, I know they made you who you are today. It was so inspiring to hear how you met your spiritual teacher and were attracted to all these simple but true qualities about her! I’m so glad you’ve embraced YOU! By healing yourself you’ve come to be such an inspiration and support to so many of us. We love you just the way you are!

    1. Dear Sandra,
      I’m not sorry at all for my past…infact thankful for it. Like you said, its what made me who I am today!
      As for my spiritual teacher…today she is geographically away from me, but we are constantly in touch and after all this time, she sometimes, seeks my counsel too… I am in no way capable to cousel her….but she loves to listen to me talk…and says she is so proud of all that I have blossomed into. I feel so grateful!
      Thank you so much for your loving comment here.
      So much Love~

  3. Thanks for sharing the “backstory”. How wonderful to meet a person who helped you discover your soul and then live from that simple peace and connection of knowing your true self and value. I’ve mostly fumbled around with various books and teachings, but finally coming to a place of more self acceptance and comfort in my 50s. Blessings Zeenat!

    1. Brad, Backstories need not always be scary eh 😉
      I am glad you are coming to peace with yourself. Many people take very long to see clearly and really accept themselves with iron clad certainty. You are not alone in this. Just remember to filter the fluff from what really matters…and happiness will be yours.
      Thank you for sharing yourself here.
      Much Love~

      1. Thanks Zeenat, You’ve been a big part of my blogging journey. Thank you for the guest posts, shares and encouragement. I appreciate your continued support, positive attitude and great posts.

        many blessings to you and yours!

  4. Body image issues seem to be global. Gah! But how wonderful you found someone who introduced you to your soul! As I enter mid-life, I’m finding myself less stressed about “the in crowd” and I’ve given myself permission to do my life my way. My soul can’t be bound by a box or a formula or someone’s opinion of “how things should be.”

    xxooo
    Peggy

    1. Oh Peggy, you too!
      True that body image issues are universal in nature….but mostly cause the superficial world is given SO much importance. If only we had soul nurturing in the regular academic curriculum….wow what a difference in healthy hearts and souls that would make.
      I love how you say “My soul can’t be bound by a box or a formula or someone’s opinion of “how things should be.”
      Thank you so much for your awesome comment here.
      Much Love~

  5. This is so beautiful! Thanks for sharing your story…it falls right in line with my passion of helping others let go of unrealistic dreams or desires to change the outside (mainly by weight loss) because the truth is, just as you are and you state, if the inside is beautiful, it will radiate for the world to see! And that is real beauty, my friend! Stay beautiful, divine, awesome, and amazing…

  6. Zeenat, what a beautiful soul you are–and your heart-felt self is who you present to the world. I’m grateful you shared the real you because there are many, many people who need to know it’s okay to be who they are. I’m one of those who used to change identities depending on circumstances and the people I was around. I’m happy to say that I now only please myself–and most days, it’s no makeup, t-shirts and flip-flops. Isn’t self-realization wonderful?

    1. Oh Beth I do so love this Self Realized YOU!! Self-realization and being true to yourself rocks!
      And this ‘please myself’ stage you have reached is really what its all about. No externals have power over the awesome you anymore. woohoo!
      Thank you for your beautiful energy and for your shining words here.
      Much Love~

  7. Hi Zeenat,

    I am so glad that you could resolve all those issues and emerge stronger to face what you really are and what you wanted to be. Peer pressure and societal demands often compel us to wear a mask of pretensions but only the bold and the brave have the capacity to pierce through that and become their real self. I am proud of your efforts to heal yourself and the resolve to stand by your daughter.

    Thanks for sharing the inspiring story of self-healing…I have always believed that the most effective healing comes from our own heart and mind. Others can only inspire and guide…efforts have to be made by us. Love Always.

    1. Hi Balroop,
      Youre so right when you say “I have always believed that the most effective healing comes from our own heart and mind. Others can only inspire and guide…efforts have to be made by us.”….. in time we all realize this truth isnt it 🙂
      I’m so happy I can pass on this positive realization to my daughter…we all need positive mentoring from time to time.
      Thank you for your beautiful comment here. I apologize for the delay in responding Balroop, I’ve been down with a bad case of the viral flu. Just getting back normal today.
      Lots of love~

  8. I’ve also always been on the ‘chubbier’ side of things, especially in my teens and early twenties. But I think one of the perks of growing older is that I’m so much more in tune with who I really am. I’m not as bothered about others’ perceptions and it feels so liberating!! Thank you for a great post 🙂

    1. Oh my you too!
      Age or rather growing up has this calming effect on our inner self right! Now, we dont care about what others think and put our comfort and sense of self worth first….which is what we shouldve been taught as kids. But better late than never eh 😉
      Thank you so much for your wonderful sharing here.
      My apologies for the late response….just getting back to health from a crazy viral flu.
      Much Love~

  9. Thank you for writing this post, Zeenat! So revelaing and vulnerable and inspires us all. That no matter where we were or the pains we suffered, there is a way out and it starts with self-acceptance and self-love. It’s sad that many of us have to fight for our own love against society, our parents and friends to find acceptance and love. Wouldn’t it be great if like you, all parents, accepted children for who they are and loved them unconditionally? We would have less anger and more peace in the world.

    1. Hi Vishnu,
      The parents acceptance took a great while for me. Dad was over accepting and mom not so much. The tug o war was excruciating. But alas, all is well that ends well 🙂
      I’ve come to a point where “I am me. Accept me or beat it” 😉 I aint changing my happy self image for nobody!
      May we have the wisdom to instill in our children their true self worth.
      Thank you for your loving comment here. Sorry for the delay in responding….just getting back to normalcy after a bad attack of the viral flu.
      Lots of love~

  10. It is often through our struggles that we find our way, or so it seems for me. Thank you for an inspiring story of hope and wholeness. As I grow older I seem to care less for the demands of others and like to – just be me, extra pounds, gray hair and all. We usually hear about peer pressure as it relates to teens and young people but it persists throughout our adult life – from the groups in which we belong to the workplaces and society in general (media). It is liberating to let go of all that nonsense, those expectations of others and just BE.

    1. Hi LaDonna,
      I DO Love this YOU that you have become! We are perfectly awesome just the way we are 🙂
      Liberating is just the tip of the iceberg…right?!
      Thank you for your beautiful sharing here.
      Apologies for the late response….was SO down with the viral flu. Slowly getting back to work today.
      Lots of love~

  12. Joseph Grennell

    Well Zeenat, I know exactly where you are coming from. What with all my professional training in mental health I was never satisfied wih my own inner spiritual life. I also met a great charismatic and spiritual person on my world travelling and volunteering , that how I came to know and accept my real self warts and all. It turned me around and made my mission ih life clear to me. Happiness is now living and working in the moment. Every day is full of joy and happiness as my eyes opened and my soul filled up with pure energy and spiritually .

    Like you I learned to fully accept myself and to allow myself to be guided by a higher and beautiful life force. Your site is so wonderful and so simple , you make it feel so easy to give up the struggle and just move into a more spiritual space.

    Thank youfor your wonderful site.

    Joseph. Psychologist. Psychotherapist. Child Therapist.

    1. Hi Joseph,
      I loved reading your story. Thank you for sharing it here.
      I appreciate your kind words about my little Piece of Heaven aka Positive Provocations 🙂 Thank you!
      Life is very simple Joseph…we choose to complicate it.
      Much Love~

      1. Joseph Grennell

        Thank you Zeeenat for your lovely reply. You utube videos are very inspiring and wonderfully insightful. Thans you for being you. Joseph

  13. I love this post, great insights! If you want more on lifestyle, body, mind, and personal development check out Laura Hames Franklin’s videos like this one here :

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    Thank you!

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